That may be the funniest thing I have ever read. I have a NEW theory! Brook has an evil twin. The real Brook is tied up in the broom closet and was the one who had lots of golden locks and sang like Carly SIMON. The evil one is making a total a** out of her by using a flat iron on her hair and puckering up saying "ITS OKAAAAAAAY" a hundred times. Do you think this is possible anyone?

I've been enjoying this blog for a while so I thought I'd finally take the plunge. Herewith, my sincere suggestions for our top 8 on how they can help themselves. Obviously nobody else is speaking truth to them.

First of all a general comment. If these are the best 8 out of the 900 million people that auditioned then we are one sorry-ass country of losers. And 2 of the 8 had to be imported!

Syesha - You're like a wind-up American Idol doll that smiles inappropriately during your performances. If the lyrics are sad, look sad. If the lyrics are about love, look like you're in love. See how it works?

Michael - You're not as good as any of the stars you try to impersonate, so take a page out of David C's book and find a cover nobody ever heard before. Then pray that your looks carry you into each next new round.

Kristy - I have to be honest on this one. I'm still not fully recovered from Eight Days a Week. It's like when I got sick from Lima Beans when I was 9 and still can't eat them. My only advice is to sit through all your remaining performances because you move like Steve Martin trying to dance in "The Jerk".

Brooke - You're breaking my heart. I was actually rooting for you. I like your unique voice and you seem committed to the music. But for crying out loud can you please take an energy pill or something. One set-the-roof-on-fire performace could turn it all around for you but I'm starting to think you don't have it in you. Sell your one trick pony to Kristy and make everyone happy.

Archuleta - The shy kid routine is getting old. You'll probably make it to the top 3 on the 8th grade girl vote alone. But cracking the final 2 or winning will require that you show some coconuts and expand your base. Like Brooke, I used to think you had it in you but now I'm not so sure.

Jason - First of all, you 'da man and should really be the VFTW pick. You obviously have a secret plan that's working so why listen to my advice. If I were to offer some advice it would be this. Shake your dreds from side to side and smack Ryan in the face just one time. It would be the moment that propels you to victory in this thing.

David C. - What the hell was that mess this week? Whoops, that's not very constructive. OK, how about this. To show your versatility try looking up and to the right once instead of up and to the left when you do that patented Cook look.

Carly - My sincere advice is to start bracing yourself for the fact that you're not gonna win. It feels like you know the end is near so with each performance you're trying harder and harder to extend your 15 minutes of fame. It just seems desperate now. Stop trying so hard and people may warm to you and realize that you actually can sing.

Bottom 3 predictions for tonight - Carly, Syesha, Kristy.

Going home - Syesha

Agreed. I love the Israel Kamakawiwo Ole' version. The first time I heard it was on a movie soundtrack, and I've noticed it on several since. I think part of the problem is that people thinked he flubbed up the lyrics, but since he was doing the Iz version, he actually got them right.

I'm 34. I think Brooke looks older than me.