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Ann Rivall, a writer for the University of Wisconsin-Madison's student newspaper the Badger Herald, wrote a hilarious review of David Archuleta's new Christmas album. It makes fun of the album, but even does give Gaspy a little bit of credit for some things (it did get 2 out of 5 stars). But since Idol fans can't stand to have anyone disagree with their lunacy, they soon jumped in to attack Ann for voicing her opinion with over 90 comments. Some of the highlights:

"Ann Rivall you poor pathetic thing. Either you are suffering PMS, hate Christmas music, seek attention, hate David Archuleta, suffer from poor self esteem/body image, or all of the above. You can sharpen your poison pen at this third rate hack of a college “newspaper”, publish your baseless negativity, but people like you will never be able to suppress positive, heartwarming, life affirming people like David Archuleta."

"You are truly an idiot! First of all, David made this Christmas album because so many fans were requesting that he do so... I feel sorry for you that you are so bitter to this wonderful young man. I had the chance to meet him and believe me, YOU DON”T GET IT!!!!"

"Why do you make up rules about what he can and can’t release? Remember Elvis? He sang whatever he wanted and it worked. Get over it."

"Wow, all I have to say is that this review is stinking. Yes, STINKING REVIEW! I’m proud to say that. So what if David made a Christmas album when its not the holidays yet? IS THAT A CRIME TO DO SO? Everyone knows that whoever hates David or his music is either retarded, idiotic or just plain mentally disordered."

"I see why this site is called badger-because you badged the *^&%$$ out of this album and David."

"ANN RIVALL, JUST NEED COTTON BUDS TO CLEAN HER EARS AND GET A MUSIC LESSON FROM BOB DYLAN FOR A START."

"You know what? I HATE YOU! EVERYONE HATES YOU! Did you have an open brain surgery? looks like it. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THOSE WORDS BECAUSE YOU DON’T CONTAIN ANY OF THOSE1 WHY WON’T YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE TALKING NONESENSE YOU STUPID BRAT! WHY WON’T YOU JUST SHUT UP YOU STUPID RAT! ONLY A STUPID SPOILED PICKLED LOKO WOULD SAY THOSE! I MEAN THAT WAS REALLY HHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFFFFUUUUULLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! many got hurt after what you said!those words were really HURTFUL! THOSE WERE MEANS WORDS! ALL STUPID DUMB WORDS! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO EVEN MENTION DAVID ARCHULETA’S NAME! YOU ARE skunk! A WORTHLESS PIECE OF FILTH! A WORTHLESS SATAN-FOLLOWER! if you have nothing good to say, why did you make a topic ABOUT DAVID?! YOUR NAME IOS RUINED AND I’LL CONTINUE TO RUIN IT! PUTA KA!"

Arts Editor Cailley Hammel then responded to the craziness with another very funny article, finishing up with "bring it on, fuckers." We're absolutely loving the University of Wisconsin Madison right now. Too funny.

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AINow has the pictures from Adam Lambert's photo shoot in Details Magazine. Adam described the pictures as "racy" in a Twitter post. Why is he posing with a naked woman? It just seems kind of desperate. It's not as it if it's saying anything or even that interesting. His album must be turning out really awful.

ETA: Details Magazine wasn't too happy with them having the pictures up, so you'll have to actually get the magazine. If you plan to assault your eyes.

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Here ya go. The verses are much more subdued than the rest of the song, so much less painful, but still incredibly bland and cliche ("I know this flame isn't dying, so nothing can stop me from trying"... genius songwriting). Then the screeching begins and it's time not for miracles, but to wish you had never pressed the play button.
If you really want to torture yourself, you can download the whole song here.
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Now that Paula Abdul is off of Idol, she's letting the fur fly by ragging on her ex-roommate Kara DioGuardi. Paula discovered Kara (thanks a lot...) and let Kara live with her. But she wasn't happy when she found out that Kara walks to the fridge and eats all of the food in her sleep. Paula had some funny things to say:

"I'd wake up in the morning and I thought ‘did my dog do this?’ There was food on the ground. ‘What the heck?’ I thought. But she would have no recollection that she did it."

And it seemed this was quite a topic of conversation among their friendship circle.

"The proof is in the pudding, one of her best friends said ‘oh you think you had it bad? She ate mine and my husband’s first anniversary wedding cake... in her sleep.’ So I didn’t feel so bad," Abdul continued.

How shocking. Kara has always been doing annoying things. If anyone has video of Kara sleep-eating, we'll pay for it.

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Decent singer. Decent looking. And he has a sense of humor. Wow, 19E actually lucked out here. And they're going to throw it away with crap like "Live Like We're Dying". Typical. (Via Examiner Chicago)
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Looks like frequenting massage parlors to find prostitutes finally caught up with Jeff, eh? RadarOnline.com has the divorce papers that Jeff Archuleta filed in February of 2009. The couple wasn't exactly a typical, loving family... Lupe and Jeff filed for divorce in 2002 but then stayed together when their cash cow Gaspy won Star Search. How convenient. But now after the prostitution sting, maybe Lupe finally had enough? Jeff is also requesting that Lupe pay him $349 in child support each month. So Jeff's keeping the kids? Seems like a bad idea to us after the reports about his temper and Gaspy's strange behavior. Either way, the Archuleta family's misery will probably make RadarOnline.com and TMZ happy for months to come.
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It's not worth watching. Let us summarize for you. Cash-ho has a stupid look on his face the entire time, he likes to take pictures, and some dude reading a newspaper gives him a dirty look for not bathing.
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And without further ado, we bring you some original Adam Lambert poetry. What the hell is this guy on? Warning: There may be images in this poem that your brain can't forget.

Dawn.

The ink of night slow dances with muddled fire.

Jagged mountian tops in a breathy mauve peak out of vague camouflage.

A crow moans in horny recovery. Rubbing a last one out amid coconut ghosts and spiderwebs.

This alley cat block still a mystery to me.

On the roof. Seeking proof.

Adam thinks he's edgy and controversial. We think he's an idiot.

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