Results Show #1 -- Post Game Analysis

Posted by Professor Chan on Thursday, February 19, 2009 at 5:52 AM EST
Share:

This is why results shows suck.  They are a horrible waste of your life, and nobody should ever watch them.  Including me.

 The group sing was it's usual brand of terrible.  Although Stevie reminded us that she can't carry a tune AT ALL.  (How did she make the top 36 again?)  And Casey proved to us that she can't sing AND she can't dance.  But otherwise, this was dreck.

More recaps of crap we've seen before.  One more teasing gasp of Fame to Carly and Michael Johns.  By the way, Carly's head looks like it weighs 200 pounds.  It's like all the fat in her body migrated to her face.  That's all I noticed through the fast forwarding.

 I can say the best part of the show was when the "Winners" got to sing again, and then went out and proved why they SHOULD'VE NEVER BEEN ALLOWED TO SING ON TV IN THE FIRST PLACE!  Man, those were horrible.  I was half-expecting Ryan to jump on-stage and say Alexis, Michael, this was your REAL test and you both screwed the pooch.  You're both going home.  Gokey was fine, but his musical taste blows worse than a $2 hooker.  Or Kara.

Also, this Wildcard format is really stupid.  And I'm not saying that just because it seems to foil our VFTW plans to conquer the world.  As soon as Alexis was put into the Finals, we KNEW Tatiana was going home.  All of the remaining "mystery" was sucked out of the show around the 30 minute mark when Roughneck Michael gets put through over Anoop.  Was their ANY DOUBT in the entire country that Gokey was safe?  Maybe I'm giving too much credit to the teeny boopers and housewives who watch this show in a non-ironic way.  Maybe they were sweating Gokey's spot in the finals until the last second.  Then the Producers tried to milk Tatiana's meltdown, and she gave them NOTHING.  For five glorious minutes she weeped softly into her hand.  HAHA!  No histrionics and ratings scoring success at the cost of Tatiana's hopes and dreams for you Idol Producers.  

 By the way, as soon as the contestants figure out that they'll be back for the Wildcard show, doesn't it suck all of the drama out of these goddamn results shows?  Except that these singers are perhaps even more stupid than Idol fans.  

What did you guys think?  Need to vent about Tatiana getting robbed?  Is anyone capable of stopping the Gokey machine?

And why does Idol create such violent reactions in people?  I've read some posts calling for Gokey's head on a platter.  Why do we care so much?  Me personally, I think he's some dumb schmoe in Granny glasses.  Doesn't cause my head to explode in violent rage.  

 

--Chan 

1 2 3 ... 7 next › last »
spongegator
Posted: 2/19/2009 at 6:24 AM Reply with quote

Danny reminds me a lot of David Cook when he started to get all smug from all the positive feedback. It's too early for that kind of big-headedness, I think he is going to crash and burn once people realize he's a one trick pony.

Moxie
Posted: 2/19/2009 at 6:33 AM Reply with quote
Location: In the icebox.

I've got no real opinion on his singing...it's just so incredibly average. My problem with him and TPTB is the incessant dead wife crap. If you want to be famous you should be able to do it on your own merits (or at least your own disability, like Blind Scott), not by using family members. I vote against political candidates who try to pull that crap and I'll vote against God-lovin' Gokey until he cuts the crap out.

MojoPin66
Posted: 2/19/2009 at 6:41 AM Reply with quote
Location: Dallas

Hey, Professor!

I guess I was taking the unfairness a little too personally/seriously last night.

Far and away the best male vocal of the night came from Ricky (Who?) Braddy. He was fucked over on so many levels. We never saw (heard) him at all until Tuesday night. Then after the first three judges wet themselves over him, Simon shit on him. He incorrectly told Ricky that he didn't look confident. Was he fucking paying attention?

Simon's comments are directly responsible for putting two of the three singers through - Alexis and Michael. (Danny Gokey's on a mission from God, so he's untouchable for now.)

Simon to Alexis: "You're the darkhorse... / you remind me of Kelly Clarkson..."

Simon to Michael: "That wasn't your best, but you're a nice guy, so I hope people will vote for you..."

Really?! He should get through because he's a nice guy?! Um, yeah - because you know that Ricky Braddy dude is a total asswipe.

For fuck's sake, Professor. It's difficult to know who to blame more - Simon or the fucking sheep who listen to him.

Then we lost our sweet Tatiana, and it reminded me why we're here...

Fuck American Idol!

Catch you later.

David

ILikeBond
Posted: 2/19/2009 at 7:02 AM Reply with quote

Wow, I didn't think it was possible, but Michael's rendition was even worse on the results show than the sing-off the previous day. He's--very kindly put--utterly average, fat, dresses like a douchebag, and has an ugly wife. He's a poor man's fat Michael Johns! Funnily enough, watching him sing last night, I saw a VFTW star being born... stay tuned!

David Gee
Posted: 2/19/2009 at 7:13 AM Reply with quote
Banned Location: Costa Mesa, CA

Yeah, but Fat Michael is a blue-collar worker, so he has the best backstory of all time.

vr6pilot
Posted: 2/19/2009 at 7:18 AM Reply with quote
Location: egypt

I enjoyed reading Prof Chan's editorial; it showed in perfect clarity that this site is infertile. I am far from a ravenous 'idol' fan and am far more perplexed at how a simple TV show can invoke such a hostile and venomous reaction in someone that they would create an entire website devoted to it's destruction. I've read the VFTW Magna Carta and I kind of get the whole "righting a wrong" concept but I feel it's utterly misplaced on something as inert as American Idol. With so much energy, angst, and (apparently) free time why not blog about the middle east (unending source of raw material) or even the 'octomom'?

I've just enrolled in this site and welcome the flood of rational and irrational debate that is sure to come my way but all posters need consider this: I am stationed at a remote location with limited television and internet access but loads of spare time so my reasons for watching the show and posting here won't be further justified. Meanwhile, I think this website has lost the momentum it once had during the Sanjaya era and am pleased by this.

Cutie1234
Posted: 2/19/2009 at 7:22 AM Reply with quote
Location: Compton

I have to say I am pretty upset over her not making it. I was event more upset she didn't jump opn Fanny Danny and beat him to a pulp. Man that would have been funny. She was looking at him like " You stole my dream."

This new voting thing is real confusing too. I mean when are they going to pick the wild card or cards? Are they going to put the top of every group for one more sing off? Is there one than one wild card spot? AI need to lay the rules out again so we are not lost.

Next candidates

MPD - Norman

Drama Queen - Nick

LiL Clay - nerd boy who sang in his closet and got sick

Professor Chan
Posted: 2/19/2009 at 7:36 AM Reply with quote
Location: Van Nuys

<p>Hello VR6Pilot.  Welcome.</p><p>I'm going to have to disagree with you.  First of all Votefortheworst is a humor site.  We're not trying to ruin anyone's dreams.  We make people laugh.  For some reason 25 million people watch Idol every week and we enjoy talking about it.  </p><p>And I have to strongly disagree that VFTW has lost it's validity.  I'll repeat, we're a humor site.  And Americans can always use more humor.  Second of all, if VFTW doesn't matter, why did they change over to the stupid wildcard format this season?  VFTW was leading the outcry over boring, talentless singers, professional ringers and stale format last season.  And you know what, the Producers were listening.  They fired Lithgoe, they screwed up their own formula with wildcards.  They added a 4th judge, and they carried through a bunch of Wacky Personalities to the semi-finals to keep the show entertaining.</p><p>VFTW played a part in all of that.</p><p>Great to have you onboard.  You'll enjoy the ride.</p><p> </p><p>Best wishes,</p><p>Chan </p>

Bailey Hankins
Posted: 2/19/2009 at 7:38 AM Reply with quote
Location: They say I'm nasty, but I don't give a damn!

vr6pilot:

No, you are so wrong. The fact that half of retard America watches this most ridiculously scripted, banal and manipulative show, often getting so involved that they cry and/or actually attend the concerts of the talentless contestants makes it far more fascinating than the Middle East or Octomom. It is the very embodiment of everything wrong with our shallow, stupid, easily manipulated masses that voted George W. Bush in ... TWICE.

This is the fucking front line in the war for our future. If American Idol isn't humiliated, outed for what it is, and eventually stopped we face no less than the End of Civilization.

bugmenot
Posted: 2/19/2009 at 7:39 AM Reply with quote

I think it is hilarious how everyone on here "THINKS" they can make a difference by voting for the worst person. That mexican you voted for was hilarious also. If she would've been all drama queen, she might have been good for the show, but no, she was real. REAL FAKE and her singing sucked. Cya next week

1 2 3 ... 7 next › last »

Subscribe