Clive Davis Kicked Out Again
Posted by thefunnystone on April 18, 2008 - 9:27pm
Call it Kelly Clarkson's revenge. This week, the corpse of Clive Davis was replaced as chariman and chief executive officer of BMG. Clive was demoted to the position of Chief Creative Officer, also known as Worthless Token Position Where Clive Can't Do Much. Does this mean we won't have to see him doing the corpse shuffle on the Idol finales anymore? Can we stop looking at his rotting flesh in HD? Well, we hope to look half as good as old Clivey when we're 150 too.
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He took the chariot to high school. Ba dum dump.
I never liked that whole self-congratulatory thing every finale. It smacks of an Amway convention or something. If I want to know how Idol alums are doing in the marketplace (which I don't), I'm capable of looking it up myself.
Ta ta, Clive.
__________________________He's noble enough to know what's right... But weak enough not to choose it... He's wise enough to win the world... But fool enough to lose it... He's a New World man - Rush
http://www.angelfire.com/theforce/dionysus/
I don't think that's really Clive Davis. I think the real Clive Davis died several years ago, but they preserved his corpse cryogenically until the technology could catch up to reanimate him. Well, someone got impatient for Clive to discover more shitty music, so they decided to clone him instead. Did you ever see (or read) Jurassic Park? Like in that movie, they combined his DNA with reptile DNA, so the clone turned out really scaly and weird lookin'. See those sunglasses? Yeah, those ain't sunglasses, those are his real weird lizard eyes! And then he conceived an heir, and it's name was David Archuleta, which totally explains the lip-licking! Totally!
I'm blowin' your mind, ain't I, Jason Castro? Thanks for the hook up with that dope ass bubonic chronic, yo. I'm so baked I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. What? Oh, my bad, I thought you said something.
Is that Dark Side of the Moon? Crank that shit, brother!
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Dark Side of the Moon! Now THAT would be a great theme week! Can you imagine Carly trying to sing The Great Gig In The Sky (which she couldn't help but choose knowing her)? She'd have an aneurysm or ruin her voice (so-called) and we wouldn't have to hear about her ever again. It's a dream that I have.
__________________________He's noble enough to know what's right... But weak enough not to choose it... He's wise enough to win the world... But fool enough to lose it... He's a New World man - Rush
http://www.angelfire.com/theforce/dionysus/
I don't know, maybe "The Great Gig in the Sky" would help Carly out with her troubles. No, I don't mean it would help her win (nothing can help her there), but a song that difficult just might provoke enough PowerSquattingTM to help her finally push out that massive dump she's been straining to release all season.
Her hemorrhoids must be the size of a baby's arm!
__________________________http://notbaio.wordpress.com
Ha! It's funny because it's true. The girl just needs more roughage. Maybe Jason can make her his special brownies. :P
__________________________He's noble enough to know what's right... But weak enough not to choose it... He's wise enough to win the world... But fool enough to lose it... He's a New World man - Rush
http://www.angelfire.com/theforce/dionysus/
And somewhere in Texas, Kelly Clarkson exhales for the first time in almost a year.
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I definitely buy into your theory. (Clive DAVIs, DAVId Archulizard? And when was the last time anyone heard from Robert DAVI?)
One spot on which I disagree. I don't think it was DNA cloning, but more like when Geppetto created Pinnicchio.
Only not as lifelike.
And Psychobabbling Brooke will sing "Breathe", but forget how to (breathe).
__________________________Randy Jackson may talk like an idiot and he may act like an idiot, but don't let that fool you.
He really is an idiot.
Im sure vote for the worst had something to do with clive being replaced just like they do when a good idol constantin is voted off.
Booooooo we don't welcome people like you here!
What now are you gonna blame us for the flopped up careers of Reuben, Bo, Taylor, Blake, Jorbacca? Clive Davis was the 'mastermind' behind their short-lived embark in the music industry.
Is it me or do I see signs of decaying in that wretched skin of his?
__________________________Be a shark or get eaten... join us Worsters or get sucked into the suck!
Jordin has done better than you think 2 # 1's 1 million downloads for tattoo aslo he has sold 1 million albums & 1 million downloads for no air. You ass wipes thought you where voting for the worst during the season finale on season six but you didn't you did season two & five but who cares about taylor he sucks.