The Lies of Carly Smithson

Posted by thefunnystone on March 11th, 2008 at 1:51 PM
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Carly Smithson is a liar. And a really bad one at that. Ever since we broke the story that she would be on the show this year, we knew something was off with her. And it seems that it's not just something, it's everything. The girl can barely keep her lies straight. Just in case you feel bad for her lame sob stories or feel compelled to vote for her, step away from the telephone. Read on and find out how absolutely nothing said by this lying plant, who only got on the show due to working with Randy Jackson years ago at MCA records, is the truth. We'll also keep this updated with new lies as Carly weaves a tangled web of lame falsities.

(Last Updated on 3/11/08)

 

LIE #1: "My name is Carly Smithson."

No, it's not. Your name is Carly Hennessy. Sure, Carly married Todd Smithson 2 years ago. But she oh so conveniently changed her name only a few months ago for the show. When JoesPlace revealed spoilers for this season, Carly's name was revealed as Carly Hennessy, because that's how she was known in Hollywood. She was even playing shows as late as November of last year under her maiden name. So why suddenly change it? Because, of course, she was trying to hide her past. Like everything else she does though, Carly did it incredibly poorly.

 

LIE #2: "My record company imploded."

Carly was a colossal flop in 2001. Her record "Ultimate High" tanked miserably. Even in 2002, when anyone with common sense knew that no one wanted to buy Carly's failed album, MCA Records still tried to promote Carly in Europe unsuccessfully. MCA merged with Geffen Records in 2003. Successful and talented artists like Mary J. Blige, Common, Blink-182, and the Roots made an easy transition over to the new label. So where did Carly go? She was dumped long before the merger in 2002. So her record company never imploded, and even if id had, the company merged and dissolved a full year after Carly was given the old heave-ho. Artists on Geffen still recorded successful albums. Carly even claims on the official Idol site that her friends would be shocked to learn she owns a Blink-182 album. So Carly even knows some bands survived the so-called implosion that never existed.

 

LIE #3: "I made a record, but I never did stage performances at all."

Carly told Zap2It that she may have had a record deal, but she never performed on the stage, so she's at a disadvantage too. This is one of the stupidest lies she's ever told, as she has a ton of stage experience. First, she toured in Les Miserables as one of the leads when she was 9. She performed at the WKRZ 20th Anniversary Show, then a series of 5 shows around the country to promote her horrible single, at a concert in 2002 for over 100,000 people in Dublin, even still performing as late as 2006 and 2007. And those are just the ones we can find proof of. This lie makes even less sense than the others!

 

 

LIE #4: "We can pick any song we want on American Idol."

In the semifinals, this year the contestants were limited to choosing from a list of about 50 songs each week, which is why they all chose such idiotic songs. And Garrett Haley mentioned that the contestants are asked to pick 3 songs from the list and then are at the mercy of the producers deciding which they can sing. So to counteract this, Carly says in an Entertainment Weekly interview: “They're all saying online that we have a list to pick from. I believe we had a list in Hollywood week, and it was a big list; we had a lot of songs to choose from. But since the live shows have started, we get to choose whatever we like, which is great.” Why are we saying this online? Because Garett acknowledged it, and Nigel Lythgoe, the executive producer of Idol, even acknowledged it here. Silly Carly can’t even keep up the lie, completely contradicting the other contestants in the interview who say they have to pick from a list. It doesn’t even benefit her to make this up, as she looks foolish contradicting the producer.

 

LIE #5: "My record failed because of 9/11."

As if her lies weren’t ridiculous enough, Carly has the audacity to blame her failure on the terrorist attacks of 9/11. “It was gaining traction, she said, but then 9/11 happened and “nobody was interested in shopping a new record.” Sure, 9/11 killed your record. “I’m Gonna Blow Your Mind” was released as a single in early 2001. It failed due to because no one wanted to hear an 18 year old sing about blow jobs. Then, 9/11 happened, and “Beautiful You” was offered up as the second single in November 2001. So the record company didn’t ditch her at all. In fact, they released a second song, shortly after 9/11 to try to help promote her. Her album was then released on November 13, 2001, a full 2 months after 9/11, and it still didn’t sell. As a comparison, crappy rockers Nickelback actually released their album on 9/11. Their music is worse than Carly’s, yet it sold relatively well, and they had a #1 hit by the end of the year with “How You Remind Me.” Looks like 9/11 didn’t hurt that new artist’s career.

 

LIE #6: "This is my second chance."

It's more like her 500th chance. This girl has been trying to become famous since she was little. Her mom was even a celebrity. "[My mom] was one of Ireland's top models so when I was born all the photographers wanted to take pictures of me. I grew up and got to go to work with her so all the photographers knew me. Auditions would come for different advertisements and the photographers would say, "Oh, we'll just use Carly." It was insane; I'd be on four commercials at a time around Dublin. So I was very well known growing up." Chance one. Singing in Les Miserables and having a record come out at age 9. Chance two. Her album "Ultimate High". Chance three. Trying out for American Idol two seasons ago. Chance four. Trying out again. Chance five. How many chances does someone get? No one wanted to hear her the last four times, why should chance five be any different?

 

So you see, Carly is not just a Sanjaya-hating loser. She's a liar. A really big one. If you feel compelled to vote for her, don't bother. I'm sure she's blowing Nigel Lythgoe's "mind" as we speak and she's in no danger of leaving the competition. But one day, this plant will wilt again, as history shows it always has, and it will be pretty funny to see the reactions. We'll see what kind of lies Carly will come up with then!

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butwhatever
Posted: March 21, 2008 - 2:31pm
Joined: 23 Feb 2008

"the name on the poser is Carly Hennessy."

Freudian slip of the week !

: ) BW

Neo_Knot
Posted: March 26, 2008 - 12:52pm
Joined: 05 Mar 2008

heyo Funnystone,

You forgot to add Carlydeharpy's lie from group 11 week - the week she sang "Blackbird".

When I heard her response to Simon that her singing "Blackbird" was really about all the contestants being small birds with broken wings learning to fly, to fly high again.

Well, I almost lost it right there.

She's Wicked I say!

Bloody Wicked!

Neo-Ken (stomping on a screeching broken-winged Irish black-bird - hoping to put it out of its obvious misery).

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"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance" George B. Shaw

TheDancingCookie
Posted: March 27, 2008 - 4:15pm
Joined: 11 Apr 2007

It's so funny when they 'show' him - the producers are clearly terrified of how middle America will react to him. I don't know why they haven't had Carly Plantson cover up her own tattoos. I guess that's coming...

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Playing the role of my avatar today will be a kitten.

yoduh
Posted: April 24, 2008 - 9:43am
Joined: 24 Apr 2008

why do you even care? seems like a lot of wasted energy to write all this hub bub about something as insignificant as a singing popularity contest.

yueyouko
Posted: April 24, 2008 - 8:33pm
Joined: 23 Apr 2008

i don't think the changing name thing is a big deal. so what if she wants to change her name. this is a funny article after all. it's kinda entertaining.

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don't think twice the first time you don't get a second time.

raw
Posted: April 24, 2008 - 11:02pm
Joined: 24 Apr 2008

Why are you guys being so nasty to her? Ok, so she's not 100% an angel. But she's qualified to be in American Idol, she's fixed her papers and they already spoke about her experiences and failures. Are you guys THAT perfect? Everyone makes mistakes and everyone's trying to reach for the stars. Is there a crime in trying? Where talent's concerned there are some people (like Jason Castro) who shouldn't be in the competition because he sucks big time, period. I'd rather listen to Sanjaya for a whole month.

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Raw

Habs_fan1160
Posted: June 12, 2008 - 1:32pm
Joined: 12 Jun 2008

I just stumbled across this website and felt compelled to reply.
Here's a guy who obviously has way too much time on his hands to sit and watch all the Idol's, read all the interviews and on top of this make this stupid article about it.

Who cares if she lies? Who doesn't? This goes from celebrities, government, the royal family, average joe's etc., etc.

I was reading a few posts down some "Tommy" guy talking about her having a good voice but he can't watch her because of her teeth and tattoo and she's "chunky". Since when does that have anything to do with good music? There are plenty people out there who aren't good looking, but produce amazing music. If you're looking for a girl to get off to on Idol, that's sad.
A tattoo, teeth or someone's weight doesn't determine their level of talent.

I said my piece, I guess I'm still in shock that someone has this much time on their hands, or actually cares enough about something so lame to write a whole article on it.

thefunnystone
Posted: June 18, 2008 - 9:04am
Joined: 20 May 2006

So if it's lame to spend time on this site, how much lamer is it to spend time on it if you don't like it? You are the lamest of the lame, my lame friend. L A M E