Hollywood Part 2: Everybody Puke!

We're back for VFTW's favorite time of season...Gah-Roops! as people will forever have their reputations destroyed just to be on a failing karaoke show. We begin with a flashback to Symone Black's awesome wipeout from last night. The contestants form a Jesus Circle. Jesus thinks long and hard about it, and he decides I won't kill this one. But I am going to give her an overbearing stage dad who'll drive her to madnees. I'm also going to make Randy fat, turn Ryan's skin orange and give J-Lo a gigantic ass. And this medical moment is brought to you by Sprite, which seems to magically revive Idol contestants and, by coincidence, also sponsors this show. With Symone now off to the hospital, we get on to advancing Jeremy Rosado, who may be joining Symone at the hospital soon if he doesn't lose some weight, and Nico Starr, who the only thing I know about him is that he has a dumbass name. Meanwhile, Lauren Mink must go back to changing diapers at the special school she works at while Ethan Jones can crawl back under the rock he came from.

With the absolute dregs now drained away, 185 wannabes get to do Gah-Roops!, an experience that looks as pleasant as being a prisoner at Guantanamo. We see flashbacks to Hollywood Weeks past when Brenna Gethers Bumped! her way into our hearts, Bailie Brown learned that God loves Jersey Girls and The Brittenum Twins Didn't Do Gah-Roops!!! This year the show has wisely made contestants from Day 1 and 2 mix in order to break up little clicks, a move the brings loads of VFTW drama as these contestants have to search for a group like desperate wannabes with their heads cut off! We see Tent Girl Amy Brumfield again, and she has brought some disgusting disease that festers in her tent that's making everyone fall faster than poison gas.

But even worse than some disease to this motley group is a cop, as Alisha Bernhardt would have better luck finding someone to work with on Death Row. Tent Girl still can't find a group, maybe because she's making each one sick about 30 seconds after she visits it. But not being in a group isn't as rough as the experience Heejun is having with some big hick he's with in his group. Brianna is also having a hard time finding a group as everyone can see she's trouble from a mile away.

Now that the groups have formed, we see them practicing, everyone except cop Alisha, who hopefully isn't this pathetic at finding a suspect as she is at finding a group. We see returning contestant Brielle Van Hugel from last year, who seemed to have learned very well from Pia how to be a bitch as she's going all Napoleon on her group. Brielle's stage mom is watching like a hawk, ready to slap anyone who questions her dictator daughter's rule!

A lot of groups are doing Hit Em Up Style, bringing back memories of Janay Castane's epic VFTW version with her crazy robot arms, making me think Heejun's got to try this song out at some point. Fell Off The Stage Girl Symone is back after being treated for dehydration and a severe case of overbearing stage dad. In much worse shape than her is Tent Girl, who's now been identified as Patient Zero in the deadliest bug since The Black Plague. Kidney Stone Boy in Heejun's group isn't feeling too well either and at this point, over half the contestants are either puking or passing out. And the other half are bitching and whining as this is shaping up as the best Hollywood Week in a while!

But someone too strong for a simple epidemic is Heejun, who gathers strength while others weaken for his ultimate showdown with Cowboy Guy. Heejun don't do Line Dance! He hates country music. He hates first names too as he doesn't even know this hick's name, but Heejun doesn't need names to cut you, which is what he's just about to do. Heejun now hates cowboys. Even the Dallas Cowboys.

Time to go back to the two recurring themes of tonight, contestants puking and cop Alisha making an ass of herself. These nobodies have only a few hours to put something semi-presentable together but a few decades wouldn't be enough time based on what I'm seeing. And that shouldn't surpise you as this show is made up of people who weren't good enough to make it in show business or complete amateurs who have less credibility in music than Paris Hilton and David Hasselhoff. We'll be back next Wednesday to see what all of these geniuses can come up with, unless Tent Girl causes them all to drop dead first.