The Lies of Carly Smithson

Posted by thefunnystone on March 11th, 2008 at 1:51 PM
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Carly Smithson is a liar. And a really bad one at that. Ever since we broke the story that she would be on the show this year, we knew something was off with her. And it seems that it's not just something, it's everything. The girl can barely keep her lies straight. Just in case you feel bad for her lame sob stories or feel compelled to vote for her, step away from the telephone. Read on and find out how absolutely nothing said by this lying plant, who only got on the show due to working with Randy Jackson years ago at MCA records, is the truth. We'll also keep this updated with new lies as Carly weaves a tangled web of lame falsities.

(Last Updated on 3/11/08)

 

LIE #1: "My name is Carly Smithson."

No, it's not. Your name is Carly Hennessy. Sure, Carly married Todd Smithson 2 years ago. But she oh so conveniently changed her name only a few months ago for the show. When JoesPlace revealed spoilers for this season, Carly's name was revealed as Carly Hennessy, because that's how she was known in Hollywood. She was even playing shows as late as November of last year under her maiden name. So why suddenly change it? Because, of course, she was trying to hide her past. Like everything else she does though, Carly did it incredibly poorly.

 

LIE #2: "My record company imploded."

Carly was a colossal flop in 2001. Her record "Ultimate High" tanked miserably. Even in 2002, when anyone with common sense knew that no one wanted to buy Carly's failed album, MCA Records still tried to promote Carly in Europe unsuccessfully. MCA merged with Geffen Records in 2003. Successful and talented artists like Mary J. Blige, Common, Blink-182, and the Roots made an easy transition over to the new label. So where did Carly go? She was dumped long before the merger in 2002. So her record company never imploded, and even if id had, the company merged and dissolved a full year after Carly was given the old heave-ho. Artists on Geffen still recorded successful albums. Carly even claims on the official Idol site that her friends would be shocked to learn she owns a Blink-182 album. So Carly even knows some bands survived the so-called implosion that never existed.

 

LIE #3: "I made a record, but I never did stage performances at all."

Carly told Zap2It that she may have had a record deal, but she never performed on the stage, so she's at a disadvantage too. This is one of the stupidest lies she's ever told, as she has a ton of stage experience. First, she toured in Les Miserables as one of the leads when she was 9. She performed at the WKRZ 20th Anniversary Show, then a series of 5 shows around the country to promote her horrible single, at a concert in 2002 for over 100,000 people in Dublin, even still performing as late as 2006 and 2007. And those are just the ones we can find proof of. This lie makes even less sense than the others!

 

 

LIE #4: "We can pick any song we want on American Idol."

In the semifinals, this year the contestants were limited to choosing from a list of about 50 songs each week, which is why they all chose such idiotic songs. And Garrett Haley mentioned that the contestants are asked to pick 3 songs from the list and then are at the mercy of the producers deciding which they can sing. So to counteract this, Carly says in an Entertainment Weekly interview: “They're all saying online that we have a list to pick from. I believe we had a list in Hollywood week, and it was a big list; we had a lot of songs to choose from. But since the live shows have started, we get to choose whatever we like, which is great.” Why are we saying this online? Because Garett acknowledged it, and Nigel Lythgoe, the executive producer of Idol, even acknowledged it here. Silly Carly can’t even keep up the lie, completely contradicting the other contestants in the interview who say they have to pick from a list. It doesn’t even benefit her to make this up, as she looks foolish contradicting the producer.

 

LIE #5: "My record failed because of 9/11."

As if her lies weren’t ridiculous enough, Carly has the audacity to blame her failure on the terrorist attacks of 9/11. “It was gaining traction, she said, but then 9/11 happened and “nobody was interested in shopping a new record.” Sure, 9/11 killed your record. “I’m Gonna Blow Your Mind” was released as a single in early 2001. It failed due to because no one wanted to hear an 18 year old sing about blow jobs. Then, 9/11 happened, and “Beautiful You” was offered up as the second single in November 2001. So the record company didn’t ditch her at all. In fact, they released a second song, shortly after 9/11 to try to help promote her. Her album was then released on November 13, 2001, a full 2 months after 9/11, and it still didn’t sell. As a comparison, crappy rockers Nickelback actually released their album on 9/11. Their music is worse than Carly’s, yet it sold relatively well, and they had a #1 hit by the end of the year with “How You Remind Me.” Looks like 9/11 didn’t hurt that new artist’s career.

 

LIE #6: "This is my second chance."

It's more like her 500th chance. This girl has been trying to become famous since she was little. Her mom was even a celebrity. "[My mom] was one of Ireland's top models so when I was born all the photographers wanted to take pictures of me. I grew up and got to go to work with her so all the photographers knew me. Auditions would come for different advertisements and the photographers would say, "Oh, we'll just use Carly." It was insane; I'd be on four commercials at a time around Dublin. So I was very well known growing up." Chance one. Singing in Les Miserables and having a record come out at age 9. Chance two. Her album "Ultimate High". Chance three. Trying out for American Idol two seasons ago. Chance four. Trying out again. Chance five. How many chances does someone get? No one wanted to hear her the last four times, why should chance five be any different?

 

So you see, Carly is not just a Sanjaya-hating loser. She's a liar. A really big one. If you feel compelled to vote for her, don't bother. I'm sure she's blowing Nigel Lythgoe's "mind" as we speak and she's in no danger of leaving the competition. But one day, this plant will wilt again, as history shows it always has, and it will be pretty funny to see the reactions. We'll see what kind of lies Carly will come up with then!

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all_sabrina
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 3:25pm
Joined: 16 Mar 2007

Even we have standards.

Irish need not apply.

TheDancingCookie
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 3:49pm
Joined: 11 Apr 2007

Keep digging that hole Carly, later on we can use it to bury your career once and for all.

There is nothing I like about this girl, I hate it all: from her little rat teeth to her big ugly tattoo to her boring voice, from her brown-nosing of the producers to her Sanjaya-bashing and her X-factor-less personality.

Thank god she won't win.

She won't win, will she? :-(

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runuts251
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 3:57pm
Joined: 07 Jun 2006

Unvelievable. That is so ridiculous. I hope her ass hurts from all the times I kicked her to the moon yesterday. SHe must go down, and Michael Johns too.

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insaneinthesfv
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 3:58pm
Joined: 01 Feb 2007

She's unlikable because she's cold as ice when she performs. She sang "I Drove All Night" like a robot. It wasn't so much "Woke you from your sleep/to make love to you" as it was "I reached under the covers and gave you a cold, detached hand job".

Her lies are fast catching up with her. She's just another affected ex-pageant performing veal, all grown up. I'm bored to tears with the whole thing already. Just don't vote for Carly.

Great article, as usual, Dave!  

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barcode
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 4:09pm
Joined: 23 Feb 2008

Dave,

can you include links to your quotes? It helps support your argument that she is lying and that we're not just out to get her and making stuff up.

BTW, I read this on mtv today: Randy Jackson bemoaning the focus on contestants' former record deals. The hypocrisy of Jackson and lack of followup from the reporter irks me to no end. It's not *JUST* that they had a record deal, dawg, it's that she was working for you and you were promoting it. Therefore, everytime you open your mouth defending or praising this person has to be taken with a grain of salt!

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1583098/20080310/abdul_paula.jhtml

Quoted text below:
-----
Come to think of it, that would be pretty awesome. And as for Jackson, well, he doesn't think the top 12 really have much of anything left to prove. In fact, if he had his way, the one thing he would change is viewers' constant focus on the fact that some of the remaining contestants — like, ahem, Smithson and Kristy Lee Cook — were signed to major-label deals before appearing on "Idol." To him, none of that really matters.

"The thing is, they weren't successful [before], therefore they need this show. The rules of the show have always said you can't currently be signed to a recording contract, so you could've had 12 failed deals, and obviously you only need 'Idol' if those deals didn't work out," he said. "It's the wrong kind of way to look at it. It's a singing competition. It's open to one and all between the ages of 16 and 28. Come on down. Do your thing. Every year, we've run into people who were in a boy group or a girl group or whatever. So the rules have never veered from where they started."

ewgs
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 5:05pm
Joined: 27 Feb 2008

Thanks for posting this. Here at the Ewgs blog, we are not fans of Carly, and this list of lies gives us even more reason to hate her.

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ewgs
www.xanga.com/ewgs
all about idol.

yoshirox10
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 5:09pm
Joined: 24 Feb 2008

i MADE A COVER FOR MY SCHOOL BINDER AND IT SAYS:

"GO HOME CARLY" then it has two plant versions and the image doctored to make that.

Then it says "AND TAKE YOUR INEXPLICABALLY BLUE TONGUE WITH YOU!" And I have a screenshot with her blue tongue being featured on The Soup after Hollywood Week.

So GO HOME CARLY AND TAKE YOUR INEXPLICABALLY BLUE TONGUE WITH YOU.

donuteyes
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 5:30pm
Joined: 06 Mar 2008

i can't believe people are taking all of this that seriously.

crazytom
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 5:34pm
Joined: 22 Mar 2007

Excellent recap. It feels so good to be able to shout an informed "Bitch!" at the TV.

Not only is she a liar, she's retarded. In this article from Teen Music.com (copyright Aug 31, 2001 ... that would be prior to 9/11), she met Mick Jagger and had no freaking clue who he was. Even better, she was pissed because she wanted to meet Steven Tyler of Aerosmith.

http://www.teenmusic.com/d/5637/1004/carly-hennessy-blowing-americas-mind.html

Hey, didn't Sanjaya get to jam with Joe Perry of Aerosmith? Yeah, I thought so.

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crazytom
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 5:47pm
Joined: 22 Mar 2007

Oh, Oh, Oh, here's an even better whopper!

That’s when she moved to Atlanta with her new boyfriend Todd. “At that point, I really hated the music industry.” Singing “wasn’t my thing anymore” in Atlanta. “I just needed to take a rest, just be normal for a minute, have a normal job.” ...

Carly worked at Buckhead’s Irish bar Fado as a waitress to earn cash. Her husband Todd worked at Sacred Heart Tattoo in Little Five Points. After the MCA debacle, she said she didn’t sing at all in public while in Atlanta. Strange coincidence: “Michael Johns used to sing at Fado Thursday nights,” she said. “We never spoke to each other until Idol.” Because of their name changes, she didn’t make the connection until they talked in the top 24. “I just wrote his name [Michael Lee at the time] on the chalkbaord every Thursday.” She said she loved Fado. “It was a great spot. It was very sad when we had to leave to come to California for music reasons.”

Interesting that Michael Johns also posed as an Irish singer, but check out the last sentence again ... "It was very sad when we had to leave to come to California for music reasons.”

She isn't singing anymore, her record company imploded, her husband isn't a musician ... WHAT MUSIC REASONS??!!! Liar!

http://www.accessatlanta.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/accessatlanta/idol/entries/2008/02/18/218_carly_smith.html

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