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Turtlecat
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Posted: 9/29/2011 at 5:52 PM
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Location: Ft. Shit,AR
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Starting things off with a bang....  This is what "Twilight" does to you.vampiregirlkillsbf
"An 18-year-old Florida girl accused of helping lure a 16-year-old boy into a fatal trap says she's a vampire who has drunk the blood of her boyfriend. Stephanie Pistey confirmed assertions by police in Parker, Fla., that the people involved in the July murder of 16-year-old Jacob Hendershot were in a vampire cult. Pistey, who was arrested last Monday and charged with accessory to murder, said she sees herself as a modern day Dracula."
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Turtlecat
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Posted: 9/29/2011 at 6:01 PM
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Location: Ft. Shit,AR
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#2. "Farmer Luiz Costa de Oliveira at age 90, has 50 children with four women" Someone get this guy a condom needsafuckingcondom
"A 90-year-old farmer has fathered 50 children with four women including two sisters and their mum. Retired Luiz Costa de Oliveira admitted he does not know all the names of his children and said there could be more.He said of fathering the mammoth brood: "The thing that God made best in the world was women."Luiz had 17 children with first wife Francisca.After she died, the lucky Brazilian found love again and had another 17 children with Maria Francisca da Silva, 64.When Maria got her sister Ozelita to help with getting the kids dressed and fed, Luiz struck up a relationship with her too. The 58-year-old then gave him another 15 children.Even the sister's mother was not safe. Francisca Maria, 89, succumbed to Luiz's charms, and had one child with him."
#3. "Zhang Nan has 15cm eel swim into his penis and has it removed from his bladder" Fucking ouch!!! eelswimsinpenis
"A man has had an eel removed from his bladder after it entered his body through his penis. Zhang Nan, 56, from Hubei province, China, was relaxing in a spa bath with live eels to let them feed on his dead skin when one started travelling up his urethra."I climbed into the bath and I could feel the eels nibbling my body," he said. "But then, suddenly I felt a severe pain and realised a small eel had gone into the end of my penis."I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my penis."The surgeon who extracted the eel from Zhang's bladder explained: "The diameter of the urethra in a man's penis is just a little narrower. But because eels are quite slippery, its body worked as a lubricant and got into the penis smoothly."The operation lasted three hours. The 15cm eel was found dead."
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Last edited by Turtlecat on 9/29/2011 at 6:02 PM
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8-bit
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Posted: 9/30/2011 at 12:45 PM
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Location: Sanjaya's papaya.
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That vampire story. 
And the guy was named Jacob. What a nutjob.
That story about the women eating her husband's sausage off would go here.
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Aerochick_97
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Posted: 10/1/2011 at 10:29 PM
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Location: Chiseling my face into Mt. Rushmore
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How can blood even taste good? It tastes like metal
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NikkiM1976
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Posted: 10/1/2011 at 10:30 PM
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Oh, hamburgers!
Location: Hag Supastar!
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People are fucking crazy. That is all.
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annielynn
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Posted: 10/5/2011 at 12:27 AM
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Location: Cowboy Junction
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There's no way those women could have had that many children; even had they started at the age of 12. I'd pay to see an 89-year-old lady preggers. I want pictures.
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Racing Rat
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Posted: 10/28/2011 at 10:23 AM
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Location: Being random
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Strange. Not exactly mens sana in corpore sano.
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Lady WahWah
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Posted: 10/28/2011 at 2:32 PM
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I don't want a subnic
Location: On the last train out of Sydney
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Yeah well . . . fabas indulcet fames.
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chikkijaxun
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Posted: 10/28/2011 at 2:48 PM
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Location: Playing VLT's and sellin' shmokes
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 This thread.
Eels. Who da fuck does that shit!?!
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Testiclez
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Posted: 10/28/2011 at 3:08 PM
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Location: NYC
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Quote "chikkijaxun": Eels. Who da fuck does that shit!?!
Its common in the Far East and is considered to be great for the skin. There's an American "version" and they use some breed of fish.
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Testiclez
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Posted: 10/28/2011 at 3:15 PM
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Location: NYC
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Heres my contribution...
A CDC director was arrested for beastility and child molestation.
"Facts revealed in the Huffington Post article stated: Quinlan was spanked by the child and he used an electric sex toy on her. The two lived in a home in Decator, Georgia and police spoke “highly” of the couple and her distinguished long career at the CDC.
Read more: http://www.politicolnews.com/cdc-director-arrested-for-bestiality-and-child-molestation/#ixzz1c6aYOtc0"
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Lady WahWah
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Posted: 11/11/2011 at 6:58 AM
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I don't want a subnic
Location: On the last train out of Sydney
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Soooo - he was a heterosexual 19 stone rugby player, then he fell over and woke up homosexual. Of course sweetie, of course. Link . . .
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8-bit
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Posted: 11/11/2011 at 4:46 PM
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Location: Sanjaya's papaya.
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He probably just felt life was too short not to become the queen she was inside after having a stroke.
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annielynn
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Posted: 11/12/2011 at 12:14 AM
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Location: Cowboy Junction
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Quote : Been banging my head on a brick wall since I read this. I hope I wake a up a millionaire tomorrow. |
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Bobbery
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Posted: 11/12/2011 at 11:43 AM
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Location: Britain
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Quote "Lady WahWah": Soooo - he was a heterosexual 19 stone rugby player, then he fell over and woke up homosexual. Of course sweetie, of course. Link . . .
Darn, I came here to post that story
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Lady WahWah
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Posted: 11/13/2011 at 5:32 AM
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I don't want a subnic
Location: On the last train out of Sydney
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^ All great minds think alike Bobbery
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Ann.T.Maim
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Posted: 11/20/2011 at 12:13 PM
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Chopaholic
Location: Morning Glory Circle
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Arrest Made For Bad Butt Injections
Quote : A Miami Gardens transgender woman is facing charges of practicing medicine without a license after police say she injected a patient's rear with everything but the kitchen sink in an illegal cosmetic surgery procedure. Oneal Ron Morris, 30, was arrested Friday after an investigation by Miami Gardens Police and the Florida Department of Health. According to police, the victim saw Morris in May and was injected in her buttocks with a substance consisting of cement, "Fix a Flat," mineral oil and super glue.
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jawajedi
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Posted: 11/20/2011 at 2:43 PM
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Will ideate for food
Location: Event Horizon
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Fix A Flat to pump your flat ass? Them folks iz crazy.  Georgia had a rash of pumping cases involving construction grade silicone from the hardware store.
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Ann.T.Maim
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Posted: 11/20/2011 at 4:04 PM
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Chopaholic
Location: Morning Glory Circle
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Seems incredible, to me, from so many angles. Why would anyone want a fat ass? Why would they think pumping random shit into their ass would ever be a good idea? And why would they trust somebody with a fake ass the size of a PT Cruiser to perform cosmetic enhancements on them?
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chikkijaxun
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Posted: 11/21/2011 at 10:29 PM
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Location: Playing VLT's and sellin' shmokes
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LOL Ann T Maim! You beat me to this. We finally found out J-Lo's secret. She got a "Fix a Flat" ass.
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Lola57
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Posted: 11/22/2011 at 2:44 AM
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Insert witty subnic here
Location: Hangin' with the Angel of Death
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^ Wait. What? That's not the victim?!?
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