Catch Your Breath, Gaspy... You're the New VFTW Pick!

Posted by thefunnystone on May 8th, 2008 at 4:12 PM
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We've gotten tons of letters saying that David Archuleta better not win American Idol. He's annoying, he can barely form a coherent sentence without gasping for air and laughing nervously, he sings the same thing every week while getting more nervous, he forgets the words on a regular basis, and he's controlled by his obnoxious stage dad. So wait... that makes him the worst. Hey, there we go! Obviously less talented and less marketable than Syesha and David Cook, Gaspy is the new VFTW pick! Sure he's annoying, but that's why he's perfect. Most of America does not want him to win. Imagine an Idol winner who couldn't aspire to be much more than a less-talented Clay Aiken. Imagine an Idol winner whose press tour would take 20 minutes to answer a single question. And just imagine the type of sappy ballad that the producers already have lined up for David to record, dripping with extra cheese and terrible melisma. We smell failure! Hopefully this won't get him locked in his cage for another night. Break free, Gaspy. Break free. As an added bonus, if you sing Lil Mama's "Lip Gloss" this week, we'll love you forever. Who's working the strings now? Daddy? The producers? Or VFTW?
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Samara
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 8:57pm
Joined: 08 May 2008

LB987:

Don't worry about it. The real reason they 'chose' David Archuleta is because of their pent of frustration throughout the season... from NOT voting for him. They're probably mostly men in their 20-40s with severe mancrushes on poor DA. It's all good (for us, for them, it's jailbait). Their votes are, at last, going to a better place.

LB987
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 9:00pm
Joined: 01 May 2008

danimals May 8, 2008 - 9:53pm

"Oh God forbid I spelt a word wrong?"
Spelt is a type of wheat. Therefore, it makes no sense to use that word in the context of your sentence.

Oh christ we've got another one..
Please , I dont think I could roll my eyes anymore.
Here you go .. Spell .. are you okay now? Need a lollypop or anything? I know this is hard on you.

Samara
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 9:00pm
Joined: 08 May 2008

danimals:

spelt /spɛlt/ Pronunciation Key - Pronunciation[spelt]
–verb
a pt. and pp. of spell.

jszslrg
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 9:00pm
Joined: 22 Apr 2008

Wow, you've stooped to a new level. You've missed on four idols and you finally picked the one who's been one of the highest vote getters yet.

Very clever but you've just killed his chances just like you did Amanda, KLC, Brooke, and Jason.

LB987
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 9:02pm
Joined: 01 May 2008

Samara ,

So very true , :)

My gosh, shame on me.. where are my manners ! Thank you for voting guys :) This means alot ! Seriously !

Scott Baio
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 9:05pm
Joined: 05 Mar 2008

Uh huh. You're defending yourself against sounding like a hypocrite by doing whatever you can to justify why you're here calling us all sad and whatever other bullshit you spouted at us. I understand that completely. See, when I write about things I like, I don't do so by calling other people "sad" and "assholes." The dominant theme in all of your posts has been that we are pricks. Granted, some of us really are, so good on you for noticing that. Why not go over to Archuleta's fan site and tell them all about how he is the Christ reborn rather than coming in here and saying how we're all assholes?

I guess it does swing both ways, though. Just like a door. Don't let it bump you in the ass on your way out, sweetheart.

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http://notbaio.wordpress.com

Kayjx815
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 9:04pm
Joined: 20 Feb 2008

I think you people who run this site and freakin stupid for having the only one who knows what hes doing and who has and AMAZING voice for the VFTW...but i just noticed him getting all these people from ur site to vote for him..and his fans will help him win

Tealover
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 9:05pm
Joined: 08 May 2008

LB- You have guts to join this stupid site and fight with these small minded cynical dorks who write blogs from Mommy's basement! But don't waste your time on these losers- they clearly need to affirm their own tiny lives by chuckling over child abuse and vocal paralysis.

mbabula
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 9:05pm
Joined: 22 Feb 2008

"The American Idol producers don't like [us] because they've already spent time "pimping" the contestant that they want to win. Because the producers don't like our site, the show has called us "hateful" and "mean spirited"...We don't hate the people we vote for, we actually love them!"--VFTW "About Us"

I have to stand on principle here and say that Archie, while definitely probably the most "intuitive" VFTW choice out of the three, still does not fit the VFTW criteria on several important levels:

1)He's beem pimped by the judges all along

2) He probably was one of the more talented people who tried out for AI, although not the world's greatest singer by any stretch of the imagination;

and 3) He is mostly hated by Worsters, but aren't we supposed to love him?

Sure, we'll be rooting for him the whole time, and maybe we will even grow to love him in a "little brother that you beat up on" kind of way. It's going to be fun to goof on him, but I just can't bring myself to vote for him.

Tell me no one else is conflicted on this!

__________________________

Billy Witch Doctor Dot Com is most comfortable with chickens. He has 1 convenient locations.

Tealover
Posted: May 8, 2008 - 9:07pm
Joined: 08 May 2008

No- you get your kicks joking about child abuse and glorying in the hope that picking this poor kid will get him beaten. How proud you must be.