|
Finally, I was so happy to see some singing from everyone tonight. This is what American Idol is all about: awful performances and voting to keep in the worst contestant. Tonight, the obvious choice was Brenna for her overall extreme bravado. This girl has balls, and she want to show us her claws next week. Unfortunately, VFTW is her entire fanbase since I doubt she has a single fan besides us. But hey, let’s hope we can help her out for a few weeks. Mandisa, Paris, Lisa, Melissa, and Katherine all gave good performances, so let’s just skip over them and talk about the important people.
Kellie Pickler didn’t fail to disappoint with her incredibly awful rendition of “How Far”. Of course, the “my daddy’s in jail” card was played almost immediately. Then she sang, and it was worse than I expected. She sounded terrible, but the judges treated her with kid gloves for some reason. Is she screwing Nigel Lythgoe or something? The fake, orange girl was just awful, but they let it slide and she’ll easily skate into the top 12. It may be annoying for now, but maybe once people get sick of her she’ll make a hilarious late-in-the-game VFTW.
Becky O’Donahue didn’t sing incredibly well, but that’s to be expected since she has not once sang well on the show. I loved her off key performance, because it just proves that Idol has absolutely nothing to do with singing. If it did, she wouldn’t be there. The judges said she was “better than expected”. So they expected even worse? Oh judges, you’re just showing your true colors now. Thanks!
Ayla was okay, but her snob-bot-ness was in full effect again this week. Is it just me, or is she one of the least likeable people ever? Seriously, someone needs to reprogram her. Simon even called her out on being robotic. Duh, Simon, we told you she was a snob-bot long ago, but you apparently didn’t listen. Or you at least apparently didn’t listen with the right head.
Stevie Scott told us that she wants to be the next Josh Groban. And by that, she means she wants to release a song and have people oversing it to death on American Idol. Lofty goal, Stevie! Her singing was VFTW worthy and barely ever in tune, so I absolutely loved the performance. Apparently she has opera training, because she mentioned it 100 billion times in her opening. This did not come out at all though, so I’m not sure why she played it up so much. And I kind of felt bad for her when she kept trying to talk after she sang and that closeted, hissy-fit throwing loser (no, not a Brittenum twin… Simon Cowell!) kept interrupting her to insult her. Stevie definitely wins runner up of the week in the VFTW department, but she was no match for the force that is Brenna.
Brenna showed me just why Stevie can’t be VFTW. Both of them sang poorly, but Brenna then completely acted out and started jumping at the judges for insulting her. Brenna even made faces in the background when Stevie was singing (she was basically saying “what the hell is this bitch doing?”), and I was cracking up. Next week, she promises to bring out the claws, so that alone is enough motivation to keep her in. Brenna stands for everything this show is but doesn’t want to admit: she’s obnoxiously self-serving and she’s cheesy as hell. But she was the sole entertainment in a 2 hour episode full of bores, so that alone should be reason to keep her around besides wanting to vote for the worst. She is the sunshine of my life. That’s why she’ll always stay around (Hopefully thanks to VFTW!)
Heather Cox talked about being a superfan of the show, and because of this, she planned to sing “When You Tell Me that You Love Me”. This song was all ready overdone by Vonzell and the other awful Idols last year, so why she wanted to bring that up again is beyond me. But I didn’t expect much out of her, and she truly inspired me in a VFTW way. Her monotone delivery was outstanding, and I can honestly say that it sounded nothing like Vonzell’s version from last year! Heather is most likely out the door Thursday, but she definitely went out swinging for the fences.
And finally, we had Kinnik. Apparently, Simon said she might be one of the people with the wow factor. He forgot that it’s the VFTW wow factor. She had some boring, good notes in there, but then she threw in some great bum notes that sounded horrific. Of course, I couldn’t help but stare at her giant mouth the entire time she sang, so I missed some of it. But I’m pretty sure Brenna was worse, so it didn’t matter.
There you have it, the ladies of American Idol 5. They’re worse than any other group on the show… that is until the boys perform tomorrow night. Until then, vote vote vote for Brenna. Because I will not forgive you if you don’t.
|
Administrator
