Blogs
Final 7 -- Movie Mega-Cheese*
Top 7- Lil Rounds Finally Talks Back, The Other Idols Put Me in a Coma
We’re about to embark on a historic evening, friends. For tonight, only 2 judges will comment on each performance since Bruce Gowers is such a monumental boob that he can’t make the show come in on time. And yet, the show will still run over by 4 minutes. How can this show be so terrible? I don’t know. I just know that it’s the worst show on television and I will continue to mock its overall incompetence as I tackle “sleepy ballads from shitty movies” night. If Adam hadn’t picked a song with a pulse, I might have offed myself due to pure boredom. But more on that later.
Final 8 Elimination: Scott Was Jobbed -- Post-Game Analysis
So they had to do it didn't they? Somehow with the 1-2 punch of Megan and Scott leaving in successive weeks they've sucked the life out of this otherwise mundane season. Do we really need Gokey AND Giraud hanging around? They're practically the same goofball.
Final 8: Scott Leaps Off The Stage... Vocally
8 Singers left. This is when the show gets good. Down to one hour shows. The singing is competent. And the Idol Judges look like idiots for continuously praising Gokey even when he sucks.
Actually the show isn't quite an hour. More like an hour 10 as the Producers have an unnatural obsession with having stupid judge conversations, pointless Seacrest chats with contestants, excessive baby photos and random shots of creepy "Fringe" Dude in the audience.
Top 8 (Songs from Birth Years) - Scott Shows His Punk Side, Lil Prepares to Cut a Judge
This week, the Idols sing songs from the year they fell into comas and slept the entire time. Wait, the theme is songs from the year they were born? You’d never know, as most of the contestants seemed too busy picking out lullabies to actually remind me. Maybe their parents sang these songs to bore the kids into sleeping. As if the theme wasn’t enough to make you tune out, we also had to see baby pictures, and none were as funny as David Cook’s humongous skull. Randy was a cute baby though. The other judges were all pretty ugly or annoying.
What the Top 8 Idols Need to Do to Win VFTW's Support
Now that VFTW songbird Megan is out, we need a new pick. The problem is that none of the remaining contestants even come close to her in Worsterish tendencies. But many of them are partially there. So here's my thought. I am going to give advice to the remaining 8 contestants if they'd like our support. If you take our advice, awesome, we very well may pick you. If you don't take it, well no one likes you anyway, you big poopy heads. Without further ado, here's what the remaining contestants need to do to win the VFTW vote this week, from most likely to gain our support to least likely.
Final 9: Post Game Analysis -- We miss you already, Megan. Caw! Caw!
36 million votes? Which of the 8 remaining singers inspires that kind of loyalty now that our Songbird has Flown away?
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This was an action packed Results show, yet it still felt like it was treading water. These things are so long and pointless. Oh, and on last night's "Law and Order: SVU" they call Seacrest the Devil. Awesome. For a show that spends an awful lot of time thinking up new ways to present rape they're pretty astute writers.
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Singing tonight, Lady Gaga. And next week a duet from Ms. Goo-Goo and Dr. Poopy-pants.
Tonight's Group-synch is a Cheeseriffic "Don't Stop Believin'" Journey sing-a-long. It sounded good which just proves that Journey is indestructible.
Final 9: I-Tunes Whoring Episode
Final 9: ITunes Whoring Episode.
We are repeatedly told by Seacrest that this week involves something about I-Tunes, but I can't figure out what. Basically it comes down to that the contestants can pick any famous song they want (as long as it's cleared by the parsimonious producers.) The "Pick Any Song You Want" episode is always good for a few laughs, because we realized how delightfully out of touch each of the Idols are, and how far from being contemporary recording artists they are.
And in the opening video montage I see that Gokey has man-boobs.
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Anoop -- "Caught Up" by Usher
Soporific 7 -- Movie Mega-Cheese*
*Also the title of Mike from MST3K's book about horrible movies, the EXACT kind of movies that are represented tonight.