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< American Idol: Seasons 1-8 ~ American Idol 2009 Tour Mocking Thread Now With Dildos! |
| BobDylanForPresident |
 Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:33 pm |
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Briana Ramirez-Rial
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 205
Location: San Diego: The Fire Hazard of America
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I went to the San Diego show last night and just barely survived. There were alot more tweens and fraulein then the last couple of years. Alot of homemade "Team Adam" shirts but being his hometown I kind of expected it. One chubby girl dyed her hair Allison's color and was wearing a "#1 Allison Fan" shirt. To entertain myself, whenever we were waiting in line somewhere I said rather loudly "Is Danny's wife going to be at this show?" I had one middle-aged woman tell me very hush hush "Honey, Sophia has passed on into Heaven." Then she kind of nodded and walked into a bathroom stall.
While waiting in the seats before the show they have advertisements and music videos on the screens. One of the ads was for the shirts they were selling. I shit you not, when the Adam t-shirt crossed the screen the kids all screamed. His face was on a shirt. 
Michael went first and of course I couldn't for the life of me remember one of his performances on the show. It was a pretty boring set and he did a shout out to his wife who unlike Gokey's was alive.
Then Megan Joy came on! She was dressed like Trailer Park Barbie but she still did her quirky dance moves. At the end of her last song she cawed 
Scott sounded alot better than he did on the show. He mentioned Seacrest's high five and said it happened to him alot. Then he sang "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton and when he got to the part "If I could just see you" I started giggling and looked around to see if anyone else caught it. Unfortunately I was surrounded by drunk old women and twelve year old girls.
Annop reminds me of the Mathletes in Mean Girls. He sounded okay. He pulled out his number from Hollywood Week and made this stupid little speech about how far he's come.
Lil was wearing an ugly wig again. At first she was wearing this bedazzled trench coat to cover her ass but then she took if off to reveal this hideous jumpsuit. She sang "Single Ladies" and it was kind of like being at a Beyonce concert I guess. Then she did some weird dance that looked like a flight attendant's instructions.
Matt's mole is gone. Now there's nothing to distract me from his hideous face. He played the piano and then put on a fedora "for the hardcore fans" and made a big deal about how he used to play in lounges and ended up here.
So then they did group numbers. I honestly don't remember them. I remember Scott and Matt "piano dueling?". By that point I just wanted to get up and walk around.
Allison was on after intermission. She spazzed around onstage. Sounded pretty good. She did that one annoying Pink song and played guitar. She wasn't getting alot of applause and people were still coming back from the bathroom so I guess she felt it necessary to mention that Danny, Adam, and Kris were coming up after her so the crowd would start screaming and she could delude herself into thinking it was for her.
I was suprised at how many obsessive fans Douchey Gokey had. He milked the dead wife shit and played motivational speaker, telling the crowd to "never let a tragedy, a mistake, or a failure define who you are." Then he started talking about dreamers and I felt immense dread because I sensed "Dream On" was about to start but instead it was some shit song. He sweat like a pig too. The cameras were not nice to him.
And Glambert. I swear my eardrums split. The screaming was ridiculous. With all the other contestants the screaming stopped as soon as they started singing but the screaming didn't stop for a good five minutes into his set. He started off by singing and grabbing his crotch which made the little girls crazy. I still don't know how they deny that this man is gay though. He was as flamboyant as he was on the show if not more so. He acted out every single word in the songs. He did one of those little "San Diego, this could not have happenned without you" obligatory statements. I've come to the conclusion that Adam is just a human version of Rum Tum Tugger from Cats. Then Adam and Allison did "Slow Ride". It was good. When Adam was done it was kind of like how can Kris top that display? Alot of people left when Adam was done.
Kris came on and the screams were substantially quieter than Adam's. He played guitar and piano. Supposedly his voice was sore and he didn't really talk much. He sounded good but it was boring. I keep forgetting that he won.
They all had group numbers except for Danny and Kris for which I am very grateful. Kris started off "Hey Jude" and then they all joined in. Personally I liked "Hey Jude" better when they did it Season 6 tour and Sanjaya did the odd little screaming part. Then they did "Don't Stop Believing" which morphed into that annoying "na na na na hey hey hey goodbye" song and then back into Journey and then it was finally finished.
By now my sister and I have developed a tradition of going out to the buses and making fun of them and or harrasing them. Usually there aren't that many people out but this time there were at least five hundred. And of course out of that five hundred we got stuck next to the crazy tards. This completely dysfunctional family consisted of a 60 year old grandmother that was trying to dress like a 12 year old , a 40 year old mom who was trying to dress like a 12 year old, and a 12 year old that was dressed like a prostitute. They got mad at me when I began to inquire about Danny's wife and whether or not Scott would be happy to see us.
Lil and Megan came outside and signed. It was more chaotic than usual and I always try to say something to them and get some kind of reaction. I managed to ask Megan about her caw and if it was for VFTW and she said "It sure was" 
Then Michael made his way down the line. You could tell that he knew this was going to be his only 15 minutes of fame because he spent time with each person. Allison didn't even come near the fans. She was walking to the buses and then heard the screaming and looked around really confused. When she finally spotted the masses she kind of staggered around and someone took her into the bus.
Scott's brother was dragging him around. I kept wondering if he had a braile pen.
All hell broke loose when Gokey of all people came out. We were getting pushed like crazy. Then out of nowhere Kris and Matt popped up. Kris was pretty low key and no one really cared that much. Anoop kind of ambled around signing autographs as he pleased.
Everyone went crazy when Adam walked outside. I thought it was funny because this guy was talking on the phone saying "Adam finally came out" and I was thinkint "no shit". He started at the very end of the line which I thought was nice because those dumbfucks who ended up down there never get any autographs.
It was definitely an interesting night. I tried to get pictures but this time it was too crazy. |
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| jawajedi |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 5:53 pm |
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Will ideate for food
Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 2126
Location: Making shadow puppets in Plato's cave.
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| Sounds like the NKOTB and Backstreet concerts I took my daughter to years ago. And the Gwen Stephani show last year (we had $10 lawn seats, and still overpaid). |
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| WhiteMocha |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 5:55 pm |
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Leah Labelle
Joined: 21 Jan 2009
Posts: 905
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Megan claimed she cawed for us? BobDylanForPresident, you are love 
You should also have asked her when she would post here. I can't wait. |
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| Snotty |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 6:01 pm |
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Moderator
Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 3448
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^^ Nice review.Quote: He milked the dead wife shit and played motivational speaker, telling the crowd to "never let a tragedy, a mistake, or a failure define who you are." Quote: I've come to the conclusion that Adam is just a human version of Rum Tum Tugger from Cats.  You hit the nail on the head there.Quote: I managed to ask Megan about her caw and if it was for VFTW and she said "It sure was" |
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| minno |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 6:53 pm |
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Farmbot
Joined: 03 Mar 2009
Posts: 88
Location: Big Easy
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Best recap I've read anywhere, BobDylanForPresident. I felt like I was there.
But I wasn't. |
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| AreTheySerious |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:19 pm |
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Gaspy Archuleta
Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 890
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| I live in Topeka and I just wanted to say that we hate the Fred Phelps Klan as much as anybody. I see them everyday when I'm out and about and all of the picketers are kids. The older ones in the Klan are all too lazy and fat to do it anymore. They also all come from ONE family. Kansas and Topeka have tried to get rid of this scum, but I'll give them one thing. They know the law. They think they are relevant, but they are really nothing but pathetic jokes and someday they will indeed sit at the feet of the throne. Satan's. |
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| insaneinthesfv |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:09 pm |
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Moderator
Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 16768
Location: Jedwardshire, UK
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BDFP, thank you for that awesome recap for the second year in a row!
The only thing that could have improved it is if Cunty was at the show, desperately trying to latch on to the Season 8 folks, and you snapped a photo of her inhaling another In & Out burger.
ETA: AreTheySerious, have you seen this thread? |
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| katmag |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:57 pm |
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Constantcrap Maroulis
Joined: 15 Apr 2009
Posts: 63
Location: ohio
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| BDFP haha love you're review, you should have gotten a picture with meg! and some pics of the frau. |
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| sunshine8503 |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:02 pm |
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Suck it, Bitches!
Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 10121
Location: Rooting for Jedward!
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BobDylan awesome recrap. I would of killed myself if I had to go to that Karaoke fest . You are strong!
Aww Caw Caw <3 <3 |
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| Mugsy |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:39 pm |
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Craig Sharpe
Joined: 11 Jul 2008
Posts: 799
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| Great recap, Bob. I especially loved your inquiries about Gokey's wife. |
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| purpledarklighter |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:35 pm |
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Kevin Covais
Joined: 19 May 2008
Posts: 3221
Location: Castrating VFTW
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| Awesome recap BDFP! The Gokey's wife thing made me LMAO as well. And it's awesome Megan loves us |
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| AllThatJazz |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 11:28 pm |
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Boomquisha
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 2650
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Great report BDfP 
Thanks for going and bonus, getting Megan cawnfirmation. |
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| Undirtied |
| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 11:54 pm |
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Lisa Wilson
Joined: 05 Jun 2008
Posts: 603
Location: Politely holding the door open for the Idulls re-entering the land of obscurity
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Awesome news about Megan.
'cawfirmation'
Any review of this show makes me shudder. But great job! |
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| AreTheySerious |
| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 5:41 am |
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Gaspy Archuleta
Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 890
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Um, no but even if I had I wouldn't bother. I just took a shower but I'd need another one after reading any of that. I didn't bring them up here, I was just responding to another poster. Sorry if it was off topic. |
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| NikkiM1976 |
| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 6:03 am |
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ManBearPig
Joined: 18 Jan 2007
Posts: 1938
Location: Merlotte's
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BDFP
Thanks for taking one for the team! Your review cracked me up, I wish I could have seen the frauen's faces when you were asking about Danny's wife. |
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| smarterthanpickler |
| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:11 pm |
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I Run This Joint!
Joined: 08 Aug 2006
Posts: 12778
Location: In your head
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Of course Megan loves us! It's so cute when she has to fib to the bloodsuckers, err, press.
And I'm sure Baby Caw loves us too. |
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| LisaGarland |
| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:35 pm |
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Briana Ramirez-Rial
Joined: 22 May 2009
Posts: 217
Location: at Alchemilla Hospital, giving sugary candy to the diabetics
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Megan finally admitted it.
I can only hope that in a few years, once she is no longer bound by the threat of a "law suite", she can join the site. |
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| risemix |
| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:58 pm |
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Amy Davis
Joined: 12 Feb 2009
Posts: 103
Location: Florida
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| It sounded like she just said that to make you happy, but anyway. |
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| Lola57 |
| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 6:15 pm |
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Insert witty subnic here
Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 2191
Location: Hangin' with Sven and the Angel of Death
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risemix = wet blanket  |
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| Myndrunner |
| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:04 pm |
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David Radford
Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Posts: 1037
Location: In Megan's Birdhouse!!
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| It's gotta be for us! Watch in any interview where they ask about the Caw Caw, she kinda smirks and dodges the question by saying how she loves birds and such. Plus, with a bro like hers to shout "broken record" you know there is a little worster in her! |
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