--Man, Paula was on point during the performance show. I guess she waited until AFTER the show to get loaded, suck down a vial of vicodin and bone the contestants. She actually made good points, and completed her sentences. See, it's easier to judge them when you admit that they sucked, isn't it Paula?
--Was that the most Fast-Forwarable Results show? Big surprise, David Vs. David. I could’ve skipped the ENTIRE SEASON from Final 12 on.
--Is the title of Fantasia’s new song, “Bore Me” a critique on this season? Because that’s how I feel. The theme for Season 7 was Boring with a capital “BORING.”
--One thing you CANNOT say about Fantasia’s performance last night was that it was boring. Lots of words apply. Over-the-top. Ear-shredding. Funky. Misguided hair. Gutsy. Entertaining. For whole stretches it seemed like Fantasia was channeling Tina Turner, which is not a bad idea, really. Fantasia would’ve won THIS season, too.
--I have to admit I accidentally skipped Fantasia's performance, but I watched it on youtube this morning. I skipped the whole results show actually, except for the tension-free booting of Syesha. I can't emphasize more how Idol BADLY needs to get a whole lot better next season. All you have to do is hear about something good happening on a show you didn't watch and you can see it the next day. No need to worry about missing a thing, despite what Diane Warren and Aerosmith will have you believe. There's plenty about this season I wish I missed.
--The INTERNETS is to blame! The lamest excuse I've heard for Idol's plummeting ratings is "because of the Writer's Strike." How does that even make sense? If anything, Idol's ratings should go UP with nothing else on TV. Does 99% of America even know that the writer's went on strike? Certainly the Idol Teeny-Boopers don't give a rip.
--Entertainment Weekly wrote a pretty good article about how to fix Idol.
Here: http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20007164_20171835_20199038,00.html
Maybe if there is enough noise then the Producers actually WILL make changes. Fingers crossed.
--I'm done giving the Idol Producers really good ideas. If the show sucks next season it's not for my lack of trying.
--Okay, you twisted my arm. One more, idea for improving Idol. Make it REALLY about the singing... Give all of the Idols 3 minutes for their songs. I know, if someone sucks in 90 seconds, imagine how terrible they'll be in 180... Yeah, exactly. VFTW nirvana.
But here's the truly brilliant part... You get rid of the awful results show and replace it with the second night of performances. Each night you could announce the losers on a 5 minute segment of the Fox Local News. You have the same number of TV hours and you get the Finals results, but they're all performance hours. No filler.
--When the singers dwindle to around 6, THEN you could start doing a results show. But by then we'd only have to suffer through 5 crappy sing-along numbers, 5 crappy Ford commercials, and 5 embalmed has-been musical legends "teaching" the Idols how to be current and relevent. Or better yet, kill the Idol Medleys AND car commercials and just have Idols from the Past perform to shame the newbies.
------
So, I'm conducting an impromptu poll. What kinds of things do you guys and girls, the VFTW faithful want me to write about? If anything. I mean, I could take a vacation, too. That's cool by me.
By the way, you guys rock. You make this whole kooky VFTW experiment fun.
And for the record I don't think I can write about "Dancing For Quarters(So You Think You Can Dance)" because I don't know anything about dancing, I can't really write about it in an entertaining way, and I don't want to suffer through Nigel Lithgoe being a smug prick on my TV set for 3 months. Oh, and "America's Got Talent" blows, too. Sorry but I can't put myself through that one again.
So I'll take any suggestions you guys have.
See you next week for the American Idol Finale Suck-Stravaganza. It should be umm, long!
--Chan
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Magoo, you've done it again!
Location: Cartoon land
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Dreamcrusher
Location: Down the rabid whole.
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