Right about now, most reasonably intelligent people are asking themselves, “who the hell are Steve and Dave”? Hot on the heels of that question, they are also probably asking, “…and isn’t their world the same one that I’m on”? The logical end to this string of questions usually comes in the form of, “…what are they doing writing for this site, and furthermore, why should I care what they think or say”?

All of these are valid questions, we assure you. Don’t feel too bad if you haven’t asked at least one of those questions, though. All that means is that you are either Nancy or Bonnie (our wives). Should it turn out that you are Nancy or Bonnie, we would like to point out that we really weren’t lying when we said we were writing for this site as well now. Our orders for breakfast in bed tomorrow will be forthcoming shortly.

As for the rest of you (if you’ve made it this far without giving up in complete disgust), your answers are forthcoming.

We are Steve and Dave – former reality show contestants. If you happen to be a fan of shows other than American Idol, you may have seen us on The Amazing Race (season four). We were (are) the Air Traffic Controllers who strolled their way to an eighth place finish – getting beat by two all-female teams, a couple of clowns, and a couple of gay guys. Don’t misunderstand – losing to gay winners Chip and Reichen didn’t bother us too much. Those guys are very athletic, and deserved to win. Losing to the all-girl teams was a bit harder to swallow, though. (Especially when they kept rubbing it in while we were all in loser lodge together. The noogies and wedgies they gave us were bad enough, but when they starting doing ‘two for flinching’, we ended up hiding a lot in our rooms.)

Now you know who we are. We’re guessing that you’re wondering why a couple of old, fat guys from a different reality show are writing for a web site called, “Vote For The Worst”. Come on. Really? Did you read that bit above about ‘eighth place’? You did? Then YOU figure it out. We'll call it typecasting.

Actually, the reason we’re here is because Dave DT stalked us. Turns out he’s a huge fan of The Amazing Race. First he found out that we lived in the same Idaho neighborhood. Then we started to get suspicious letters. Next came the late night breathy phone calls. Finally we noticed a beat-up Saturn that always seemed to be following us as we drove to work. The capper is, from certain angles he looks remarkably like Kathy Bates. We could only take so much before we caved.

All right, we confess. We were walking down the street one afternoon and he saw us. He got as far as, “hey, aren’t you…” before we folded and agreed to join him. Who knew he was actually talking to the guy behind us? Turns out that guy was a cashier at the local fast-food joint, and Dave had had a particularly good Italian Beef from him the night before, and wanted to thank him again for the exact change.
Fine, the real reason we're here is Steve and Dave think VFTW is brilliant, and we love how this silly website has had such an effect on one of the most-watched shows in television history. So we called him. OK? (That, and the Kathy Bates thing.)

Look, we’re the guy(s) your mother warned you about when you were young. You should listen to your mother. She's right about everything except for that going blind shit, believe US on that one. (However, it may lead to you needing glasses. We can’t disprove that bit.)

But we hope that if the current crop of wannabes doesn’t bring you to outright laughter with their efforts, maybe we’ll be able to point out what you missed. If you’re already laughing, why not check in here to see if we can’t point out a few more things that should bring a smile to your face.

The fact is we agree with most everything VFTW stands for. We think the show is manipulated and scripted. We’re pretty sure that the only thing the results have in common with the voting is the fact that the amount of votes cast gets mentioned on the elimination show. In our opinion, Randy is a monosyllabic multimillionaire buffoon, and we’re pretty sure that Paula could be the next guest on Celebrity Rehab. Simon? We like Simon. (But we will probably send an occasional barb his way too. Think sexuality.) Then there are those poor, disillusioned contestants who are under the assumption that FOX will actually look out for them and help them with a career. That dream gets crushed as they get eliminated and are quickly tossed aside – just like McDonald's french-fry grease at the end of the month.

Welcome to Steve & Dave’s world. It might be the same planet, but we doubt it’s the same world. Hope you stop back for a visit again sometime.

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