Vote for the Worst Presents: The Worst Songs of 2003

Each week, we'll be featuring the worst songs from each year this decade. We'll be counting down the absolute worst songs to come out each year from 2000 to 2009, and we'll be bringing back all of the songs you wish you'd forgotten. These are the songs that people just can't seem to believe exist, because they're just so terrible. There is a good mixture of guilty pleasures (the awfully funny) and complete crapfests (the awful with no merit). At the end of the 10 weeks, you'll have an opportunity to vote on the worst song of the decade.

2003 was a year for songs that were so bad, they're good. So many guilty pleasures came out of this year, as people apparently were trying to be terrible to sell records. It worked! Here's a recap of the songs that made 2003 a terrible year for music.

10. Amanda Perez - Angel
Some people get record deals because they sing well. Some get record deals because they're attractive. Some get record deals based on buzz. Then there's Amanda Perez, who has none of the above. How she became famous, and how this horribly written and horribly sung song became such a hit on the radio is a mystery. Showing how one note she is, Amanda released a second single called "I Pray" which sounds almost identical to "Angel". Thankfully, Amanda never repeated the success of her first song.

9. Kelis - Milkshake
Kelis's tuneless song about booties quickly turned into a pop culture phenomenon and a pop culture joke. But what a joke it was. The song took on a life of its own and became a guilty pleasure for many and the bane of other people's radios. The chorus stuck in your heads for days, for better or worse. Kelis hasn't followed up this song with anything nearly as successful, and is now just known for her divorce from ex-husband Nas.

8. Nelly - Air Force Ones
Nelly enlisted all of his rapper friends on his record label to come together and release a song... about how much they love the new Nike Air Force Ones shoes. The song is a 4 minute advertisement that makes sure to tell you, if you scuff up your Air Force Ones, "you fuck up your whole night." Brilliant marketing. So you might as well buy 10-20 pairs just in case. My favorite part of the song is the deadpan woman with no inflection to her voice saying, "Kyjuan, where you getting them colors, are you dying them?" Even she can't get excited about this terrible song.

7. Fannypack - Cameltoe
The growing epidemic of frontal wedgies on women, also known as cameltoe, needed an anthem to really shed light on the issue. The only lips these girl want to see are the ones that sing, and they aren't afraid to say it. Because if your pants are looking for a snack, you need to check yourself. The song may be deliberately silly, but there's no denying that it's terrible. Terribly genius.

6. The Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love
People either love or hate this song, but there's no in between. Bringing back the glam rock sound and singing the entire song in falsetto created an irresistible guilty pleasure. The video only made the song seem even sillier, with the lead singer humping something furry, singing into a salami, and fighting space creatures. You can't help but think of VFTW while watching.

5. Black Eyed Peas - Where is the Love
When a song starts out with the lyrics "What's wrong with the world, mama? People livin' like they ain't got no mamas", you know it's just going to be bad. The Black Eyed Peas probably meant well writing a song about loving one another and ending world problems, but the lyrics are so poorly written that the song sounds asinine. Also, the chorus isn't sung by a woman with a bad voice... that's actually Justin Timberlake. The Black Eyes Peas also proved their commitment to world peace with their later works "My Humps", "Don't Phunk With My Heart", and "Boom Boom Pow".

4. Kelly Osbourne - Shut Up
It was truly a travesty that Kelly Osbourne got a record deal. The culmination was her single "Shut Up". Kelly just can't sing, so anything she did would be terrible, but coming off as a bratty girl who wants everyone to shut up makes it doubly annoying. Watching her band attempt to rock out as if they actually like the song and aren't just doing this because they're broke is immensely satisfying.

3. Clay Aiken - Invisible
American Idol started to terrorize our television sets in 2002. It only took until 2003 for someone to release a hideous song, and that honor goes to Clay Aiken. "Invisible" is a stalker anthem about wanting to watch someone in their room as if you're not there. The crowd in the video doesn't seem to mind that Clay's a pervert, maybe they want him to be a "fly on their wall." Beyond the awful lyrics, the singing and tune is just so uncool and miscalculated, that it's no wonder this song dictated Clay's (lack of) future career: invisible.

2. Cheeky Girls - The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)
Speaking of songs that came from terrible reality shows, the Cheeky Girls were bad auditioners for the UK show Popstars. Yes, the song is clearly tongue in cheek (pun intended), but that doesn't mean the song isn't hilariously awful. The Cheeky Girls put together one heck of a cheeseball anthem about themselves, and no real explanation is needed.

1. Lumidee - Never Leave You (Uh Oooh, Uh Oooh)
One of the more irritatingly overused beats in 2003 was the Diwali Riddim. It was used in Sean Paul's "Get Busy", Wayne Wonder's "No Letting Go", but the worst version was Lumidee's "Never Leave You". Apparently trying to capitalize on the rise of Hispanic artists, Universal signed Lumidee. The only problem? Lumidee can't sing. The vocals are so painfully off key while she's singing that no instruments are used besides drums, because Lumidee would probably be incapable of staying on key. Yet this song was unavoidable on the radio and then yielded a remix with Busta Rhymes and Fabolous (above). It's truly one of the most off key vocals ever recorded, and the worst song of 2003.

Leave a comment with your choice for the worst song of 2003, and check back for the worst songs of 2004 next week.
__________________________