After last week's Titanic-sized disaster, this show has no idea what to do anymore so they threw a bunch of darts at the wall and we land up tonight with an hour long show at the random time of 9:30. We find out who out of the groups and Young Adults made it to the Finals, although some of the excitement is taken out of it as VFTW spoiled 95% of the finalists two months ago. First up is Demi Lovato's group, who must be thrilled to be mentored by a teenage Disney queen. Jennel Garcia's dropped out of school. She has no job. This is how someone lands up being a stripper, which explains Jennel's performances. She makes it and by default becomes the favorite to have a wardrobe malfunction on live shows.
Next up is Willie Jones and just like when Scotty McCreepy was on Idol, every time we see Willie we always get a clip of him singing babylockthemdoors. Willie makes it and now Obama isn't the only Black man country music fans won't be voting for this November.
It always a bad idea when these people quit their jobs to try out for these shows but Nick Youngerman should have no problem getting his back now as he's a rapping toilet cleaner who has as much talent as the stuff he cleans out of the bowl.
Paige Thomas is next and her confidence has been completely crushed after having to deal with Cece. Paige is fodder but makes it as Cece needs someone to beat around. And speaking of being beaten around, here comes Jillian Jensen. Jillian's proving to be very consistent as once again, she's the loser and gets cut. And there's only one spot left for...
Cece! After being told by Demi that she isn't very likeable (How dare she!), Cece is trying to do like Mitt Romney and make people like her. She starts off with some fake modesty that's as authentic as a three-dollar bill and she shifts it into fifth gear with fake sobbing! Of course she makes it and I predict she gets a makeover for live shows that makes Ke$ha look demure!
Next up are a whole bunch of VFTW candidates as it's time for the groups. Acts like Lyric 145, because if two Will.I.Am's and a chick with an eyepatch isn't VFTW, I don't know what is. They make it, as opposed to Dope Crises, and the girl who was in their group seems to have gotten the Jimmy Hoffa treatment as we'll never find out what happened to her.
An act I wish were hanging with Jimmy Hoffa is Douchebag3, who once again give us another gratuitous shirtless shot, and then a second. An act I'd much rather see shirtless is Sister C, and they make it through.
Time for the fake acts. Simon would love another One Direction, so it goes to show how hideous the fake boy band was as Playback are cut. The fake girl band makes it and they would celebrate with if they didn't hate each other so much.
That's it for this part of the show, which was just as dull as when it first showed last week. It's finally time for live shows, which starts...God knows when. And it's time to hit reset as what we've been waiting months for has finally arrived...how long will it take Britney to have a meltdown on live TV!
Whenever the first live performance and results show are, I assume the judges will be making the first cuts so we won't have a VFTW pick. But then the judges become irrelevant...and VFTW becomes very relevant! Stay tuned...