Kara DioGuardi Joins American Idol as the Fourth Judge

Posted by thefunnystone on August 25th, 2008 at 8:25 AM
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Looks like the changes are already rolling in. It was just announced that a 4th judge will be joining Drunky, Man Boobs, and Incoherent on American Idol 8's panel. Just what we need... more inane comments from the peanut gallery. But maybe this one will be better. The new judge is Kara DioGuardi, a Grammy nominated songwriter who is reponsible for such travesties as Ashlee Simpson's Pieces of Me, Lindsay Lohan's Confessions of a Broken Heart, and Paris Hilton's I Want You among other song. AI is definitely keeping it in the family, as DioGuardi has written songs for many past Idols as well, such as Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Clay Aiken, Katharine McPhee, Bo Bice, and Taylor Hicks. DioGuardi also owns Arthouse Entertainment, which is responsible for David Archuleta's new song Crush. So what nickname will we come up with for Kara? What will we mock her for? And will anyone call her out on writing such terrible songs? Take your guesses in the comments.

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henry
Posted: August 25, 2008 - 9:56am
Joined: 04 Apr 2007

Well, a second girl to the table.

Will they seat boy, girl, boy, girl, or what?

And I wonder how long it will take before we find out if the new judge has any previous deals with the new "best 24 ever".

FicklePimp
Posted: August 25, 2008 - 10:07am
Joined: 10 Jun 2008

Admittedly, I know very little about the songs/genres she's been successful in and after skimming thru her song list and not recognizing one, I'd say she must be very good at "puking" on paper. As for her face - I find her quite fug, but still better eye candy than Randy or Simon.

Riordan
Posted: August 25, 2008 - 10:20am
Joined: 26 Jun 2008

Haven't known much about her, what firstly came to my mind is that she looks like older, more wasted with drugs and alcohol through years, more bitchy version of Kat McPhee.

Adding fourth judge means either longer shows or shorter comments from the other judges. Hope Pauler will just have less time for her useless, delusional opinions.

Moxie
Posted: August 25, 2008 - 10:30am
Joined: 10 May 2008

I vote for shorter comments, shorter video packages and a lot less Ryan. I fear that they will just force the contestants to hack the songs they sing down to 20 seconds or something similarly ludicrous to make room for a 4th judge.

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thefunnystone
Posted: August 25, 2008 - 10:39am
Joined: 20 May 2006

At least this opens up Kara's awful collection of songs to the Idol catalog. We'll have plenty more VFTW victories with this crap available now as selections!

Duke of Vandals
Posted: August 25, 2008 - 11:23am
Joined: 13 May 2008

Apparently, not enough people believed 3 judges and Seacrest saying "best top 12 ever," so adding a 4th judge gives them a 25% more likely chance of being believed when they say it this season.

Awesome.

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insaneinthesfv
Posted: August 25, 2008 - 11:30am
Joined: 01 Feb 2007

Who? Jebus, take the wheel, because the shark HAS been jumped!

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Scott Baio
Posted: August 25, 2008 - 12:08pm
Joined: 05 Mar 2008

Will this lady be the "Poochie" of American Idol? Probably. I wish they would just cut loose and bring in a digitally animated Jar Jar Binks as a permanent judge. At least that would be slightly less irritating.

As for this lady, she is responsible for contributing to the careers of some of the most atrocious and untalented pop "singers" of the last five years. Lindsey Lohan? Paris Hilton? Ashlee Simpson? Ms. DioGuardi represents everything that is wrong with popular music. She'll be a perfect fit for a vapid, shallow, worthless karaoke contest like AI.

Possible nicknames:
Ronnie James Dio
Holy Diver
DioTarded
The Antichrist of Music
Kara

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gaziza
Posted: August 25, 2008 - 12:30pm
Joined: 12 Mar 2008

The problem with just adding a judge is that Paula already goes so long in her rambling that many times Simon gets time for about half a sentence, if that.

I think you kind of have to keep Randy first so he can follow a good performance with his animated critique and Simon last so he can completely disagree.

Adding another judge into the middle and not getting rid of Paula will make the feedback portion even more tedious.

Moxie
Posted: August 25, 2008 - 12:50pm
Joined: 10 May 2008

Anyone think this is their way of forcing Paula out? Say there are going to be 4 judges to get people used to the idea, then say in December that Paula decided to "move on to other projects" before AI starts airing. Just a thought....

__________________________

“I really don’t want to go there. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.” Jerry, Boston Legal, 4/14/08

"Ambition is the last refuge of failure." -- Oscar Wilde