Catch Your Breath, Gaspy... You're the New VFTW Pick!

Posted by thefunnystone on May 8th, 2008 at 4:12 PM
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We've gotten tons of letters saying that David Archuleta better not win American Idol. He's annoying, he can barely form a coherent sentence without gasping for air and laughing nervously, he sings the same thing every week while getting more nervous, he forgets the words on a regular basis, and he's controlled by his obnoxious stage dad. So wait... that makes him the worst. Hey, there we go! Obviously less talented and less marketable than Syesha and David Cook, Gaspy is the new VFTW pick! Sure he's annoying, but that's why he's perfect. Most of America does not want him to win. Imagine an Idol winner who couldn't aspire to be much more than a less-talented Clay Aiken. Imagine an Idol winner whose press tour would take 20 minutes to answer a single question. And just imagine the type of sappy ballad that the producers already have lined up for David to record, dripping with extra cheese and terrible melisma. We smell failure! Hopefully this won't get him locked in his cage for another night. Break free, Gaspy. Break free. As an added bonus, if you sing Lil Mama's "Lip Gloss" this week, we'll love you forever. Who's working the strings now? Daddy? The producers? Or VFTW?
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dray888
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:03pm
Joined: 08 May 2008

Uh, I'm a big fan of VFTW. I can't vote coz I'm in UK but I enjoy everytime a Worster safe and the others go home.

But I kinda think that David Archuleta is a wrong choice.

Coz when it come to an end, where David Cook seems like the best, and America likes him, and it's between Archuleta or Syesha, I do think that the consideration should go like this:-
1. Who can make America piss off when he/she got eliminated?
2. Who is least favourite by the judges?

VFTW for Archuleta won't create any drama. Syesha out, fans happy, judges happy. But if Archuleta out then we can shove it to Randy's face who keep saying, 'if you can sing, then you can sing anything' which is kinda annoying everytime he said.

I might be wrong but see the wave of the Worsters. Which way are people agreeing?

LB987
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:04pm
Joined: 01 May 2008

haha , chumpass..?
Alright then..

I enjoy watching you scramble to try and find something to use agianst him. It pathetic that your so upsett by the success of this 17 year old , yes I said success , because When was the last time 13 million people called in and voted for you in only two hours? David is an amazing singer and will only get better with age. You desperately need to crawl out of your own ass and stop trying to put him down. If you dont like him so much then why the hell are you here wasting your time talking about something you dont even like? Its so damn sad..
Im here becuase I actually like him , and standing up for him because he deserves it. Bashing him makes 0 sence. Have fun though..? Theres no sence trying to convine you of anything , your so set in your naive ways.. I pitty you:)

Syeshaluvah
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:07pm
Joined: 16 Apr 2008

for once i have to dicagree with vftw pick i think it shouldve been snoresha

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Elliott

David St Hubbins
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:17pm
Joined: 02 Apr 2008

Upset? Not at all. He can have all the success in the world as far as I'm concerned. You like him, I don't really like him- hey, either way, we're both wasting our time but if either of us had something important to do, we'd be doing it, right? This entire website is devoted to bashing kids like this- it makes perfect sense! (Or "sence" as you so illiterately put it) Naive? I have to disagree there- I'd say at least half of those 13 million fans may be suffering from that degeneritive condition. To say that Arch is the second coming of John Lennon, Barry Manilow, Liberace or whomever you think he's comparable to, is about as naive as it gets. I'm about as cynical as they come and cynical people are not naive. Excuse me while I crawl out of my own ass though... it was getting a little stuffy in there.

David St Hubbins
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:21pm
Joined: 02 Apr 2008

Wait a second... "why the hell are you here...talking about something you don't even like?"

Hmmmmm.... anybody care to take this one?

passtheforbidde...
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:24pm
Joined: 13 Mar 2008

jwipe: "Quite honestly, I feel bad for you or anyone who has not experienced what we fans experience every time he sings. I've certainly never felt that emotion with any other singer before, and my greatest wish is that everyone can experience that just once in their life. I hope you can learn to open your heart at some point so that maybe you can feel it too."

Was anyone else a little creeped out when you read this? Sounds a bit like a cult to me, where you feel and experience special things that no one else can. Worrying.

In reading all the posts so far on our new pick, I have finally decided who Lil' Davey reminds me of...Butters on South Park in the Lord of the Rings episode (though obviously with dark, not blonde hair). He'll definitely crack the same way and be running around with a tape of his AI highlights, referring to is as his "precious". It's all so sad, and all his fantards who cannot see how fragile he is are doing him so much more harm than good.

Whatever it is you "feel" when you hear him sing jwipe, it's selfish and wrong (and probably dirty). If you actually cared about him as a person, you would want him to be free of the weekly strain of the competition (to say nothing of the upcoming tour and possible contract terms). Fan is short for fanatic, which you are...why not give it and Lil' Davey a rest!

PoeticMurder
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:27pm
Joined: 09 Apr 2008

To LB987:
Actually, I think we should pity you. If you actually opened you effing ears and listen, you can totally tell that Gaspy is not all he is built up to be. I may only be in band, and not choir, but we were trained to hear pitch and Randy has got have wax in his ears or something because Gaspy is 9 times out 10 off pitch.

And you're calling people out on there opinion (yes I realize this is vise-versa as well, but you started it by coming on this site), whatever happened to freedom of speech!??

But what gets me the most about your comments that have been posted is how you complain about Gaspy being called out on being in front of millions of people. If he can't handle that, what the hell is he doing on Idol?

Nad because of his "medical problems", and "abusive dad", and the other hundred things "wrong" with him, he wins over the sympathy votes of thousands of old women and tweens. Wow, what an accomplishment.

cbaby
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:31pm
Joined: 08 May 2008

It's about time the true worst contestant made it to this site. David A is so annoying. He makes me skin crawl with his gasping and his incessant laughter. What is so funny anyway? You're right, he forgets words weekly and nobody ever says a thing to him. He is a complete moron.

Samara
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:33pm
Joined: 08 May 2008

I would just like to say: thank you very much, Vote for the Worst! I signed up just to express my gratitude. Archie's my absolute favourite, and I only watch this exploitive, semi-crap show to see him perform. I seriously think he's awesome and I really want him to win.

So, if him being the 'Worst' equals more votes for David Archuleta, that's great. The caricature you made is kind of cute, too. I was expecting something a little crueler, so I'm glad.

Anyway... vote your fingers off for the love nugget, and who knows, maybe he'll beat David Cook into the ground. Hellz, I'd pay to see that.

;)

Simons Left Hand
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:38pm
Joined: 16 Apr 2008

jwipe:

"Personally, I think he is the greatest singer I've ever heard in my life (and I've been around a LONG time)"

you are effing kidding, right? If not, congratulations on having the deafness reversed. Unfortunate that Archutard was the first person you heard sing after getting your hearing for the first time.

Laura, as usual your caricature rocks! Would love to commission you to do one of my kids..seriously....