Well, Jordin Sparks' self-titled album has finally been released after months of lackluster single Tattoo struggling at radio. After some well timed payola, the song has finally caught on a bit, just in time for the big album push. Not surprisingly, the album is on track to only sell between 100,000 and 200,000 copies in its first week. What is surprising is that the album actually isn't complete crap. Inconsistent? Yes. But that's what happens when you bring in a slew of big name producers and don't make any connection between any of the songs.

After hearing Tattoo, I was sure there was no way I'd ever like Jordin's album. The song is a horrible clone of Beyonce's Irreplacable without any of the elements that made Irreplacable likeable. And This Is My Now is one of the worst coronation songs in the history of Idol. How can a 17 year old talk about how she has overcome her past? What past? The time Joey pulled her pigtails in 1st grade?

But as I mentioned, the big surprise is that a few of the songs are very catchy. Sure, it's a bubblegum pop record, but you have to analyze it with that in mind. Jordin is never going to make relevant music like many of her peers. Jordin's duet with Chris Brown, No Air is actually listenable (even if Chris was probably forced into doing it by the record label he shares with Jordin). A few other songs that are actually guilty pleasures are the trippy See My Side and the Coldplay Clocks clone Now You Tell Me.

The bad news though is that when Jordin strikes out, the results are horrendous. God Loves Ugly is a terribly schlocky ballad that reeks of beauty pageants. Permanent Monday is full of so many bad glory note moments that it evokes the feel of a "big ballad" theme week gone wrong from her time on Idol. And Wal-Mart bonus track Worth the Wait is laughable. Someone needs to tell today's pop stars to not write songs about how they won't lose their virginity soon because they will surely look foolish when they break their promises. The aforementioned Now and Tattoo are of course the worst songs on the entire album. Unfortunately that will keep listeners away from giving the album's better songs a chance.

Most of the songs I haven't mentioned fall into mediocre territory. None will be hits. None will do anything worthwhile for Sparks. And she even sounds bored on most of them. Just For the Record, for example, meanders pointlessly through a snoozefest chorus and verse that encourage track skipping. Young and in Love tries to ignite Sparks with a tinge of Avril Lavigne's poser spunk, but the flame never catches. And none of Jordin's tweenage MySpace fans are going to place tepid Next To You on their profiles.

Jordin Sparks' album is wildly inconsistent, yes, but it shows ahem... sparks... of promise. Maybe if Jordin is wise beyond her Oh-my-God-only-17 years, she might parlay this album's finer moments into a better sophomore effort. And seriously, sweetheart, you're not doing yourself any favors by promoting Tattoo. Sit down with your label pronto and get a new single out. You'll thank me later.

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