She's not even a judge yet and she's already bringing the drama. The LA Times reports that Jennifer Lopez has not yet signed her contract to be an American Idol judge because she is trying to sweeten the pot with a TV/movie development deal and she is waiting to see how the public will react. Since she's waiting to hear what people think, here you go: Jennifer, you would make a boring judge since you'll try to be too nice so people will like you. So fuck this up please so you lose your spot and we can get someone funnier and better.

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TMZ is reporting that everyone's least favorite judge, Kara DioGuardi, has been given her pink slip. She's done. While we loved having Kara on the panel because she was so easy to mock, she was completely unlikeable and deserved to get the boot years ago. TMZ says that the show will return to a 3 judge panel consisting of Randy Jackson, Steven Tyler, and Jennifer Lopez. Why bother keeping Randy, he offers nothing to the show. This panel is made up of OK choices, but we'd prefer a train wreck judge. Hopefully Steven Tyler can deliver.

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It looks like Fox is going to have to buy an extra large judge's stool as multiple sources are reporting Jennifer Lopez is going to be one of the new judges on American Idol. Something interesting about the three most recent women rumored be new judges; Jennifer Lopez is a former choreographer with a failed music career, Courtney Love brings the booze and drugs, and Jessica Simpson can't complete a sentence without making an ass of herself. VFTW suggests simply bringing back Paula and you'll get all these qualities in one wonderful package!

It's also being reported Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler has had multiple meetings with Idol producers and may have even been offered the job. All of this is supposed to be cleared up on August 2...if Steven can avoid overdosing till then.                                                           

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The worst decision in American Idol history (other than letting Taylor Hicks on the show) has been rectified as Ellen Degeneres has gotten the boot! Ellen blabbered about not being a good fit and hurting these losers' the contestants' feelings or whatever, but VFTW knows better...it's blackhearted Nigel Lythgoe coldly taking the trash to the curb, just as he promised he would.

Randy Jackson, you're next!!!

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Looks like American Idol is concerned about how to appeal more to drug addicts and prostitutes as NBC Los Angeles is reporting that Courtney Love could be one of the new judges. As Jessica Simpson is also being considered and Randy Jackson is still around (for now), is next year going to be a singing competition or a race to see which judge can complete a full sentence first? I can see it now after each performance... 

Randy: Yo...dude...dawg house...pitchy!

Jessica: I felt your second performance tonight was more in tune and had more feeling than your first.

AI Producer: Uh, Jessica, they haven't done their second performance yet. Wrong card.

Courtney Love: FUCK OFF!!!

It's going to be hard keeping up with all the rumors as Idol desperately tries to drum up as much hype as possible by milking this to death. All I know is everything is tilting in VFTW's direction, as next season's shaping up to be the greatest television disaster EVER!!!

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Life & Style Magazine is reporting that Jessica Simpson has had multiple talks with American Idol producer Ken Warwick to become a judge on the show. Can Jessica even spell judge? One could see how she'd be a good replacement for Paula in that they both can't complete a coherent sentence but Jessica's going to have to drink a whole lot of booze and pop a whole bunch of pills to fill our precious Paula's shoes.

Expect the rumors to really pick up as American Idol quickly approaches decision time. All we know for sure is that next season is going to be a total train wreck, and VFTW will be there to laugh at it!

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