We did it, Worsters! 132 million votes were cast last night, and in the end, we helped the fifth straight white guy with a guitar win American Idol. It seemed daunting at the beginning of the season, but we succeeded yet again and helped make sure Pinoybot Jessica Sanchez was left in the loser's circle. Apparently the curse of Kristy Lee Cook is even stronger than we thought - her horse must be laughing his way through the glue factory.

The guy who chewed gum on stage. The guy who gave Ryan Seacrest bunny ears every chance he got. The guy who didn't care about the songs he picked. The guy who didn't listen to Tommy Hilfiger. The guy who sang the same way every single week. The guy who multiple times on stage said that he couldn't sing as well as everyone else. He is our American Idol. Yes, he is. And we helped him achieve that goal. The cherry on the cake is that he's going to miss a lot of the tour due to his health problems - the winner of season 11 won't even be on most of the tour! The tour's booking manager must be furious.

Check back next year, when we help #wgwg6 win the show. If you are a wgwg, you must try out for the show and we will make sure you win.

If you'd like to send us love mail for helping kill this show with #wgwg5, you can e-mail us, post on Facebook, or tweet us.

And make sure you bid on the official VFTW American Idol caricatures. Now that Phillip has won, his caricature is a real collector's item!

EDITED TO ADD: #wgwg5 is trending on Twitter in the US and White Guy With Guitar is trending Worldwide. The vocabulary we make up is taking over the world.

We just found out who's performing tonight and it's going to be like taking a time machine back to your grandmother's prom as most of the people on tonight's lineup will be unfamiliar to anyone under 70...

-The girls will pay homage to the late Donna Summer while the gays guys to Robin Gibb with the songs of the Bee Gees.

-A group performance featuring disco era greats Gloria Gaynor, Thelma Houston and Gladys Knight joined by Nelly Furtado, Sheila E., Jennifer Holliday and the Season 11 girls.

-Later in the show, the girls perform with Chaka Khan.

-Kristin Chenoweth will duet with Jessica Sanchez on the Donna Summer-Barbra Streisand tune “Enough is Enough.”

-John Fogerty will duet with Phillip Phillips (WGWG with WGWG)

-Reba McEntire will sing with Skylar Laine (They'll look like 50-year-old twins)

-Joshua Ledet and Fantasia will join forces.(The 2 Mantasias. This will be a Screech Off!)

-Jordin Sparks and Hollie Cavanagh will sing a Broadway showtune

-Jessica Sanchez and Jennifer Holliday will reprise “And I Am Telling You.” (How OTT will this be)

-The boys will sing with Neil Diamond on a group number (Nothing says Hip like this grouping)

-Wisin and Yendel (who?) will perform with Jennifer Lopez

-Rihanna is set to lip sync perform

-Joe Perry of Aerosmith has revealed that the band will debut its new single at the finale...if they survive till then

Here's one final spoiler courtesy of VFTW...tonight's winner will be a White Guy With Guitar for the fifth year in a row!

Hello, worsters! Are you happy yet? This is the final week of the crap-on-a-stick that has been Season 11 of American Idol. Not only that but this week's performance show is only an hour! I suppose they're saving for when they run 493 minutes over during tomorrow's finale, as is the annual tradition. I'm going to help by jumping right into the performances.

Phillip won the coin toss and smartly chose to go second, so Jessica is up first with Simon Fuller's pick, "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston. This is appropriate, since they're milking Whitney's corpse in order to let another corpse sing. This is a typical Jessica power-ballad performance, which means that she had a few really awesome notes floating alone in a sea of boring. Way to coast, Jessica!

Oddly enough, the judges are being forced to STFU until the end of the round. Have they learned nothing from Paula's Season 7 gaffe, when she critiqued Jason Castro's song before he had actually performed it? Oh well, at least we get to jump right into Phillip's song, which is "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King, which Simon Fuller loves to give to people he wants off the show, such as Josiah Leming. However, Phillip is taking to the song like he takes to a Dave Matthews song, which he does by turning Stand By Me into a Dave Matthews song. None of the above matters, though, because I know the Phrauen are eating this up like it's a giant bag of Phillip-flavored, dick-shaped Cheetos.

It's time for the finals and it's been a long road to get to what VFTW accepted long ago, that the winner of this show is going to be a White Guy With Guitar for the fifth year in a row. Everyone in The Philippines has their million fake accounts ready to vote for Jessica but all of Phil's more senior fans are ready too, unless they've fallen asleep by now. And tonight's show has an extra bit of excitement as VFTW pick Phillip Phillip looks sicker than ever and can collapse at any moment. Our two finalists come out and Jessica is appropriately dressed for such an occasion, while Phillip is appropriately dressed to bury a corpse. There are three rounds tonight, meaning three times the boring ballads and three times the WGWG. Jessica's up first doing Boring Ballad #1 I Have Nothing and this is reminding me of The Philippines as this is something you'd hear in any of it's ten million karaoke bars. Jessica's singing relatively nicely, although I think even now Whitney could perform this with more energy. And if Whitney were alive to hear the needless growling Jessica's added to this, she'd probably say Crack is wack, and so is Jessica!

This is for the whole enchilada, folks. And this is the closest American Idol finale in years. If Phillip Phillips wins American Idol tomorrow, we will have #wgwg5, the fifth white guy with a guitar to win this show in a row. Nothing can possibly be funnier. So tonight, you need to stop what you're doing and vote for the entire 4 hours. Get everyone you know to vote. And we're providing you with some tips on how to vote the most effective way to give us the best shot at a VFTW Victory.

● If you have AT&T, you should be texting VOTE to 5702 as much as you can. This is much faster than calling.

● If you don't have AT&T, you can dial 1-866-436-5702 or 5704 or 5706 or 5708. Try the numbers and see which is the least busy, then use that one. 

● If you have a modem in your computer, you should go to DialIdol.com, download the free program, and have it autovote for you for Phil for 4 hours. You can then also dial on your cell phone at the same time. 

● You also get 50 votes on AmericanIdol.com via Facebook, but these votes will be counted after your 2 hour window closes. So vote on Facebook later in the night once you're done texting and calling. You only get 50 votes, so stop after 50. Calling and texting is unlimited. If you live outside the US, just change your location to be from the US for a few hours and you can vote.

● If you live on the East coast or outside the US, you can also vote during the West coast time zone (9 PM -1 AM PST) if you have an account through Skype. You can also download the Skype app on your smartphone and vote that way. This is how Jessica's Filipino fans are voting for her. Idol is too stupid to track where votes come from, their system is not that intelligent. International Worsters can also use MagicJack, NetTalk, and Vonage to vote if you have any of those at home.

If you've been crying yourself to sleep because you missed out on a chance to bid on the official Vote for the Worst The Voice  caricatures, perk up sweet cheeks! The VFTW American Idol caricatures are now up for auction on eBay and they're all really great. 100% of proceeds after eBay fees go to the artist, Laura Hawbaker, for all of the time and effort she puts into doing these for us. So bid today - otherwise don't come running to us when you're inconsolable after losing the Phillip Phillips #wgwg5 caricature because you forgot to bid that extra $1.

Phillip Phillips
Heejun Han
DeAndre Brackensick
Shannon Magrane
Haley Johnsen
Eben Franckewitz 

Tonight is our chance to make Phillip Phillips the fifth consecutive WGWG winner in a row on American Idol. Still not convinced you should vote for him? Here are five reasons why you should:

5) You can put the "Phillip" back in the "Philippines".

Special thanks to smarterthanpickler for this clever play on words.

Jessica Sanchez, as you know, has a huge following in the Philippines. Not only is she part Filipino-American, but her style of light, family-friendly pop ballads is very popular over there. We have a very special and rare opportunity to change the face of Pinoy pop by showing the Philippines that Phillip brings something new and different to the table. He can be like The Beatles of the Philippines, only Imelda Marcos is no longer there to kick him out of the country if he turns down an invitation to meet her.

Help the Philippines. Vote for Phillip.

VFTW has supported Phillip Phillips for 7 straight weeks (that's more than Sanjaya!) and he has crept his way to the top by appealing to the frauen. But Jessica Sanchez has inspired her fellow Filipinos to vote from oversees using Skype. Also, viewers are tiring of the typical #wgwg winner. So what do you think will happen next week? Can we help Phillip win or will Jessica win it all? Predict who will win (not who you want to win) and then leave a comment letting us know why.

If you've been wondering why VFTW Pick Phillip Phillips is always making faces like the one on the left, it's because he needs emergency surgery NOW! We all know our pick's been in pain all season with kidney problems but TMZ.com is reporting that Phillip's condition is far more serious than we we've been led to believe by Idol.

Phillip saw his own personal doctor when he went home to Georgia last week and the doctor was alarmed at how Phil wasn't eating and how horrible he looked, and told him to have emergency surgery immediately and screw the finals. But Phillip Phillips is a true Worster and isn't going to let some life threatening condition stop him from fulfilling his destiny...becoming WGWG Winner #5!!!!!!!!!

He skips the Ford commercials. He chews gum during results shows. He spends more time giving Ryan Seacrest bunny ears than practicing his performances. He never actually sings the melody. And yet, somehow, he coasted into the top 2 of American Idol season 11.

Phillip Phillips, our #wgwg5, is in the top 2 with Jessica. And Joshua is going home. The guy the judges gave a standing ovation to every week and who said should make a record now is going home. Over Phillip. Boo ya!

Next week we MUST vote our tails off to beat the Jessica fans and make sure White Guy With Guitar #5 wins the show. 

You can say thank you to us for kicking out Joshua on Facebook, Twitter, or via e-mail. You're welcome.

EDITED TO ADD: Looks like #wgwg5 won the coin toss and chose to have the pimp spot next week. Everything's coming up VFTW!