Vote for Haley? No Way!

Posted by thefunnystone on April 11, 2007 - 10:31am

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We've gotten a few e-mails this morning telling us to switch our pick from Sanjaya to Haley because of Sanjaya's performance this week. The people who wrote these letters obviously do not understand VFTW and have not been around very long. When we hitch our cart to a horse, we stick with it unless they suddenly become amazing week after week. We vote for entertaining people, not boring people. Thus, here are our top 10 (humorous) reasons to stick with Sanjaya and ignore White Bread Haley.

10. Sanjaya had one OK performance this week, and many many hilarious crazy performances in the past. Haley has never had a crazy performance and has had a few OK performances.

9. Haley's idea of interesting is showing off her legs. Sanjaya's idea of interesting is rocking a ponyhawk and butchering No Doubt songs.

8. Sanjaya's hair hypnotizes us and has us wondering what it can do next week. Haley's hair is... long and boring.

7. Producer Ken Warwick has defended Haley in interviews, saying Simon has been too cruel to her. Ken, on the other hand, says that Sanjaya will not win and seems hell bent on making sure this happens.

6. Sanjaya has fun nicknames like "Sangina". Haley has boring nicknames like "White Bread" because no nickname is boring enough for her.

5. Sanjaya is fun and crazy when he moves around awkwardly on stage. The only reason his performance this week wasn't as awkward was because he was sitting. Haley is never fun, she inspires bathroom breaks.

4. Sanjaya defies gender stereotypes much better than Haley.

3. When Sanjaya is bad, he's oh so bad, and it inspires talk for weeks. When Haley is bad, people just kind of get mildly annoyed and then go back to their bathroom breaks.

2. Sanjaya inspires crowds of little girls to cry as he fumbles around the stage. This produces hilarious results, such as when that crying girl was in the audience. Haley only inspires straight men and lesbians to turn off the TV and play with themselves, which is not hilarious.

1. Sanjaya spouts of hilarious catchphrases like "Welcome to the Universe of Sanjaya" and "You're just jealous because you can't pull it off." Haley speaks sometimes... I think.

__________________________

KS AI Fan NOT

April 11, 2007 - 10:36am

I completely agree.....VOTE for Sanjaya!!! Haley doesn't deserve any backing. She's too boring to even be considered.

Fabiansparkle

April 11, 2007 - 10:49am

I think they are cutting his hair shorter and shorter each week on purpose. It starts to limit the "looks" he can have. They should have woven his beautiful locks into a weave for Melinda. This is TPTB at AI, once again, looking for a way, any way to draw attention AWAY from him and onto the other, more boring contestants. Hayley is just too boring. She makes me dizzy with all the runway walking during her performance. I think she should rock a full length scuba suit next week. What idiot savant stylist thought that the "Kitty, from That 70's Show" hairdoo was a good idea? Really...bleck. I want to see Sanjaya rock the Kat McPhee extensions next week and sing...Thank God I'm A Country Boy! Fabs

aadsummers

April 11, 2007 - 10:54am

Sanjaya is my hero. I wish I could vote multiple times, but I am flat broke and in college. Can someone else make up those votes for me?

RJinLA

April 11, 2007 - 10:56am

I've invested so much time (not to mention sore fingers from dialing) that I can't imagine backing someone else. __________________________

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO what a ride!"

RJinLA

April 11, 2007 - 10:57am

It dosen't cost anything to call the toll-free number __________________________

80Amps

April 11, 2007 - 11:02am

Even if you do appreciate the comical value of a performance, you should vote for Melinda Doolittle if you have any appreciation for music at all. The musical value of her performances out weighs the comical value of Sanjaya BY FAR. Haley doesn’t have much of either, but she does have some nice legs!! I can get that any time of the day at my local gentleman’s club though.

Vihn

April 11, 2007 - 11:17am

"musical value" shouldn't really be used in context with American Idol. Unless we are speaking of the awesomely bad musical value of a Sanjaya performance! __________________________

"[VFTW is] the most solid justification to enjoy the internet"

-David Letterman

melanieh1975

April 11, 2007 - 11:20am

Haley does not suck in a funny way. She just sucks! She is boring as hell and cannot hold a tune. Not to mention the fact that she knows that the only thing she has going for her is the fact that all the other females on the show are over-weight. The fact that she is not fat does not make me long to see her again and again....this, initself, is not interesting or entertaining. If I wanna see a female that is not hideously fat sing bad I will sing in the mirror and get my fix

melanieh1975

April 11, 2007 - 11:23am

It is a TOLL FREE number. That means it is free to call and vote.

cry_me_ariver

April 11, 2007 - 11:24am

You know you're boring as all get out when you look like that and even *I* have a hard time staying awake during your performance. Seriously, the only value Haley has - and trust me I seriously heart female eye candy - is to make fun of her ever receding hemline on the VFTW boards, and see if we can figure out how much lamination it takes to keep her makeup shining like that. Oh... well I guess I do love Haley's death stares at Simon when he rips into her performances or outright dismisses her viability as a contestant. I'll give her that - those looks are priceless! __________________________

This is almost as big a treasure as when the emperor discovered the formula to great Star Wars dialog... "something something something DARK SIDE, something something something COMPLETE!"