The Lies of Carly Smithson

Posted by thefunnystone on March 11th, 2008 at 1:51 PM
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Carly Smithson is a liar. And a really bad one at that. Ever since we broke the story that she would be on the show this year, we knew something was off with her. And it seems that it's not just something, it's everything. The girl can barely keep her lies straight. Just in case you feel bad for her lame sob stories or feel compelled to vote for her, step away from the telephone. Read on and find out how absolutely nothing said by this lying plant, who only got on the show due to working with Randy Jackson years ago at MCA records, is the truth. We'll also keep this updated with new lies as Carly weaves a tangled web of lame falsities.

(Last Updated on 3/11/08)

 

LIE #1: "My name is Carly Smithson."

No, it's not. Your name is Carly Hennessy. Sure, Carly married Todd Smithson 2 years ago. But she oh so conveniently changed her name only a few months ago for the show. When JoesPlace revealed spoilers for this season, Carly's name was revealed as Carly Hennessy, because that's how she was known in Hollywood. She was even playing shows as late as November of last year under her maiden name. So why suddenly change it? Because, of course, she was trying to hide her past. Like everything else she does though, Carly did it incredibly poorly.

 

LIE #2: "My record company imploded."

Carly was a colossal flop in 2001. Her record "Ultimate High" tanked miserably. Even in 2002, when anyone with common sense knew that no one wanted to buy Carly's failed album, MCA Records still tried to promote Carly in Europe unsuccessfully. MCA merged with Geffen Records in 2003. Successful and talented artists like Mary J. Blige, Common, Blink-182, and the Roots made an easy transition over to the new label. So where did Carly go? She was dumped long before the merger in 2002. So her record company never imploded, and even if id had, the company merged and dissolved a full year after Carly was given the old heave-ho. Artists on Geffen still recorded successful albums. Carly even claims on the official Idol site that her friends would be shocked to learn she owns a Blink-182 album. So Carly even knows some bands survived the so-called implosion that never existed.

 

LIE #3: "I made a record, but I never did stage performances at all."

Carly told Zap2It that she may have had a record deal, but she never performed on the stage, so she's at a disadvantage too. This is one of the stupidest lies she's ever told, as she has a ton of stage experience. First, she toured in Les Miserables as one of the leads when she was 9. She performed at the WKRZ 20th Anniversary Show, then a series of 5 shows around the country to promote her horrible single, at a concert in 2002 for over 100,000 people in Dublin, even still performing as late as 2006 and 2007. And those are just the ones we can find proof of. This lie makes even less sense than the others!

 

 

LIE #4: "We can pick any song we want on American Idol."

In the semifinals, this year the contestants were limited to choosing from a list of about 50 songs each week, which is why they all chose such idiotic songs. And Garrett Haley mentioned that the contestants are asked to pick 3 songs from the list and then are at the mercy of the producers deciding which they can sing. So to counteract this, Carly says in an Entertainment Weekly interview: “They're all saying online that we have a list to pick from. I believe we had a list in Hollywood week, and it was a big list; we had a lot of songs to choose from. But since the live shows have started, we get to choose whatever we like, which is great.” Why are we saying this online? Because Garett acknowledged it, and Nigel Lythgoe, the executive producer of Idol, even acknowledged it here. Silly Carly can’t even keep up the lie, completely contradicting the other contestants in the interview who say they have to pick from a list. It doesn’t even benefit her to make this up, as she looks foolish contradicting the producer.

 

LIE #5: "My record failed because of 9/11."

As if her lies weren’t ridiculous enough, Carly has the audacity to blame her failure on the terrorist attacks of 9/11. “It was gaining traction, she said, but then 9/11 happened and “nobody was interested in shopping a new record.” Sure, 9/11 killed your record. “I’m Gonna Blow Your Mind” was released as a single in early 2001. It failed due to because no one wanted to hear an 18 year old sing about blow jobs. Then, 9/11 happened, and “Beautiful You” was offered up as the second single in November 2001. So the record company didn’t ditch her at all. In fact, they released a second song, shortly after 9/11 to try to help promote her. Her album was then released on November 13, 2001, a full 2 months after 9/11, and it still didn’t sell. As a comparison, crappy rockers Nickelback actually released their album on 9/11. Their music is worse than Carly’s, yet it sold relatively well, and they had a #1 hit by the end of the year with “How You Remind Me.” Looks like 9/11 didn’t hurt that new artist’s career.

 

LIE #6: "This is my second chance."

It's more like her 500th chance. This girl has been trying to become famous since she was little. Her mom was even a celebrity. "[My mom] was one of Ireland's top models so when I was born all the photographers wanted to take pictures of me. I grew up and got to go to work with her so all the photographers knew me. Auditions would come for different advertisements and the photographers would say, "Oh, we'll just use Carly." It was insane; I'd be on four commercials at a time around Dublin. So I was very well known growing up." Chance one. Singing in Les Miserables and having a record come out at age 9. Chance two. Her album "Ultimate High". Chance three. Trying out for American Idol two seasons ago. Chance four. Trying out again. Chance five. How many chances does someone get? No one wanted to hear her the last four times, why should chance five be any different?

 

So you see, Carly is not just a Sanjaya-hating loser. She's a liar. A really big one. If you feel compelled to vote for her, don't bother. I'm sure she's blowing Nigel Lythgoe's "mind" as we speak and she's in no danger of leaving the competition. But one day, this plant will wilt again, as history shows it always has, and it will be pretty funny to see the reactions. We'll see what kind of lies Carly will come up with then!

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MrsKristaBoogie
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 8:48pm
Joined: 07 Mar 2008

Those are the creepiest pictures ever. Maybe creepier than Carly herself in the flesh!

Leelee.
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 9:26pm
Joined: 05 Apr 2007

It's all Nigel or whoever is responsible on AI's fault. It's an enormous lie that she's even allowed in this "competition". And when your entire career and existence is based on lies, you won't stop.

And I wish that all songs were about attractive 18 year olds giving/receiving sex acts.

kersur229
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 9:35pm
Joined: 31 Mar 2007

Great job, Dave..well done!

Sparklecoogs
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 9:47pm
Joined: 11 Mar 2008

First off, your site cracks me up. It's great fun, and a glowing example of freedom of the press. Good thing this isn't China. But let me play devil's advocate with regard to your Carly story.

Lie #1: If she calls herself Carly Smithson, for whatever reason, so be it. It doesn't matter if she changed her preference five minutes ago or last year. Her name, her decision. It's silly to say she does it to hide her past, since that's an opinion that seems based in anger. And even if that is the reason, who cares?

Lie #2: It seems like you got her on this one. MCA spent a lot of money on Carly. The music just didn't sell. Why she blamed it on a label implosion is unclear, but it could just be sour grapes. Seems like a little white lie to me.

Lie #3: She clearly has stage experience, so I'm not sure what she was thinking here. Still, I wouldn't count the "Les Miserables" gig. No need to compare apples and oranges for the purposes of this discussion, especially when there are plenty of apples in the basket already.

Lie #4: What she said about choosing whatever song they want is unclear and could very easily be misinterpreted, which is a more likely explanation than saying she lied, especially since she seemed to be in the middle of a group interview and nobody objected to what she said. She very easily could have meant they get to pick whatever they want from the list they're given.

Lie #5: Saying her label didn't feel like shopping a record is just her opinion, not a lie. It may seem to outside eyes like MCA was trying to shop the record, but Carly's still entitled to feel they weren't. After all, you could fill entire countries with the artists who've felt, whether correct or not, that their label abandoned them.

Lie #6: Saying this is her second chance is certainly not a lie. She obviously means the MCA deal was her first chance to become a popular recording artist, and "Idol" is her second. Yes, there have been other chances for her to do other things with her life, but it's quite clear what she means here.

Most people would probably agree Carly has serious pipes. Whether you like her or not is another story. You clearly don't like her, which is fine. But if I were you, I'd stick to the two points out of six that seem to have the most meat on their bones. Her label didn't implode, and she seems to have plenty of stage experience. Ditch your other arguments and hammer her on these two points.

Again, just playing devil's advocate. Keep up the highly entertaining site. And please...drop Amanda in favor of Kristy. For Zeus' sake, if I even think of what she did to that great Beatles song, I want to cry. Normally I would agree that one bad performance doesn't outweigh a body of work. Not this time. What she did was one of the five worst abominations in "Idol" history, though nothing will ever be more hideous than what Camile Velasco did to "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" in season 3.

Neo_Knot
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 9:49pm
Joined: 05 Mar 2008

Hey Dave,

Great Commentary!

Hopefully it will bring those viewers on the fence down on our side.

Anyway, I truly loved Randy J's comment:

""The thing is, they weren't successful [before], therefore they need this show. The rules of the show have always said you can't currently be signed to a recording contract, so you could've had 12 failed deals, and obviously you only need 'Idol' if those deals didn't work out," he said. "It's the wrong kind of way to look at it. It's a singing competition. It's open to one and all between the ages of 16 and 28. Come on down. Do your thing. Every year, we've run into people who were in a boy group or a girl group or whatever. So the rules have never veered from where they started."

Perhaps for the Tenth Anniversary of American Idol, they can have a competition with all the failed American Idols and runner-ups over the previous 9 years!

How many don't have recording contracts any longer? How many are in danger of losing their recording contracts?

What about Taylor Hicks? Kat McPhee? Reuben S.? How many American Idol top twelvers have been truly successful, and I mean TRULY SUCCESSFUL over a long period?

Kelly Clarkson of course.
Carrie Underwood of course.
Reuben was, but his last albums have tanked.
Fantasia - her albums are great but sales have decreased.
Clay Aiken - who?
Justin Guarini and the other Idol commentators - they'll be around as long as Idol is around. But once Idol goes away, they'll fade away.

Even last season's Jordin and Blake's record sales have been oh so disappointing. So how long will they stay under contract if they can't even sell a million records - or in Blake's case, a half million records?

So, locgically according to the rules, all the failed American Idols can come back if they don't have recording contracts - current recording contracts, right?

So Nigel and Randy needs to give them all a boost, don't they - especially since AI is supposed to be a launching ground to Superstardom, not Superstarfailure.

As Randy says: "The thing is, they weren't successful [before], therefore they need this show."

Ken

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"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance" George B. Shaw

Rebel
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 10:11pm
Joined: 13 May 2007

"But one day, this plant will wilt again, ... We'll see what kind of lies Carly will come up with then!"

I bet she blames you Dave. "there was this mean website, that told all kinds of lies about me, and made people hate me..."

Great story Dave.

While I agree with the previous poster who said that it is her business to change her last name, it seems very suspicious when you do it just before going on a national TV show. Especially when you know that people look into your past, and that past includes performing under the old last name.

Freebird007
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 10:26pm
Joined: 09 Mar 2008

Dave, you are a true genious!! Your hard detective work is paying off for all of us and im so grateful for your efforts!!you called it right with outing this skanky bitch.

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Julesb2183
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 10:28pm
Joined: 06 Jan 2008

I don't think she's lying about the song choices. They probably are allowing her to sing whatever she wants. (giving her first dibs, working hard to get a song cleared.)

Julesb2183
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 10:39pm
Joined: 06 Jan 2008

The thing is she doesn't understand that being AI doesn't guarantee you anything. Even if you are shoved down the publics' throats week after week. They could give her a contract and she could fail just as badly as last time. She doesn't get that.

I think she is a good singer, but lacks in performance/personality department. She definitely didn't have a "Kelly Clarkson" moment tonight, though, like Simon said. She's a poor man's Kelly.

I bet TPTB were worried about this blowing up that they told her to lie about what happened, just so that they could say that they have nothing to hide and be done with it.

Julesb2183
Posted: March 11, 2008 - 10:44pm
Joined: 06 Jan 2008

She probably think it imploded because she wasn't on it anymore. . . .