Simon Cowell
Nigel Lythgoe Perpetuated the Lame Gay Jokes on American Idol
Could Paula Abdul Be a Judge on the Upcoming US X-Factor?
The Hollywood Reporter is saying that Simon Cowell's negotiations over American Idol are heavily based on bringing his other hit show, X Factor, from England to America as well. Simon stands to make $50 million a year on Idol and an additional $50 million for X Factor if all goes well for him. The best nuggest of gossip from the article though is that Paula Abdul is rumored to possibly be one of the judges for the US version of X Factor if it does make its way here. Now that might make us tune in. Idol dropped the ball when it dropped Paula, so bringing her back as a judge on a new show is wise indeed. Or was it all a big publicity stunt to have Paula quit after she inked a deal to judge X Factor? Knowing Fremantle, probably the latter.
Well, So Much For a Comeback...
With all of the Paula Abdul pity in the air, someone had to kick her when she was down. Media IQ issued a study that said that Paula Abdul is the American Idol judge that most people fast forward through while watching their Tivo. This study is bullshit though, as they say that Randy is the most popular.
Let us explain what actually happens: People start watching Randy and forget they have to listen to the judges. So as he begins to talk, they hit fast forward, but it takes a few seconds because their brains are momentarily frozen while trying to comprehend the nonsensical comments from Randy. After fast forwarding, the viewers then hit Play when Simon comes back on, realizing that the judge comments are almost over.
Simon Cowell Can Never Insult Anyone Ever Again
TMZ uncovered a video of Simon Cowell appearing on Top of the Pops in 1982 as Wonderdog. After this gem, Simon can't call anything "theme park" or dreadful ever again. This is 100 times worse than anything ever done on American Idol. Since Simon no longer has a sense of humor, he won't laugh about it at all. The Wonderdog song is 500 times worse than even helming the WWE soundtrack. So is Simon secretly a Worster at heart? Or will he just do anything for money?
Listen Up, Judges. Shut the Fuck Up
That's enough. After even more articles from Paula Abdul in the news saying that she won't be back on American Idol due to contract negotiations stalling, enough is enough. When will the press learn that the judges are told to keep telling everyone that they won't be back or have to negotiate contracts so that people keep reporting on Idol all year long? Since nothing is going on, Paula has to run her yapper about how there's a possibility she won't be back. This comes after months of Kara, Simon, and Randy doing the same thing. Who cares? Listen up, judges. You have a sweet gig sitting on a chair, killing brain cells, and saying the same 10 sentences with different variations thrown in every week. Stop bitching. We all know your "I won't be back" lines are bullshit. And even if you don't come back because you're actually telling the truth for once, no one will miss you. American Idol has devolved into the worst karaoke competition money can buy, and the judging has become a parody of itself. Any moron with a cocaine habit can do the same thing you do.
So forgive us if we don't have pity for you. Receiving millions of dollars to say "that was pitchy, dawg" or to fall over in a drug-addled mess after being drawn on with crayons is beyond what people in bad economy can have sympathy for. No one wants to hear you say anything else, because no one sees you as anything but has-been personalities that are good to make fun of. So for God's sake, give it up already.
Simon Cowell Offered Over $100 Million a Year to Judge American Idol
Simon Cowell's negotiation tactics for his new contract with American Idol are apparently working. The New York Post reports that Simon is being offered between $100 million and $144 million a year to judge American Idol. Compare that to the measly $34 million he made judging the show last year. Since Idol makes about $900 million a year, is Simon worth 1/9 of the total profits? Probably. Even though he's a tool mouthpiece for the producers, we'd have no one to vote for if Simon wasn't telling the VFTW contestants that they're terrible and they should pack their bags and go home. Simon's hatred of a contestant is one of the biggest ways for us to decide who to vote for. If Idol wants to save money, they should just cut Randy and Kara out now, since no one listens to them. And pay Paula in even more drugs so she's extra loopy.
Simon Cowell Looking to Get Even Richer with a US X-Factor
Simon Cowell, who is already overpaid, is now going to be ridiculously overpaid. Simon is in talks with Fox to bring shows from his own production company exclusively to Fox, including the British hit show X-Factor. X-Factor was the show that ran in England after Pop Idol (American Idol's predecessor) was canned after 2 seasons. The show spawned crap like Leona Lewis, so it would be just as bad as American Idol and would require a heavy VFTW influence. MJ's Big Blog also reports that Simon wants to quit Britain's X-Factor to exclusively produce the show in the US (clearly where the money is at). Does Simon deserve even more money for doing the same thing multiple times and just tweaking a rule or two? Any idiot could think the show up, why bother paying Simon to do it?
Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest Insult Kris Allen on Ryan's Radio Show
Well, we definitely votes for the right guy. Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest had some harsh things to say about Kris Allen on Ryan's morning radio show on KIIS-FM. Simon mention that although Kris won by receiving the most votes, he was not the best singer. Seacrest then compared Kris to Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks, 2 past winners whose careers fizzled. Ouch! Looks like Kris winning is still a pretty big VFTW Victory!
Coming as no surprise to us, Celebitchy says that the lame and offensive gay jokes that Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell spouted on seasons of Idol were encouraged by ex-producer Nigel Lythgoe who found them "hilarious." With Ellen DeGeneres coming on board as a judge, current producer Simon Fuller has told the two lame guys to cut out the gay jokes. Is anyone surprised that the 7 seasons of Simon Cowell telling male contestants to put on dresses and mocking Ryan were perpetuated by Nigel? It took Nigel leaving the show to have the first sort of openly gay contestant do well without jokes being made. Nigel's homophobic tendencies have been documented before, so we hope he's having fun on his Dance show. Because gay guys clearly stay out of dancing, so he's home free.