Jordin Sparks is An Angry Wookie at the MTV Video Music Awards

Posted by thefunnystone on September 7th, 2008 at 9:28 PM
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After host Russel Brand made a lame joke about the Jonas Brothers wearing promise rings so that they will not have sex until marriage, Jordin Sparks was pissed off at the MTV Video Music Awards. When Jorbacca stomped on the stage and nearly killed all crew members due to her massive size, she quipped, "I just wanna say, it's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?" She then went on to lose the award for best new artist, eat every last bit piece of food backstage, and then was unable to heal her pain with some sex... because no one wants to have sex with her. We mean, because she is saving herself for marriage.

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mastersnap101
Posted: September 7, 2008 - 10:00pm
Joined: 01 Aug 2008

Damnit Dave, you didn't even mention that Fanny Pack won best dance crew. Ugh!

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thefunnystone
Posted: September 7, 2008 - 10:08pm
Joined: 20 May 2006

I didn't watch that piece of shit show. I just reported what someone else said ;-)

Fanny Pak won something? VFTW Victory!

azurebird
Posted: September 7, 2008 - 10:13pm
Joined: 29 Mar 2008

There are rare times like this where I actually agree with Jorbacca. The way she stomped on stage like that well...made it funny.

Nothing wrong with waiting until marriage. Good for you Jonas Brothers and Jordan for having your say!

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Smartie
Posted: September 7, 2008 - 10:30pm
Joined: 02 Apr 2007

Jorbacca's just jellus because she killed and ate all the male Wookies on Earth, so she's got  no one to fuck her.

 

FANNY PAK FTW! 

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Insane
Posted: September 7, 2008 - 10:51pm
Joined: 01 Feb 2007

Hear that? Have sex ONCE before marraige, and you're a S L U T.

W H O R E

S K A N K

It's true because she says so. Because she has wisdom. That's right...no, I can't say any of this with a straight face.

FAIL, Jordin, FAIL!

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JauntyHat
Posted: September 8, 2008 - 12:47am
Joined: 29 Mar 2008

If it was ok for Brand to imply wearing a promise ring must mean you are dumb or pathetic then I saw nothing wrong with Jordin turning it around and making an equally incorrect assumption that no promise ring = slutsville.

I usually have no use for Jorbacca so perhaps I feel this way out of crankiness because Brand was horribly unfunny and I lost two hours of my life for no good reason watching the VMAs.

rem
Posted: September 8, 2008 - 1:16am
Joined: 12 Jun 2006

According to the article Russel Brand sort of applogized afterward. He would be in hiding right now if he cracked any jokes like that about muslims.

Mysterioso
Posted: September 8, 2008 - 2:49am
Joined: 18 Apr 2007

No one would fuck that stupid cow anyway. WTF is she talking about?

manlambda
Posted: September 8, 2008 - 6:13am
Joined: 16 Apr 2008

Well the boys should take advantage now while the girls are blinded by their fame because in another year or two the tweenards will move on to something else. Than when they are working at McDonalds asking do you want fries with that no girl will give them the time of day. I don't understand it because those Jonas boys are mighty ugly. I'll never understand the hormones of tweenards. At least Gaspy is sort of cute in that pathetic awkward puppy dog way.

Chubarama
Posted: September 8, 2008 - 6:50am
Joined: 18 Jun 2008

Ugh. I didn't watch it or anything but what a great message to send, Chewie. Yes, boys and girls, having sex before marriage makes you a slut. And people like Jordin Sparks will jump up on a stage and announce it to everyone.