Orlando is um... Magical.

I liked the Orlando auditions.  Lots of hams, lots of talent and lots of criminals.  Yes, it follows the Idol Audition Script but it's the people, good, bad and crazy people not the production that makes it work.

Our guest judge, for one day at least is Kristin Chenoweth.  She's a Broadway star with great singing talent.  She was perky and fun and she actually added something.  Good for Kristin.

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Superhero Theo starts it off.   He's got drag make-up and a cape.  But he's not terrible, even though the judges pretend like he is.  So basically he's not funny bad, just bad.  Kara gives a cluelessly funny kiss-off "You're better than all that, and you smell nice." 

Since Theo was bad next up is Sob Story Seth who is good (in story terms.  In reality he's mediocre.)  Seth's son is autistic and his life is hard.  Seth is pleasant enough but dull.  Kristin points out that he was singing a Gershwin song, thereby adding more as a judge in one day than Randy has done for the entire series.  Seth will never be heard from again, so yet another Sob Story exploited for ratings.

Whoo! Two singers and 20 minutes killed.  Still think your odds are good of getting on TV, 9,998 fools from Orlando?  Well we knew Chicken Dude and Demon Guy would make it on TV.  But can they sing?  We will never know.

A dude named Jermaine sings "Smile" a Tony Bennett song in a modern soul style.  He's got a great voice and he's pretty.  I'm shocked that they let a good singer without a sob story make it to Hollywood.

Shelby is the final singer in "Day 1" thereby completing a mini Idol Audition Plot.  See, last singer with a Sob story (she is missing a facial nerve and can't move the right side of her face.) dramatically makes it or fails.  Shelby's singing is overwrought and she forgets the lyrics, but the Judges feel sorry for her and let her through to Hollywood.  Shelby would have some serious Blind Scott VFTW potential but sadly doesn't make the Final 24.  Hmm, could her golden ticket be due more for her negligible singing talent or for her facial nerve condition?  Nah, Idol would never pander for ratings like that, would they?  

Muscles McGee and Nerd Guy are Golden ticket winners who looked interesting in their 2 seconds of screen time.

Next up is Beat Box Blake Redux, AKA Beat Box Jay.  He does his own vocal tuning.  Beat Box Jay is pretty good at beat boxing but he's no Blake.  Simon says "I'm soaking wet... I want to take a shower... With Jay."  But ultimately Simon sats "no" because he remembers how Blake cost him a few mil.  Jay is older, balder and less talented than Blake, but makes it to Hollywood anyway.  Another VFTW victory... if he made the Finals, which he doesn't.

We get a quick montage of three random girl singers, one of whom is Janell Wheeler, a Finalist.

Exotic Dancer Cornelius is next.  He's terrible until he does the splits where he rips his pants and breaks his coccyx.  Simon sees wiener so he sends him to Hollywood.  Hmm, Cornelius does stripper moves and can't sing.  I love this guy.  

Then we meet Bernadette and Amanda, two hyper-tanned New Jersey sisters who are actually quirky and amusing.  Their family also runs a Home Hair Salon.  That's two Home Salons in two nights.  Is this a new trend in America that I'm missing out on?  Neither of the sisters can sing but they're cute so they both make it to Hollywood.  Captain Obvious Kara makes this brilliant observation, "Are you from Jersey?  Something tells me you're from Jersey."  Yeah, would that "something" be their resumes sitting on your damn desk Kara?  

Here's where the show gets really good:

Tweaker Jarrod.  He picks "Amazing Grace, got to give it up to God."  Jarrod is terrible with a grating metal singing voice.  He's summarily dismissed but refuses to leave.  Then it gets even better.  Jarrod treats us to still more Chainsaw-bad "Amazing Grace", then STILL refuses to leave and he gets tackled, beat up, arrested and tazed by the Idol Security.  He's escorted out in handcuffs, because "That's the only way I go out."  This is really awesome.  At the end Simon quips, "So, yes or no?"  Randy The Brain Surgeon doesn't get the joke and pointlessly responds, "It's a no, man."  Randy, you are a walking tool box.  I've owned goldfish that are smarter than you.  Way to over-achieve, dawg.

Finally, in the Sob Story Pimp Slot, Prison Matt tells us he robbed a bank with a BB Gun.  Wow, he's VFTW worthy without singing a note.  Matt doesn't make the Final 24, so yet another sob story is exploited for ratings.  Although Matt's Sob Story is less tragic and more tragically funny than most of them.

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And that's the show.  We see some finalists.  We see some crazy-bad singers and it all wraps up in an hour.  That's how Idol should do it every week.  Good show.

GRADE: A.