| mamagaga |
 Posted: May 20, 2009 - 7:50am |
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Joined: 02 Apr 2009
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Producer's pick = "bad song choice"
Kara looked really disappointed after Adam's performance of her shitpile. But after Kris's performance she looked like she wanted to puke. Notice that's when she decided to give credit (blame) to her co-writers.
Awful show, awful season. The judges didn't even try to disguise the fact that they have predetermined all their comments.
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| Ash |
| Posted: May 20, 2009 - 8:11am |
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Joined: 24 Apr 2008
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What nobody seems to have picked up here is that the two songs picked by the two Simons for Adam to sing, One and A Change Is Gonna Come, are both songs about social inclusion.
Cos he's gay. See? See, we're right on, we know where it's at with the brothers and... er... yo yo yo my nig... um.... no, that's not right is it... um... be out and... um... proud and stuff... we're here and we're quee.... are we allowed to say that word...?
The fact that neither song is actually about being gay is neither here nor there. It's protest stuff, and, well, they're all the same really aren't they?
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| TFB |
| Posted: May 20, 2009 - 8:44am |
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Joined: 17 Apr 2008
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Without reading all the comments, just the first page- all good comments - But as usual I have to offer a REALITY CHECK.
Neither of these guys are "great" singers - Madame Glambert IS a Great ENTERTAINER (but so was Taylor Hicks!)
and the guy-who's-not-Adam is a great interpreter of current smooth-jazz/snoozy listening/Boy band caliber "nice" music. Both MIGHT have a bright future ahead of them if they are smart enough to realize what they ARE - and what they are NOT - i.e. mega-world-wide-Superstar "Icon" Rock stars.
Kara has already made more money in the music business than I could earn in my job in 10 lifetimes - but she's still a no-talent hack who churns out completely insipid garbage. That song, IMO, was written for Dead-wife-pimp, but clearly was staged last night to make Adam sound good and Kris sound poor/weak - and it worked. Simon outright dis'd the song after Madame sang it, and after monkey face tried to sing it even Doucha-guardia was apologizing for what a piece of shit it is!!!
Both these guys seem like nice enough people. Its a shame though, that I-dull is just a rigged "Reality" show. Entertaining? sure, in a totally unintended S0-Bad-Its-Funny way, but it could be a great competition if it really WAS about finding a great singer.
Reality is that neither Madame nor Monkey-face are really any better than the singers you'd expect to see in the average show in Vegas, or a good bar band in any major city.
PS - I sorta liked "Glee" too. Sad when an intentionally corny & schmaltzy show is more entertaining than the supposedly serious "hit music" show, huh?
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| Rotting Corpse |
| Posted: May 20, 2009 - 8:58am |
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Joined: 17 Mar 2009
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Does anyone remember Paula, after Kris' second performance, telling him, "Marvin Gaye is proud of you?" I guess nobody told her that Marvin Gaye's been dead for 25 years.
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| Craptastic |
| Posted: May 20, 2009 - 9:06am |
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Joined: 15 Mar 2008
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It's such a shame that someone as talentless as Kara can make millions in the music biz. I mean, what a lame response to Simon's criticism of the lyrics: "Yeah yeah, I know." She didn't finish the sentence: "Yeah, yeah I know the song is stupid, but I don't have the talent or imagination to write something better." My comment when Adam was singing it was, "NO ONE could sound good singing this piece of shit! Even Robert Plant [IMO the best singer in the history of rock] would suck at it [although he would prolly be able to do a great rockin' mockery of it, like he did to country music in general with "Hot Dog"]".
Kara literally makes me feel queezy. And a bit of pity. The pity I feel for her evaporates though, when I remember that she's most likely too stupid and self-absorbed to realize that the money she's made was all through accidental twists of fate (and well-timed blow jobs), not true talent or ability.
Until last night, I wanted Adam to win, but hearing the kind of retarded shit he'll be forced to sing if he does, now I'm not so sure. I think he is talented, and I'd like to see what he does if he isn't being dragged around chained to back of an AI garbage truck.
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| fatboysinger |
| Posted: May 20, 2009 - 9:35am |
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Joined: 16 Apr 2009
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To quote Simon, "That was bloody awful". The verbal head pats by the judges to Kris after his rendition of "Earthquakes and Tsunamis" (or whatever natural disasters were enumerated) was nauseating. You've had a great run, you deserve to be here, etc. Dang right he deserves to be there. He busted his hump. Their forgone conclusion is that Adam is the winner. Wake up and smell the java, you four...Monkey-boy outsang Glambert after all was said and done. But Adam did dress better. Of course.
Maybe it's too late to mention, but with all of Kara's "industry experience" you would think that she would know how to work a microphone. Why does she insist on leaning into the desk mic when she talks, and pegging the meter on the soundboard? No wonder the sound in general is so crappy on Idol...the techs are probably deaf now after having their eardrums pierced by Kara.
And did Randy get dressed in the dark last night? Who picked that outfit? It looked like something my colorblind dad would have put together.
Simon, button your shirt...Paula, stay out of the tanning bed...
I'm afraid that tonights show is going to be equally as bad, unless they trot out the freaks and losers from the auditions. Here's hoping.
__________________________
"Don't let being good be the enemy of being great."
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| Van Dergraaf |
| Posted: May 20, 2009 - 9:52am |
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Joined: 07 Mar 2007
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Does anyone remember Paula, after Kris' second performance, telling him, "Marvin Gaye is proud of you?" I guess nobody told her that Marvin Gaye's been dead for 25 years.
I caught that. I think she meant that as opposed to "Marvin Gaye is rolling over in his grave, just like Sam Cooke did after Glambert's shrieking debuachery of his song."
__________________________
Gokey rhymes with karaoke.
Both suck.
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| tantrum |
| Posted: May 20, 2009 - 9:55am |
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Joined: 29 Feb 2008
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That episode was awful. No Boundaries make "Do I Make You Proud" (Taylor Hicks) sounds like a classic.
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| alknows |
| Posted: May 20, 2009 - 10:50am |
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Joined: 12 Mar 2009
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I agree with a little bit of everything that's been posted here. Adam: great performer, great theater voice, not so much a record-making listen without seeing him voice. The other guy: Amusing facials, good I need a nap now quality to his voice. Infinitely more 'listenable on a radio' than Adam. And that song did blow goats. Made absolutely no freakin' sense. Don McLean's American Pie made more sense. (Listen to it some time, it makes No Boundaries sound like a well-constructed novel.) Before anyone mentions American Pie is a 1,000 times more entertaining than No Boundaries, I get that, just the lyrics make no sense. And someone please blow the stairs up as Shecrest does his weekly descent from the heavens. What a tool.
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| Mikebat |
| Posted: May 20, 2009 - 10:53am |
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Joined: 16 Apr 2009
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I thought the most hilarious moment was when Simon commented that Adam's "Mad World" reminded him of Phantom of the Opera, then Randy jumps in with "No Twilight! Twilight! That's Twilight! Just like Twilight!" to try and rally the teen girl votes for Adam.
The local Fox News channel chick said she thought Adam's "Mad World" was too Harry Potter for her liking. I lol'd.
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So here we are, the Penultimate episode of Idol Season 8, and the last competition episode. Tonight gave us still more proof that Kris Allen (who?) is a gamer. He went head to head with Adam Glambert and in my humble opinion, he came out on top. Lambert brought his usual professionalism to the show so there really weren't any surprises. Of course this being American Idol, we were punished with 5 mid-tempo ballads including the Worst Song I've Heard Since Last Year's Idol Winning Song.
The big story, and the true VFTW victory is how clueless the Idol Producers continue to be with their musical tastes. Year after year they torpedo their own Idol's musical credibility before their career gets going with a thoroughly awful Idol coronation song. It's like they're compulsively searching for the absolutely shittiest songs known to mankind. This one was written by Idol's own Kara Doucha-Guardi.
Simon likes to rank the performances head to head. And so do I. So let's get on with it.
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Ryan (Dramatic Pause) Seacrest dubs this battle Conway vs. California, and Guy Next Door vs. Guy-Liner. We get it, Adam is gay and Kris comes from a small town. And you can tell the Idol Producers really, REALLY want Adam to win because they're setting up the battle between Conway, Arkansas, population 10,000, versus the UNITED FORCES OF THE ENTIRE MIGHTY STATE OF CALIFORNIA. And Adam.
10 minutes in and nothing of import has happened.
Adam Lambert -- Personal song choice -- "Mad World."
Good choice Adam. This song plays to his best attributes, namely his theatricality, his beautiful tenor voice, and his emotional connection with songs. Glambert gets the Professional Wrestling entrance, riding the stage elevator to the top of the stairs amidst billowing green smoke while dressed like an extra from The Matrix with trench coat and combat boots. Did I mention Adam is cool?
I liked his earlier performance of this song, and I think he sings an album-ready version of it tonight.
GRADE: A --
Kara immediately gets on my bad side with her ebullient, over the top
praise. She's insufferable. Paula looks puffy and beat up, wearing a
bra-less green dress. Cover up woman, your ribs are showing. She also
looks like she fell asleep on a tanning bed set to Deep Fat Fry. Her
tan has an unwholesome purple hue. Simon is merely trying to out-boob
Paula with his shirt unbuttoned to the navel. Paula still has more
chest hair.
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Kris Allen -- Personal Song Choice -- "Ain't No Sunshine"
Another excellent performance from Kris. His voice was solid, his song was nicely textured and emotional, without going over the top. I finally could hear his piano playing over the strident backing band!
Paula mumbles something about "Allen-izing his songs." You mean singing watered down Dave Matthews/Jason Mraz, funky white boy versions of songs out of the side of his mouth? I kid of course.
GRADE: A
ROUND 1 WINNER -- I'm calling it a tie. Both singers played to their strengths and neither screwed up.
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Adam -- Producers Choice -- "A Change Is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke.
Producer Simon Fuller may be as rich as King Midas, but unlike that mythical king, everything Fuller touches does NOT turn to gold, it turns to shit, musically.
Who the hell looks at Adam and thinks, yeah '50s R&B/Soul? And then thinks, "I will be so rich I will wipe my ass with money."
Personally I'd go with some David Bowie, Queen, or even Aerosmith. Something rocking, Glam and screaming. I just don't get this pick. I'm guessing the music rights were cheap.
This song plays to all the worst tendencies of Adam, namely tuneless screeching, tortured facial expressions, and his compulsion to push theatricality over musicality. This was a truly awful performance mainly because Adam should NEVER sing the blues. Also the crappy backing guitar was entirely too loud for the lame blues chords he was playing.
GRADE: FAIL -- If this is how the Producers see Adam moving ahead in his career then Adam will be playing county fairs two weeks after his album comes out.
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Kris -- Producer's Choice -- "What's Going On" by Marvin Gaye
This is another thoroughly awful pairing of song to performer by Simon "I Poop Gold Bullion" Fuller. The song is a jazzy social statement on poverty and the Vietnam War that became an anthem of the era. Marvin Gaye had an unworldly three octave voice, and layered his vocals to haunting effect on "What's Going On."
Kris Allen has what we'll politely call a two-octave range. He sings a poppy, funky white boy acoustic version of the song that starts off too low to enable him to even hit the notes in the chorus. Kris' talents are credibly singing contemporary pop songs and connecting with them in new and interesting ways. So of course he gets to sing a song that's 38 years old, that he could never hope to connect with in any meaningful way.
Kris didn't sound bad, but the song is much bigger than a 90 second version that Kris learned earlier this week.
GRADE: C -- Simon says Adam "won this round by a million per cent" and the Producers have branded Adam as "The most contemporary artist ever to hit the Idol stage." Kris has repeatedly been the most contemporary as he sounds good on popular songs from THIS YEAR. Adam's best song was the "Donnie Darko" version of "Mad World" from 8 years ago, and his wheelhouse is '70s Hard Rock and Glam. So yeah, that's certainly "contemporary." (NOTE THE SARCASM.) And don't get me wrong, I love '70s Hard Rock and Heavy Metal. But is there any question who the Producers want to win?
ROUND 2 WINNER -- I think Kris wins this round.
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Shitty Idol Coronation Song -- "No Boundaries"
The song is an over-wrought, and shallow collection of cliches about the weather, that even Simon can't help but mock. It is shit, and it is impossible to sound good singing it.
Adam is once again given the Star treatment as he gets backing vocals to make his version sound bigger, fuller and more dramatic.
Kris doesn't get any backing vocals and his stripped down version of the song exposes his thin voice that's ill-suited for the Celine Dion/Mariah Carey vocal exercise of schmaltz that is "No Boundaries."
Adam gets a verbal tongue bath from the judges and is anointed "God's Gift To Pop Music."
Kris doesn't get ONE SINGLE COMMENT ON HIS PERFORMANCE. Kara damns him with faint praise by suggesting Kris' fans vote based on "his body of work this season." Randy tells him, "You should be proud for getting this far."
I CALL SHENANIGANS. The Producers are clearly in Adam's corner and aren't even apologizing about their homer-ism. And mind you, this is a week after Simon outright begged fans to vote for Adam so that he could win.
I like Adam and I think he's talented, but he's been on cruise control for a couple weeks now while Kris has been clawing to the top every week.
WINNER ROUND 3 -- A too-close-to-call TIE of Crappy Proportions.
SEASON 8 WINNER: I think Kris won this night, and he deserves to be the Idol. Also I want Adam to have a successful musical career FAR AWAY From the Evil Idol Producers, so he needs to lose.
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Tomorrow's two hour Finale promises to be the shit-storm that it is every season. I'm watching. But I have to say, I got more musical chills from one well-performed, well-harmonized version of "Don't Stop Believing" on "Glee" tonight than I got in an entire season of live performances on Idol. And more laughs too.
Suck on that Evil Idol Producers.
--Chan
__________________________
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