It’s one of Simon Cowell’s favorite insults, and it once again proves just how painfully ignorant he is of the modern music scene. Someone needs to bring Cowell up to speed: cabaret is fabulous.

Name one other genre that brings the same degree of artsy eccentricity. These are songs for fire-breathers and stilt-walkers. Nobody understands the theater of music more than cabaret performers, and a recent surge in popularity has seen caba-rock and caba-pop finding mainstream success. So don your feather boa, drink some Absinthe, and listen to the music of these three amazing cabaret-inspired groups:

Antony & the Johnsons

I have been bursting to sing the praises of this New York act since day one. The group is a vehicle for lead singer/songwriter Antony Hegarty, who’s warbling, androgynous voice soars as if he were in an opera. He writes with visceral lyricism about love, inner turmoil, transgenderism, and life on the fringes. This is the auditory embodiment of "tragic beauty." If a gifted modern artist hasn’t yet recorded with Antony (like Björk, Devendra Banhart, and Rufus Wainwright), they’ve exalted him (Philip Glass, Kate Bush).

SUGGESTIONS: I’ve listened to "Fistful of Love" from I Am a Bird Now 1000+ times and am yet to get tired of it... the song may very well be my favorite (I don’t doll that title out lightly). Featuring Lou Reed and a killer saxophone section, it’s such a jazzy, old-New York tune you’ll almost forget it’s also an ode to an abusive relationship.

When you’re done falling in love with "Fistful of Love," listen to "For Today I Am a Boy," a tender song about a boy who dreams of growing up to be a woman. For souring ballads with punchy lyrics, check out "Divine" and "Cripple and the Starfish" from Antony and the Johnsons.

The Dresden Dolls

The Dresden Dolls are cult world celebrities who’ve found a mainstream foothold (blame them for all the hipsters wearing bowler hats). Amanda Palmer and Brian Viglione’s Bostonian duo call themselves "Brechtian Punk Cabaret," and one look at their onstage antics lends itself nicely to the label. Black and white striped thigh socks, suspenders, and painted whirly-gig eyebrows make up the Dolls’ look, while punch-drunk songs from the seedy underbelly of dark cabaret make up their music.

SUGGESTIONS: "Sing" from Yes, Virginia, features some rousing word play that describes today’s socio-political climate ("Sing for the President/Sing for the terrorist… you motherfuckers, you'll SING someday!"). The single "Backstabber" from the same album pairs a rock n’ roll tinkering piano melody with popping drums. And last but certainly not least, "Coin-Operated Boy"--- who doesn’t like this quirky, slightly demented track from the Dolls’ debut?

The Decemberists

"Now here’s a song about gypsies!" On stage, Colin Meloy pauses, then adds, "Not that all of our songs aren’t about gypsies."

Theremins and accordions. Giant paper-mache whales. It can only be Portland-based indie act, the Decemberists! Cabaret is just one of the many inspirations this pop-rock band draws on to create its musical style. The Decemberists have solid storytelling skills and a flare for the theatrical. Few other modern acts embrace music’s roots as a medium to narrate sagas and fables: the Decemberists’ repertoire consists of whimsical tales about roguish heroes, concubines, circus performers, Gaelic mythology, and (of course) lots of gypsies.

SUGGESTIONS: The most aptly titled track ever comes from the album Picaresque: "Mariner’s Revenge Song" is exactly what it seems to be (and should be adapted into a feature film). The riveting tale involves one creepy dead mother and a couple characters just chillin’ out in the belly of a whale. Afterward, check out the same album’s "Sixteen Military Wives" (la-di-da-di-da-di-ditta-ditta-da!), "Red Right Ankle" from Her Majesty, and (for more oddball stories) "My Mother Was a Chinese Trapeze Artist" from the band’s debut EP, 5 Songs.

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Got any ideas for upcoming Good Music Corners? Convince me at CaricaturesByLaura@yahoo.com

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