The Lies of Carly Smithson

Posted by thefunnystone on March 11th, 2008 at 1:51 PM
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Carly Smithson is a liar. And a really bad one at that. Ever since we broke the story that she would be on the show this year, we knew something was off with her. And it seems that it's not just something, it's everything. The girl can barely keep her lies straight. Just in case you feel bad for her lame sob stories or feel compelled to vote for her, step away from the telephone. Read on and find out how absolutely nothing said by this lying plant, who only got on the show due to working with Randy Jackson years ago at MCA records, is the truth. We'll also keep this updated with new lies as Carly weaves a tangled web of lame falsities.

(Last Updated on 3/11/08)

 

LIE #1: "My name is Carly Smithson."

No, it's not. Your name is Carly Hennessy. Sure, Carly married Todd Smithson 2 years ago. But she oh so conveniently changed her name only a few months ago for the show. When JoesPlace revealed spoilers for this season, Carly's name was revealed as Carly Hennessy, because that's how she was known in Hollywood. She was even playing shows as late as November of last year under her maiden name. So why suddenly change it? Because, of course, she was trying to hide her past. Like everything else she does though, Carly did it incredibly poorly.

 

LIE #2: "My record company imploded."

Carly was a colossal flop in 2001. Her record "Ultimate High" tanked miserably. Even in 2002, when anyone with common sense knew that no one wanted to buy Carly's failed album, MCA Records still tried to promote Carly in Europe unsuccessfully. MCA merged with Geffen Records in 2003. Successful and talented artists like Mary J. Blige, Common, Blink-182, and the Roots made an easy transition over to the new label. So where did Carly go? She was dumped long before the merger in 2002. So her record company never imploded, and even if id had, the company merged and dissolved a full year after Carly was given the old heave-ho. Artists on Geffen still recorded successful albums. Carly even claims on the official Idol site that her friends would be shocked to learn she owns a Blink-182 album. So Carly even knows some bands survived the so-called implosion that never existed.

 

LIE #3: "I made a record, but I never did stage performances at all."

Carly told Zap2It that she may have had a record deal, but she never performed on the stage, so she's at a disadvantage too. This is one of the stupidest lies she's ever told, as she has a ton of stage experience. First, she toured in Les Miserables as one of the leads when she was 9. She performed at the WKRZ 20th Anniversary Show, then a series of 5 shows around the country to promote her horrible single, at a concert in 2002 for over 100,000 people in Dublin, even still performing as late as 2006 and 2007. And those are just the ones we can find proof of. This lie makes even less sense than the others!

 

 

LIE #4: "We can pick any song we want on American Idol."

In the semifinals, this year the contestants were limited to choosing from a list of about 50 songs each week, which is why they all chose such idiotic songs. And Garrett Haley mentioned that the contestants are asked to pick 3 songs from the list and then are at the mercy of the producers deciding which they can sing. So to counteract this, Carly says in an Entertainment Weekly interview: “They're all saying online that we have a list to pick from. I believe we had a list in Hollywood week, and it was a big list; we had a lot of songs to choose from. But since the live shows have started, we get to choose whatever we like, which is great.” Why are we saying this online? Because Garett acknowledged it, and Nigel Lythgoe, the executive producer of Idol, even acknowledged it here. Silly Carly can’t even keep up the lie, completely contradicting the other contestants in the interview who say they have to pick from a list. It doesn’t even benefit her to make this up, as she looks foolish contradicting the producer.

 

LIE #5: "My record failed because of 9/11."

As if her lies weren’t ridiculous enough, Carly has the audacity to blame her failure on the terrorist attacks of 9/11. “It was gaining traction, she said, but then 9/11 happened and “nobody was interested in shopping a new record.” Sure, 9/11 killed your record. “I’m Gonna Blow Your Mind” was released as a single in early 2001. It failed due to because no one wanted to hear an 18 year old sing about blow jobs. Then, 9/11 happened, and “Beautiful You” was offered up as the second single in November 2001. So the record company didn’t ditch her at all. In fact, they released a second song, shortly after 9/11 to try to help promote her. Her album was then released on November 13, 2001, a full 2 months after 9/11, and it still didn’t sell. As a comparison, crappy rockers Nickelback actually released their album on 9/11. Their music is worse than Carly’s, yet it sold relatively well, and they had a #1 hit by the end of the year with “How You Remind Me.” Looks like 9/11 didn’t hurt that new artist’s career.

 

LIE #6: "This is my second chance."

It's more like her 500th chance. This girl has been trying to become famous since she was little. Her mom was even a celebrity. "[My mom] was one of Ireland's top models so when I was born all the photographers wanted to take pictures of me. I grew up and got to go to work with her so all the photographers knew me. Auditions would come for different advertisements and the photographers would say, "Oh, we'll just use Carly." It was insane; I'd be on four commercials at a time around Dublin. So I was very well known growing up." Chance one. Singing in Les Miserables and having a record come out at age 9. Chance two. Her album "Ultimate High". Chance three. Trying out for American Idol two seasons ago. Chance four. Trying out again. Chance five. How many chances does someone get? No one wanted to hear her the last four times, why should chance five be any different?

 

So you see, Carly is not just a Sanjaya-hating loser. She's a liar. A really big one. If you feel compelled to vote for her, don't bother. I'm sure she's blowing Nigel Lythgoe's "mind" as we speak and she's in no danger of leaving the competition. But one day, this plant will wilt again, as history shows it always has, and it will be pretty funny to see the reactions. We'll see what kind of lies Carly will come up with then!

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Beefarino
Posted: March 14, 2008 - 4:04pm
Joined: 14 Mar 2008

Her husband is a freak!

I love the way whenever they show him in the audience, they don't turn on the camera light. So obvious they're trying to downplay the fact that he is a circus freak.

Tattos and gold teeth? That ain't normal. Anyone want to bet she dumps him the minute she gets a new record deal?

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Beefarino

VoteOffThePlant
Posted: March 15, 2008 - 5:12am
Joined: 12 Mar 2008

Correct, NikkiM1976 (2 posts back).

I had a nightmare last night, my only AI dream ever, in fact it woke me up. It was just a memory, but a bad one. If I could go back in time and kill my eyes with a red hot poker before seeing it, I would, but it's too late to do that now, because I couldn't poke out the memory. Here is what I nightmared/remembered:

Carly, after Simon's judging praise, mouthing "I Love You!" It was horrible. A phony saying a phony I Love You to a phony. The plant shouldn't be in a signing competition. Try acting, Carly. You've even got the fake tears down.

I can see it ... in the not too distant past ... the 4 "Bigs" on the show ... Seacreast the Metrosexual. Simon Fuller the Silent Partner, Simon Cowell the "Just 1 of 3 'equal', right" Judges Partner, and Randy. And yes Nigel getting Cowell his coffee/tea in the background but fifth legs don't count. And what I see is Randy whining ... "What about me-e-e-e!? What about me-e-e-e guys? When do I get a piece of this action?" "Well," says one of the Simons, "When you were a Producer at that whatziz label, did you meet anyone with at least half-talent we could plant on the show? We'll throw you a bone, Dawg. But just this once mind you. Kiss my ring." And Randy's like "Well, ....not really, wait ... there WAS this Irish girl ..."

And the rest is infamy.

justaguest1
Posted: March 15, 2008 - 10:20am
Joined: 15 Mar 2008

For the longest time I could not figure out who she reminds
me of. I finally figured it out. When she has a lot of makeup
on she reminds me of Boy George.

elvenjewel
Posted: March 17, 2008 - 12:57am
Joined: 29 Mar 2007

Oh, THAT'S the video o_o made. Excellent work!

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Simon says he always refers to a fortune cookie and says the moth who finds the melon finds the cornflake always finds the melon and one of you didn't pick the right fortune. — Paula Abdul

tsx500
Posted: March 18, 2008 - 10:16pm
Joined: 18 Mar 2008

Carly rocks. the next Kelly Clarkson. maybe even Celine.

tsx500
Posted: March 18, 2008 - 10:18pm
Joined: 18 Mar 2008

does anyone out there know , how tall is ryan seacrest

buddoll
Posted: March 19, 2008 - 10:25am
Joined: 19 Mar 2008

I've been watching the show for some time now, and at first, I didn't like what was going on with this site, but I now understand it. I have noticed the lies of Carly "Whatever- her-name-is", and each week, she lies more and more. I'm beginning to think it must be a mental condition. (it is possible because something isn't right!)

All I can say is, it's not just who you know, but who you blow!

JeroLu
Posted: March 20, 2008 - 10:00pm
Joined: 20 Mar 2008

Check this out -

http://www.mcarecords.com/artistMain.asp?artistid=186

Need we say more?????

VoteOffThePlant
Posted: March 21, 2008 - 5:42am
Joined: 12 Mar 2008

Thanks JeroLu. KJust lost my breakfast. Just kidding. But that is a funny link. From the link:

Carly's Mom writes (prepare to vomit, you have been warned)...

"Most talented singer! Where is she now!?
Hi, I got Carly's album when it came out. It is spectacular. It is so RAW and beautiful. My favorite songs are all of them, especially "What I've Found" and "No One's Safe From Goodbye." She is undeniable talent. Where are you now Carly? Please respond. I hope to see you live on tour one day. You are SO TALENT. Don't let haters put ya down. You need to SHAKE EM OFF! Carly Hennessy forever!!!

I love her live versions of songs on WIOG! She is an amazing performer." .... CarlyHenneseysNo1Fan

Good lord. Have ye no shame?

butwhatever
Posted: March 21, 2008 - 2:29pm
Joined: 23 Feb 2008

I think Fantasia's work on Broadway counterbalances her lower record sales, especially since she went onstage 4 months after the album's release. That's not much time to both promote the album and learn the show, and she couldn't go on tour in support of the album as many artists do.

Fantasia's second album may not have been the success her first was, but she was a hit on Broadway both critically and commercially, which to my mind meets your benchmark of "TRULY SUCCESSFUL."

BW