Top 11: BEST.SHOW.EVER. Sanjaya Rules and Sligh Gives Us a Shoutout

Best Episode of Idol EVER. EVER. I mean, come on now. Between Sanjaya giving the most VFTW worthy performance in the history of the show and Chris Sligh giving me a shoutout on national TV and pissing off the judges (and probably producers)… I must say I love this show. I’ve got to vote for Sanjaya out of loyalty since he’s the VFTW pick, but I don’t see how Chris Sligh can’t be our backup when Sanjaya leaves if he loves VFTW so much. And we love him! Chris, you are the man. And Sanjaya, you are hysterical. I love them both so much right now, I want to kiss them. You guys are so awesome.

Do you even really want me to talk about the other performances? For real. The show started off boring with Haley singing Tell Him. Boring. Go home, Haley. Then Chris Richardson does a terrible, off key rendition of Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying. It was terrible and the judges called it modern and his “best performance ever.” They must all be drunk. Blake Lewis also has his worst performance ever with The Time of the Season. It’s painful to listen to, completely off key, and ridiculously cheesy when he tries to be sexy. Again, the judges love it.

OK, this isn’t getting to the good stuff fast enough. Stephanie is boring. My TV cut out in Chicago when Phil and LaKisha performed, because Fox Chicago must suck. Then Jordin delivered an amazingly great performance (not by VFTW standards) and proved she could probably win. I Who Have Nothing may be one of the best performances of the season. But who cares!

Then, my friends, we have Sanjaya Malakar. Before he sings, Peter whatever his name is says that this is a voting competition, not a singing competition. Simon looked pissed. He’s so right, and I love that guy! He decides to sing You Really Got Me, and I have to say, this is the best VFTW performance in the history of American Idol. For real. We start off with a crying girl who bawls throughout the entire thing in cutaway shots. Sanjaya comes out screaming and howling, completely in the wrong key. Then he starts dancing in a manic fashion. Then, he jumps on the table and starts dancing more. He starts to go crazy, screaming… I think I had a VFTW orgasm. This is just the funniest thing I have ever seen on television. Thank you so much, Sanjaya, you have made my year. Randy and Paula liked it, probably because they’re converted Worsters, and Simon couldn’t even talk because he was so disgusted. I… love… this… show.

Gina sings Paint It Black, and it’s really off key. Whatever.

Chris Sligh then does She’s Not There. I’m a little underwhelmed by the performance, but it’s fairly good. The judges comment, and then it happens. Chris yells out “Hi, Dave”, not once, but twice. On the VFTW message board, we’ve always told contestants to give me a shoutout as a joke to show that they actually read our site. Smarterthanpickler wrote this:

This is a reminder to Chris:

Tuesday is coming, and this will be your final chance to reclaim your manhood. Remember, two simple words:

"HI DAVE"

Say these two words and I swear I will never bash you or call you a pussy again and that I'll use whatever influence I have to get you votes. Don't say these two simple words, however, and I will endlessly bash and humilate you until you are voted off the show.
The ball's in your court, chubby.

And Chris did it! This man is my hero. He wants VFTW to love him. Was it just me or did the judges look pissed? I just have to tell Chris, since we know he’s reading this site now, you are the man. Dude, we so need to go get a few drinks after this is all over and laugh about the show. You complete me. We totally can’t switch to you this week after all the work we’ve put in for Sanjaya, but if you keep it up, you’re guaranteed some VFTW votes once Sanjaya is gone.

Melinda then sings, but honestly, I was still jumping down so much, I didn’t pay attention. I was already having trouble paying attention after Sanjaya, but now I just don’t even care what No Neck sang. She sang some song well, then pretended like she’s never heard a compliment before, then had no neck, blah blah blah.

Sanjaya and Chris are my two favorite people this week. The only way to top this is to bring me money. Lots of money. And since that won’t happen, Chris and Sanjaya remain my two favorite people for the week. That episode was just pure hilarity.

I don’t care who goes home, as long as it’s not Sanjaya or Sligh. I think Sligh will be fine without our help, and we have such a mobilized army for Sanjaya, let’s hope we can pull off a double VFTW victory this week. And if the producers kick Sligh to the curb for giving us a shoutout? You always have a place at VFTW, man. That was truly awesome. I can’t get over how awesome this episode was. So my official guess? Sanjaya might be sent packing, but I think it’s Haley.