Chan-

I say not only can we dream about Gokey going home but it is our responsibility to do an Indian style "send Gokey home" dance to help the process along.

Oh an Paula was definitely on the best shit she had in her medicine cabinet. The woman could not even pronounce simple words. Maybe she should take a page out of Randy's book of illiteracy and just say every performance was "dope." Of course she may not be able to pronounce that either.

Actually for the haters, "Always on my Mind" was written by Brenda Lee in 1972-NOT Willie Nelson. And Elvis did record it first in 1972.

Nelson's version came out in 1983-84ish. So don't be haters, Elvis got there first. Go look it up and don't doubt the Chan.

I think Randy Jackson's reference to NIN was to compare what johnny cash did to a NIN song, (hurt) and equate it with that garbage that Adam Lampert sang last night. God how I hate him.

Sarver – D. Sounded like shit, but probably because Idol rigged his performance.

Allison – A. Great song choice, and she even looked better last night.

Kris – B+. A little boring, but boring is his style.

Lil – B+. Totally disagree with the Prof on this one. I thought she kicked it.

Adam – B+. The good grade is based entirely on the creativity of it.

Scotty Mac – B+. His myspace stuff was still better, though.

Alexis – C. My wife says she looks like Dolly, I said she’s full of shit.

Donkey – B. Who could have ever guessed he’d take the Jesus song? Frauen vaginas are exploding everywhere.

Anoop – A+. Absolutely fantastic. But can he rock it? I doubt it.

Megan – I. Since she was sick, I won’t grade her. However, her boobies were awesome.

Matt G – C+. How overrated can one get? There’s nothing small about him? I guess Kara would know.

Going home – Sarver is toast. Lil probably got the least votes, but they don’t have to report that anyways. At this point, there’s plenty of room to manipulate, so they can just lie about it like they usually do, eliminate Sarver, who’s fodder anyways, and save their “save” for a more suspicious time.

I agree with you, tender dog: Randy Travis meeting Glambert was the best part of the night. Deliciously uncomfortable. I loved Randy T's comment about "never knowin' a guy who wore nail polish." Classic, and I still think Glambert should be our VFTW pick.

Did anyone else catch Pauler sniffing Simon's forearm before WTB JT's performance? What's up with that?

PS: Props to whoever called Megan's dance "The Corkscrew." LMAO!

All hail Anoop! After a week of being described as a bad singer and comparisons to VFTW king Sanjaya, it seemed as if he was dead in the water. Usually, once the public decides you can't sing, changing their minds is a bigger challenge than Paula getting out a 3 syllable word on the first try. The kid from Chapel Hill came through like a champ. Simon looked like a proud papa for keeping him around. Only flaw... when Ryan asks you if you're surprised by the praise from the judges, "No" is the wrong answer. Anoop, you're back in the competition and confidence is fine but too humble and too cocky are attitudes that have a long history of hurting contestants on this show. Gracious, funny, and upbeat... that's the way to play it.

Adam, bless his heart, went out on the biggest longest limb he could find and truly showed his colors. The borderline drag queen ended all debates regarding his orientation. He's a good looking guy with a great voice and had a legit shot to win this competition if he went with an ambiguously straight yet artsy vibe. Instead, he convinced straight females everywhere that they truly had no shot with him and scared the genitals of middle American men right up into their bellies. Awesome! I can only hope he continues this approach just for the entertainment value of watching Simon squirm.

Lil Rounds did NOT sing 'I Will Always Love You' or 'How Do I Live' as the entire nation expected her to do. Thank you Lil! The judges are fools to suggest she should have taken that route. It's ridiculous to witness week in and year out how desperate they are to pigeonhole people. If she had chosen either song, the judges would have ripped her with comparisons to the originals and America would have written her off as another stereotype. Did she do her song well? Heck no. The whole performance was as awkward as a blind Scott dance move. But, for her effort, she deFantasia'd herself and actually became more likeable.

Scott... they need to avoid closeups on this guy. I can handle the Art Garfunkel hair. It's his smile. Dude looks like he's in pain every time. As for the singing, he bores the hell out of me and the vocals are the weakest in the group. It's time for America to stop sympathizing with his disability and be honest about his performance ability. It's time to let him go.

Is anyone else getting sick of Kara's commentary? Every week she proves to be little more than a glory note whore. Belting out the power notes has its place as do rifs and falsettos. But that is clearly ALL this woman wants to hear ALL the time. Too much of that crap clutters a song so badly that you can't even find a melody or appreciate the big moments when you get there. Why not forget choosing a song altogether and just have a world's loudest Do Re Mi rif competition if that's all you think people care about. Vocal chops are great but I buy songs because, get this, I like the complete songs you ignorant sex fiend.

Michael Sarver sucked (in air as he was gasping for breath) but the producers must have told the judges to make nice to the hick. Kara's "how special for you to remember ALL THOSE words" made me sick. Hey bitch, when an artist does a WHOLE CONCERT with 20 songs, how does he remember ALL THOSE WORDS?? He should have done "Friends in Low Places" so I could flash back to my college bar days. (Get enough cheap beer in you and you'll sing along, too!)

Allison sang well, like she always does. "You could sing the alphabet!" I guess it's a change from the phone book line, especially as Paula (I think) said THAT about her LAST WEEK.

Kris was there.

Lil gets my eternal thanks for NOT doing "I Will Always Love Poo" and simultaneously blowing everyone's mind, as it seems we were all expecting her to do that song. I also give her props for attempting to do a country song as a country song. It may serve her well in 3 weeks when the judges decide to tell her to mix it up a bit and not always do R&;B songs.

Adam was like a goddam snake charmer. I loved his performance in a non-ironic, non-VFTW way. I will now go say 4 hail Marys and 1 hello Dolly as penance.

Scott sang better last night than any time I have heard him perform this entire season-to-date. That is not saying much, but it is interesting that on the heels of his one satisfactory performance he will probably go home. Kudos to Scott for sassing Paula ("We could move it [the piano] closer") and for giving us the peek behind the curtain with the "I lost a lot of hat draws this week" comment.

Alexis should have done "9 to 5". Hell, somebody should have done "9 to5." Alexis made me laugh tonight. Simon called it "too samesounding" (or something like that) and Alexis said "what does that mean?" Fucking stupid, nubile-young-boy-bodied, skanky ho, it means you tried to sound like Dolly and failed.

Gokey sucked a big fat Carrie Underwood dick. Shitty song, shitty jacket, shitty performance. NEXT.

To Anoop. *sigh* Why do you torture me? You sang well, but it was boring as all hell. Please, either stop taking this seriously and pander to us, or go the hell home and go back to school. I'm sure your weeks on the show will keep you in pussy for the remainder of your college experience.

Megan's dress was boobalicious, and yet it was still weird. Didn't we all know she'd be doing Patsy Cline? I thought it would be "Crazy" and even though it wasn't, it STILL WAS!! I agree with Simon; she should have the flu every week.

Matt is an enigma to me. He sucks in every possible way, but the judges seem to love him and think that others will too. He's ugly, he sings horribly, and he plays the piano passibly. What's to love? I didn't even listen to the song; I was too busy scooping poop out of my guinea pigs' cages. My evening was more satisfying that way.

I am in no way looking forward to tonight, except to see Scott go home and the judges awkwardly decide not to save him.

I thought Alison's weird speaking tone/impediment came out in her song which was weird, because I hadn't noticed that before.

Megan and Alexis picked the songs I thought they would do from the list. I thought Megan sounded horrible, there were a couple of notes where it seemed like her voice croaked into nothing and she had a nervous tremor in her voice throughout. I was really surprised the judges liked it. But at the end of the show we got to see her rehearsal footage in the montage and she sounded a lot better, her voice was much smoother. Since we know the judges base the critiques on the rehearsals (thanks Pauler!), it explains it a bit better.

Who cares? This is a satire board.

And Scotty Mac is not going anywhere. I'm sure they'd be a lot more concerned about the lawsuits generated by violating the American Disabilities Act than what they could do with him during the dance numbers. Scotty's performance was good enough to make the tour, and sympathy votes will carry him at this point, so they absolutely can't eliminate him for his disability.

Gaziza,

Megan wasn't at the dress rehearsal. Either they used her performance from the show, or they had her do a quickie before the live show. I wasn't paying attention to the recap, so I can't compare.

Adam's performance was awesome indeed. He's on his own orbit. He's shown he's got balls bigger than Madonna's. His was the only performance that prevented me from slitting my wrist while watching this show.