| jungleboy6996 |
 Posted: May 21, 2009 - 5:39am |
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Joined: 12 Mar 2009
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okay to sum it up as simon is fond of saying...america loves a train wreck. this is why we watch american idol in the first place. We love our normans..we love our tatitanna deltoros ( am I am the one that thinks shes hot?)..hell we even love our "improved" bikini girl..
Yet we bitch when the multimillion dollar show can't even turn on a microphone??
I think we love to bitch/whine/complain and yes blog...
The finally was actually pretty good..and this is coming from someone that doesn't like lionelle ritchie and his brand of music. There was a good mix between sob stories of the contestants/bad music numbers by the rest of the idol losers..yes I call them losers because there is a reason that the majority of them didn't finish in the top five.( little rounds?? please) and some comedy with those awards.
I think Kris will have an "okay" career...sure beat sitting home in arkansas picking his toes and playing for the college crowds. He will never be the teen heartrob..he will never be jack johnson/dave matthews. I think his success will lie in the help/promotion he receives from american idol each year.
I think adam is a mixed bag. He sounds like a rocker from the 70s...which is great and unique...yet when is the last time you heard a modern day "rocker" on the pop stations. there is a reason that brittney spears' nutty ass is still making $$$.
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Grab a napkin Homey..
You just got served!!!
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| VFTW-fan |
| Posted: May 21, 2009 - 5:33am |
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Joined: 21 May 2009
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Love your site and what you do - lots of laughs over the years. I'm also an Idol fan and kinda genuinley sad that Adam didn't win.
Just wanted to say to everyone (worsters and Idol-lovers) - everyone is obsessing over this "100 million votes!" and "Only 1 million separated last week!" - Doesn't anyone stop to think that these numbers were presented to us by.... Idol?
They could come out and say "There was a ju-ba-jillion votes this week!!!! And only ONE VOTE separated the top two!" - and everyone would eat that shit up.
Just my thoughts on it.
Good year VFTW!
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| Noladoll |
| Posted: May 21, 2009 - 5:40am |
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Joined: 27 Mar 2009
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We won. But I am TOTALLY CONVINCED that it is EXACTLY what IDOL wanted too !
For whatever reason, they wanted Adam to lose and Kris to win. Their plan was hatched when:
1. They staged Adam in the bottom 3 - giving the impression that he was vulnerable.
2. They always picked Kris to go first to the safe seats - giving the impression that he was the leader, that he had a chance.
3. They made everyone believe that there was only a million votes between them last week.
4. They neglected to mention anything about the number of votes that separated the two last night - which back at the start - was something that added some measure of credibility.
STATISTICALLY SPEAKING, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL KRIS REALLY WON. EVERY SINGLE ONLINE PRE-IDOL POLL HAD ADAM LEADING BY 20 TO 30 PERCENTAGE POINTS. HIS DOWNLOADS WERE THROUGH THE ROOF - AHEAD OF ALL OTHERS - FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS.
WE GOT WHAT WE WANTED HERE - BUT IT IS THE SAME AS WHAT THEY WANTED TOO - THE WORST TO WIN.
EVERY SINGLE SHRED OF CREDIBILITY THEY HAD IS COMPLETELY GONE. UNLESS THEY INSTITUTE MORE VOTE COUNTING TRANSPARENCY THIS SHOW IS DOOMED.
REMINDS ME OF 2004 WHEN BUSH "WON" FLORIDA
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| Noladoll |
| Posted: May 21, 2009 - 5:46am |
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Joined: 27 Mar 2009
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vftw-FAN
You hit the nail on the head - there is NO credibility because there is NO transparency.
That is what sucks to me the most. The premise of the show is fine - give young people a chance to succeed in the music biz. But with producer and judge manipulation and no faith whatsoever that the votes are really counted fairly it ends up being a pile of crap.
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| dumpydee |
| Posted: May 21, 2009 - 5:49am |
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Joined: 05 Feb 2009
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Don't be hatin' on Kris. He may not wail like Adam but he has a nice, mellow voice that sounds good when they aren't forcing crap like "No Boundaries" on him. And he's an excellent musician. This was a contest of the performer (Adam) vs. the musician (Kris). And for once we didn't get a pimped planty winner.
I don't think Kris will go the way of Taylor Hicks. Kris has the kind of voice that will sound good on the radio and his musical style will fit with what they're playing on the radio. Hicks never had that. If the Evil Idol Producers are smart they'd put him together with a band with a cool name.
But they aren't that smart.
Adam will clearly be rushed into the nearest recording studio, so it's not like he really lost.
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| Idoltard |
| Posted: May 21, 2009 - 6:02am |
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Joined: 06 Mar 2009
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I was happy with the way it turned out. I adore Adam, but he would make it just fine without the shit the producers would give him for his album if he won. Kris needs that shit, and it will be funny when the shit makes a shitty album and no one buys it. I think that last night Adam basically said "fuck it" and was just himself. Aham, his awesome boots and sparkly makeup. That is the Adam we will be seeing more of, and the evils of Idol can't stop him.
Normund was my highlight. He brought a new round of tears that he did not make it further into the competition. :(
Great review Proffessor. I'm really gonna miss reading these. Is it January yet???
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F*ckboobs people, f*ckboobs!
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| manlambda |
| Posted: May 21, 2009 - 6:08am |
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Joined: 16 Apr 2008
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I agree with the comments about Kris here that most have had. Although he bores me to tears and I wouldn't walk across the street to see him perform free he had the cuteness factor and the fact that the younger tweens like him unlike Taylor who just had the fraus so he will do better. Still won't do good my guess along the line of Cook's career which I think you can put a fork in now.
When Queen came out all that kept going through my mind has the deal already been signed. They just parted ways with their lead singer and here they are on stage with Adam and Kris. Which made me think is Kris the next Freddy Mercury. :-)~ LOL
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| slambolt |
| Posted: May 21, 2009 - 6:40am |
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Joined: 04 Mar 2009
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ya kris won
now i get 2 suk his cock
yummy
and to all the fantards
go fuk urself
u will watch next year n bitch like lil woman
adam can get gigs n gay bars
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depeche mode rules
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| Indulgent1 |
| Posted: May 21, 2009 - 6:42am |
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Joined: 07 Apr 2009
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Why did Kris win? Never underestimate the texting power of a teenage girl. If there was a limit on the number of votes that could be made from a particular device, then perhaps the voting would have gone another way. But, since each vote represents buckage, don't expect integrity from Idol's producers!
I'm not the first to make this linkage, but Adam and Queen should try to work something out. It'd be interesting to see if he can work a crowd like Freddie Mercury.
Regardless, I'm happy Kris won. He'll do well once he's free of the Idol shackles.
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| ninjapickle |
| Posted: May 21, 2009 - 6:43am |
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Joined: 02 Apr 2008
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YESSSS. VFTW WIN. hahaha
Best Finale Ever. all because of Tatiana, Kara's whoreness, Normund Gentle and THE FAILURE OF THE PRODUCERS. hahaha.
however, i wish you could give Cook's song a bit of respect, though.
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HOWDY CLASS,
Tonight, as you may have noticed, is the Season Finale of Idol 8. Yay. Tonight's finale promises to have epically bad singing, embarrassing celebrity duets and Nourmund Gentle and Tatiana both perform. And for a change the Idol Finale is Terrible-Funny instead of just Terrible-Terrible. And the results are a pleasant, genuine surprise. VFTW!!!
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You'd think by the Finals the Professional Idol Tech crew would have their shit together. But nope, 6 minutes in and we have our first technical glitch as Kris' mic isn't turned on when he tries to answer Seacrest's stupid question. How hard is it to turn on a mic people? Nice work, bosy.
Since this was a two hour epic I'll just knock it out Random Thoughts Style. And because Two hours of this crap is asking a lot from me, I'm exercising my TiVo finger when it gets too boring.
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-- First Group sing. I almost forgot to look for Blind Scott. Scott brings the awesome blind guy dancing. The lip-synched performance is other-wise terrible.
--Cook sings a miserable Daughtry-esque song in a sickly green light. The first lyrics I hear are "I broke my promise that you'll never see me cry. Goddamn pussy Idol songs. Fast Forward. Boop-oop, Boop-oop.
--We get our first Idol comedy award, where they "reward" the delusional non-talents from audition weeks by letting America laugh at them again. We see audition footage of Andy Kaufman singing "Mad World." That was funny, but the joke gets old fast as the bad singing we've seen before gets shown again. Remember when that guy sang badly. Yeah, he sucked.
But then... Normund Gentle gets his own montage. Nick is under-dressed for tonight, wearing jeans and a hoodie. I could see the joke coming when he rips off his clothes and has his Normund Gentle gear on underneath, but I still cheered. Nourmund brings the house down with his "Dreamgirls" song then walks out through the crowd. Just awesome. So of course Seacrest kills the joke by wearing the glasses and headband. "God these are greasy." HoHO. That Seacrest is a card.
-- Lil Rounds and Latifah. Lil has a wig that works for her. Latifah found a unitard that threatens to explode at the slightest movement. Not a pretty look. Not a pretty song either. Bloop-bloop.
-- Anoop, Alexis and Jason Mraz sing a catchy Mraz ditty. Comedy ensues as they can't squat in time to the strong reggae beat together. Ooh, look Blind Scott dancing. Any song is improved by having Blind Scott dancing.
-- Kris Allen Retrospective -- Some guy named Kris wearing a New York cabby hat apparently auditioned for Idol. They skip Hollywood week because no footage exists.
-- Kris and Keith Urban sing a song called "Kiss a Girl." They sound good. It's not the least bit country, though. It sounds very John Cougar Mellencampy. For the record, Urban's wearing the tighter pants. They could record an album of this stuff and sell lots of copies.
-- The Idol girls come out and remind us they were pretty terrible. The only redeeming bit is our beloved Megan wearing some ridiculous pink uni-skort with what looks like a fan napkin for a collar. Fergie shows up. She was one of the high spots of last season so I'm not changing the channel just yet. She still can't sing. She looks puffy and beat up like Pauler. That segways into the Black-Eyed Peas singing that "Boom Boom Pow" song. Has any band gotten more mileage out of songs with stupider lyrics? Megan doing an awesomely clumsy robot dance was worth not fast forwarding. Boom Boom Pow!
-- Bikini girl comes out, with her newly inflated boobs and her spray-on tan. And she sings HORRIBLY. YES! VFTW VICTORY! Then Kara comes out and they turn off Bikini Girl's mic. That is so mean. Kara is over the top and trying too hard, as usual. Man this keeps getting better. So they have a horrible Mariah Carey vocal duel and dogs are suffering, and then Kara pops a cross-legged squat on her final Glory Note. Then in an act of sheer whoredom and desperation Kara strips down to her skivvies. It's embarrassing and shameless, and Kara clearly wasn't comfortable doing it even as a joke. The loonies are supposed to act like you, you're not supposed to act like the loonies, honey.
-- Allison sings "Time After Time" with a Cyndi Lauper looking mandolin player. Oh wait, it IS Cindi Lauper. Man, they're pretty terrible singing together. Allison in particular sounds lost and out of it. They don't sound good at all. This song is endless like a bad nightmare. Boop-boop-boop.
-- Gokey sings Lionel Richie. Of course. And it's a Dead Wife Song. Awesome. He sounds pretty good. This is his wheel house, singing drippy love ballads to old Haus Fraus and his dead wife. Lionel shows up. Gokey sounds exactly like Richie. They sing a Richie Medley but I'm already Fast-Forwarding. Bloop-boop- Bloop Boop.
- Adam is dressed like a Mad Max Warrior, or a Leather Gimp but sings a totally wussy song, "Beth" By Kiss. But then rocks out with the real Kiss on a Medley of Detroit Rock City and "I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night" Of course these songs are vocally kid's play, so Adam doesn't have much to do. But he does get to wear the Kiss platform boots. And Gene Simmons sounds like crap. Remember, any time you sound better than the original artists you're doing something right.
-- Santana. Mac Tonight sings "Black Magic Woman." but it thankfully turns into a group medley. Hey Kris, don't dance. Ever. And it's waste of space Michael Sarver making his return appearance. Yes! Blind Scott is dancing again.
-- Montage of car commercials. Fast Forward.
-- Steve Martin playing banjo with Sarver. What the crap? Sarver's sitting on a stool and he's out of breath by the second verse. Good for Megan. She gets to sing: "I've loved you since you took me out to dinner." Poor Steve gets to have these two ruin his song. Megan can't sing but we still love you CaCaw Girl. I was excited to hear that Steve Martin was doing a banjo album, but if it's crap like this I'll pass. Neither Sarver nor Megan know the words and she's screwing it up.
Steve Martin gets the best line of the night with this quip.
Ryan: "We've got you here, Steve. So who's going to win."
Steve: "I know it's a long shot, but I hope I do."
Okay, I'll buy your album after all.
-- More Sarver. What the hell is going on here? Roughneck gets THREE solos and Blind Scott doesn't get ONE!?!? Get off my TV Sarver. You too, Gokey. We sent you home weeks ago. Bloop-bloop-booop!
-- The guys are singing "Do Ya' Think I'm Sexy." Hey it's Blind Scott doing more Blind Guy Dancing. Not a single one of them can dance worth a damn. And Rod Stewart's ambulatory corpse is there singing Maggie Mae. Why is every one of these damn things a medley. I know I've said it before but the Musical Medley is the lowest form of musical life. It's the cockroach or paramecium of the musical world. Rod Stewart looks and sounds drunk. He can't even walk right now. And he's wearing Randy's plaid Grandpa Jacket. ANOTHER VFTW VICTORY!!!
-- Another joke award for Outstanding female. Tatiana's got this one locked up. Blonde who can't sing. Old Lady with glasses who can't sing. Wow, she really is terrible. A transvestite hooker who screeches through a song but still sounds better than Kara.
Tatiana's appearance gets applause from the live audience. We are rewarded with a montage of her freak outs. "For the guy who said I had to sleep with him to have a career. I'm a damn good vocalist." Still funny.
Tatiana wears a super mini purple floofy dress. I think I saw her Tatiana. Seacrest does a lame comedy bit where "security" can't drag away Tatiana as she keeps singing. And Ruben believes it's real.
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We're hitting the home stretch now.
-- Kris and Adam rock on "We are the Champions" and Adam just wails. He should be the new singer for Queen. Brian May is there. Every time the camera cuts to Paula and Kara they seem dazed and out of it. And hey, Megan nearly falls in the background. Awesome. VFTW! They should sing this song every week when someone goes home. Kara and Paula are arm and arm practically making out, because every SINGLE DUDE in the audience has rejected them tonight. We've seen Kara's goods and we don't want any, honey. These women are that drunk and bedraggled. Now if Freddy Mercury was performing that would be something.
-- And the winner is.... Kris Allen. Holy Crap, I'm kind of shocked by that. That means I just won $300 imaginary bucks. And he wins a dinky plastic "New American Idol Winner's Trophy." Gee, the Moneybags Idol Producers don't spare any expenses, do they. Simon is so stunned he can't even get out of seat. He's saying, "What? I told everybody to vote for Adam. Why is this other guy singing? Who is he again?"
Adam is thinking: "Thank you Lord, that I don't have to sing "No Boundaries."
Kris botches the same part of the song again. Happy ending for Kris. He deserved it. Happy ending for Adam who gets to dodge the Evil Idol Producers clutches. And happy ending for VFTW, because we get to watch Kris' Idol album crumble off the charts minutes after it's release.
Awesome job again this year guys. Worsters are the real winners.
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I have to say that I feel this season was an improvement over last year's pre-determined Gaspy Vs. Cook finale. And far less Gaspy singing too. Sure the girls except for Allison were a waste. And the Idol Finale had the same exact format as last year. But that just makes it more risible.
The Idol Producers are making it too easy for me. If they bring back, sad, pathetic whore Kara, that will kill the show's ratings further and just write the jokes for me. And since they can't admit when they've made a mistake, she WILL be back. Good times.
Thanks again to all of you for your comments and commentary. Hopefully you will return. Maybe we'll find a cultural phenomenon this summer worth our mockery, and then be sure to join us for whatever that is. It's a long time before Idol Season 9.
Best wishes,
--Chan
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