Tonight, American Idol goes to Galveston, Texas, the fifth out of eight (oy) audition shows. We get an intro from some guy up in the International Space Station. He's smiling because he's 250 miles above the Earth and out of smelling range of the crapfest below. Then, instead of a fun hour in space, we plunge back to the depths of American Idol hell. We are then reminded that Texas is the home of Season 1 winner Kelly Clarkson. We're also reminded that this show is unlikely to ever shit out anyone that successful again.

The Idol season 10 contestants all seem to be getting record deals like no other season before (except maybe season 5). So hey, putting entertaining and fun people on the show really does pay off, huh? VFTW favorite Naima Adedapo is the latest to get a record deal. She's been signed to Peak Records and will have a 3 song EP produced by Warryn Campbell, who has produced for Kanye West and Trey Songz. Not too shabby. Only 2 words seem appropriate for this announcment: BOOM FIRE!

Tonight, American Idol took us to Aspen, Colorado, which in my opinion is one of the most self-indulgent choices yet when it comes to audition cities. Aspen is a playground for A-List celebrities and other wealthy types, and accommodations are not cheap. For a lot of contestants, it probably meant having to fly into Denver and renting a car to get to Aspen. For the judges and high-level producers, it probably meant scoping out some vacation houses to snatch up. For us, it means another hour of hoping to find America's next great star, only to find a few flickering 25-watt lightbulbs hanging over a filthy sink in a tenement...with two wonderfully VFTW exceptions. Unfortunately, we have to suffer for 45 minutes before getting to that.

The search for the next Lee DeWyze and Kris Allen moves on to Aspen, although I see the contestants entering an arena that looks suspiciously about 15 000 seats too big for a place of that size. Jenni Schick is up first but it's more like Jenni Schtick as she's running around like an IBW with her head cut off. She's a music teacher and seems to like her job as much as someone who cleans out cess pools. Jenni wants a kiss from Ryan but has a better chance of getting one from The Pope. But Steven Tyler will be more than happy to kiss Jenni, although she's about ten years too old for him. Jenni sings Pat Benatar's Heartbreaker is good enough to get a gold ticket but not good enough to make the Top 24, which will put Jenni in quite the bind after her school fires her for making a complete ass of herself on National TV.

Idol Maniac sent us an email and pointed out something very interesting -most of  the rest of the Idol audition episodes this season are basically not worth watching. Out of the top 24, we've already seen 18 of them in Pittsburgh, Savannah, and San Diego. So only 6 people are left. In tonight's Aspen episode, no one makes the top 24. No one makes it from East Rutherford or St. Louis makes it either. One person from Portland (Haley Johnsen) and 5 make it from Houston (Baylie Brown, Hollie Cavanagh, Jen Hirsh, Skylar Laine, and Joshua Ledet).

So what do we suggest? Well it's barely worth watching the next few weeks so just tune out until Hollywood or  voting starts. Maybe watch Houston. Then again, we never actually suggest watching this show.

Reed Grimm is a frontrunner for the VFTW vote, and these pictures just help his cause.

Well, it's only Sunday, but here we are again. I'm less than thrilled about it. We had a decent Wednesday show, but a shitty Thursday show, which makes me think we're in for three more weeks of shitty audition shows. Why is there an OMG EXTRA SPESHUL episode tonight? Well, there were football playoffs tonight, so I suppose the programmers at FOX were hoping for a hefty lead-in from all of those football fans. After all, you know that butch male sports fans make up the core of American Idol fans. No, wait, that's just 50-year-old women who look like linebackers. Anyway, the game ran into overtime, pre-empting the show for nearly an hour. This overtime must have been great for FOX's ratings, because American Idol sure isn't helping with the network's ratings this year.

The Idol Pad has released the top 24 list and here it is.

MALES
1. Aaron Marcellus Sanders
2. Adam Brock
3. Colton Dixon
4. Creighton Fraker
5. DeAndre Brackensick
6. Eben Franckewitz
7. Heejun Han
8. Jeremy Rosado
9. Joshua Ledet
10. Phillip Phillips
11. Reed Grimm
#12 is either Caleb Johnson or Chase Likens

FEMALES
1. Baylie Brown
2. Brielle Von Hugel
3. Chelsea Sorrell
4. Elise Testone
5. Erika Van Pelt
6. Haley Johnsen
7. Hallie Day
8. Hollie Cavanagh
9. Jen Hirsh
10. Jessica Sanchez
11. Shannon Magrane
12. Skylar Laine

What do you think of this list? Anyone missing that you wish would have made it? And who's the most likely VFTW pick from those we know so far?

EDITED TO UPDATE ON 1/24: Looks like Colton Dixon is in, Clayton whateverhisnameis is out. Ugh.

I'm not writing a full blog tonight because, as opposed to these lazy wannabes on this show, I have a real job and have to get up in a few hours. A few thoughts, however...

-The show's on an aircraft carrier. There's a shot of the judges on it and Randy's and J-Lo's ass almost take up the entire flight deck.

-Jennifer Diley's bikini is able to distract us from her shovel face but not from her awful singing

-Ashley Robles' mediocre voice is the same as countless others who've been cut on this show but she's cute so she gets through

-Deandre Brackensick may be too hideous looking to pass an audition even on The Voice

-Jayray Gibson sounds like he actually has the chance to be semi-modern. That's completely useless for this show, that's stuck somewhere in the 50s

-Aubree Dieckmeyer better hope there is no IQ test for finalists. James Durbin made it, so I suppose there isn't

-Ali Shields doesn't have the voice to win Idol, but she has enough craziness to be mocked in Hollywood

-Kyle Crews is in a fraternity...Phi Beta Loser

-Jane Carrey's singing is weak but maybe she can talk out her ass like her dad

-We could end our dependency on Arab oil if we could somehow extract all the grease off of Wolf Hamlin

-Best part of tonight's show: All the boat horns ruining the auditions! The auditions have become so bland; there's no more craziness, just a bunch of rejects from show buisness who either sing like crap or are too awful looking to present.

See you on Wednesday with a real blog.

Steven Tyler performed the National Anthem before the Patriots/Ravens game today. Though performed is probably too nice of a world. Murdered. Destroyed. Shat upon. Those are better. This guy is judging people's singing - and we love it. Don't ever change, Steven.