Jordin Sparks News About to Break

To whomever said it was one song a week is not taking into account how often they have to rehearse that song before they even go on stage to sing it which they do twice in the same day. Now they have added the fact that they have to sing and record the song once again in its entirety for Itunes download. Then there is the group number on those occasions when there is one. This is more than strutting out on stage and singing one song a week.

I hope it's not like, throat cancer or something.

No matter what, that would be so awful and unfortunate.

The shocking news is that Jordin ate David Pimpuleta when she was recently on the show. L'il Davey was standing a mite too close to the buffet table and Jordin scooped him up along with a handful of cheesecake. Since that day David A's actually been a 10 year old actor lip synching to old recordings that David A made in the past.

Actually, that's not so 'shocking' as welcome news but there you go.

Playing the role of my avatar today will be a kitten.

Alright, I'll be horrible and spoil it for anyone who reads this and hasn't stopped by this warning point:

I heard that she has a vocal hemorrhage, which I probably misspelled.

And because God is lacking that "special thing" for AI, He has also decided to replace her with Blake Lewis, reportedly, at whatever event she was scheduled to perform at.

Which I would take as more traumatizing than my bleeding throat.

Just because I'm a blogger doesn't mean that I've never had a grammar lesson, nor am I completely deviod of witty quips.

I read that about Blake performing in her place...this to me is only semi-interesting. Those two are all over eachother anyway, it's more like he's bailing her out than pushing her aside. What an anticlimactic little piece of news.

What a tease you are! Spill the damn beans!

Make me laugh today...;)

David Cook's style of generic radio rock ala Daughtry is what has already proved marketable, so that's what they'll jump on. Not much of a market now for Star Search winners. And it's not like there's a whole lot they can do with him anyway. He has the screaming 'tween girlie audience now, and that's about it (and they're too obsessed with Hannah Montana now anyway).

The David Cook/Daughtry style has a much broader appeal that would be a lot more profitable for them. So yeah, they're most likely going to pimp David Cook for the win, and give Archie the "shocking" departure near the finale.

Read here if you want the report now:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,351954,00.html

Because this is a FOX show, I'm sure Fox News wouldn't report on it if it weren't true. If you read the post a few above, this just confirms that.

If anyone is keeping tabs up to this point of American Idol winners, here's what we have so far:

Season 1: Gained popularity fast but then gained weight when popularity faded. Currently recovering from anorexia and recovering some but not all popularity.

Season 2: Rigged results or not, sold many albums, but not as many as the runner-up and then sales fell dramatically. Got dumped by record label like a one-night-stand after the one night was over.

Season 3: Has such a cool first name that nobody remembers her last name. Does Broadway, does albums, but like all Idol winners, you only have so many minutes of fame before the next act...

Season 4: The most successful Idol winner right now, raking in the award nominations and still producing successful albums. Could be tributed to the fact that she did not enter the pop genre, but rather a less crowded country genre.

Season 5: You do not make us proud, but you sure creep us out. No one night stand for you, we're just going to ship your album directly to the sale rack and dump you immediately following the credits of the finale.

Season 6: It is no longer your "now," because the one thing you, as a singer, couldn't afford to injure, you managed to. However, since we never really bought your album en masse like the rest of the winners, you're replaceable, and you've been replaced... but an 80s style beat boxer. Ba-dump crash!

Season 7: (I'm looking into my crystal ball) David Archuleta shows tremendous bravery for a teenager by admitting he's gay... but that bravery turns out to be stupidity, as all the teenie bopper girls that called in en masse to vote no longer want him or his album. Ellen Degeneres to the rescue, David appears on her show... even though his dad forgot to remove the leash before the cameras started rolling.

Season 8: The lowest rated season ever, despite Ryan Seacrest proclaiming it to be the "Best Top 24 ever... yes, even better than last season!" The show is canceled before a winner is named on the night Carly "Plant" Smithson is scheduled to guest perform. She sits down and cries in the middle of an empty stage, realizing that yet another of her albums is going to sell 300 copies.

Kelly Clarkson "lacking popularity"? She has sold twice as many albums as Carry Underwood worldwide. And yes, that's because Underwood "did not enter the pop genre, but rather a less crowded country genre" and country doesn't sell much outside the US.

That's not so bad. She can lip sync on the tour, just like she did on the Idol stage last week.

But isn't "vocal rest" the new secret code word for rehab?

WWSS: What Would Sanjaya Sing?