Open Toes, off Katharine McPhee's newest album, Bumblebee Hooker of Melisma, is a masterpiece. Not since Fantasia's Baby Mama has an Idol's post-show song captured the depths of VFTW so beautifully. We can only hope and pray it becomes her second single.

While appearing on American Idol, Katharine (or as she likes to be known now, K-Slut) was known for her soaring, timeless ballads that captured the hearts of America. Capitalizing on this, Katharine decided to urinate all over her previous success to create this Beyoncé wannabe track about wearing open toed shoes. In an effort to help heal the world, Katharine suggests that all people should wear open toed shoes in an effort to stop apartheid. Brilliant!

With poignant lyrics such as "I like to listen to the click clack, shoes like this make me hate flats" and "Never too many open toes, a girl needs plenty open toes!" slamming against a hip backbeat, Katharine defines the struggle that females must feel in the 21st century, being held back by men. Why bother going to vote when you can pick up a brand new pair of heels at the mall? The songs raises so many interesting points.

Katharine also claims that gay men will love Open Toes, saying "I have this feeling it's going to make them want to put on their little open- toe shoes and walk around West Hollywood." Well spoken, Katharine. And she's right. I'm gay and I love Open Toes! It's the musical trainwreck of the year that proves she is a complete idiot, so I listen to it over and over and picture the awful music video that is soon to follow, laughing myself to sleep. Then, when I wake up, my cat is always in my room howling. So I play Open Toes again to get Fluffy to leave my room and run away in terror because she can't stand the sound of Katharine's screeching. When I leave for work, I play Open Toes on a loop while I'm gone to deter any burglars from breaking in. Ten seconds of Open Toes and they go deaf and run screaming from the building, wishing they'd never come by. It's such a versatile song! Wait... is that not what she intended?

4 thumbs down out of 5.