Katharine McPhee Can't Shut Her Pie Hole
It's no secret that those of us at VFTW for the most part love certain Idol contestants and can't stand others. Being that Katharine McPhee (pictured with her ancient boyfriend on the right and some new sugar daddy on the left) is on the short list of Idols That VFTW Hopes Are Working at McDonalds in Under a Year, we love reporting the stupid things she says in the press. She's previously been quoted as saying that if her record doesn't take off, she'll just get knocked up and stop trying. This week, Katharine lets loose some more verbal diarrhea in the current issue of Entertainment Weekly:
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Tommy Daniels is This Season's First Jailbird
TMZ.com reports that big haired singer Tommy Daniels (pictured, sans big hair but with cheesy muscle shot) who made it to Hollywood in the Seattle auditions episode is this season's first jailbird. Daniels was arrested for drunk driving in Clackamas, Oregon in 2004. He was later convicted of DUI. His excuse? "I was young and dumb." Continuing that mindset, Daniels was arrested again in 2005 for hit and run. His second excuse? More Pain and Suffering
Remember that hysterical 30 second clip of weirdos that American Idol used to promo this episode? Yeah, all that hilarity is not so funny stretched over two hours. American Idol, I'm begging you, STOP the two hour episodes. Please!
In fact Seattle was an even more dire repeat of Minnesota, including the locked door, a meaner Randy, long painful silences and Apollo Creed.
I've broken the show down into two easily digested categories this time.
BAD SINGERS GOING TO HOLLYWOOD
dave youre a dork, u guys are sending home people with real talent and potential just to get a cheap laugh, youre pathetic and you have no lives, u think youre idea is clever? its not, its nothing but dumb and irritating, and if u think u can change the true outcome youre probably wrong, u dont have that much power, youre just embarrassing yourself, look how many people are in this group compared to the millions of people who watch american idol, u cant do shit, all youre doing is wasting your time, not like u have anything better to do though fucking losers. oh btw stop giving yourself credit when u deserve none, taylor was gonna win anyway he had way more fans, your pathetic little tiny cult didnt do shit, you even thinking u affected anything just proves your stupidity, fuck u worthless piece of shit
-Speed of Pain
Katharine McPhee Tortures Puppies
After hearing that Seattle was one of the worst audition cities ever, tonight’s show had a lot to live up to. Oddly enough, even though a lot of mediocre or bad people are going to Hollywood, the show produced more actual good singing talent tonight than an average episode. We still got to see very little of Paula, and when we do, she barely speaks English. You know what? I’m almost getting sick of making jokes about her being drunk. It’s just not right. Who am I to say? I mean, I shouldn’t just be lobbing insults like that. So from now on… I think I’m going to focus on her addiction to pain killers. There we go. I’m gonna go with a Vicodin overdose as Paula's drug of choice. Not because I know, but because it gives me a lot of material to work with. Wikipedia cites some of the side effects of being a pill popper like Paula:
Can you believe it - highest ratings ever?
Suffering Through Two Hours of Crap, To Listen to Crap Singing
Welcome back class to the OFFICIAL Professor Chan's Grading The Idols #1.
First off I have to say man, is this new Vote For The Worst site format incredible. It's pretty, and pretty readable. So now I'm a "blogger" and my American Idol reviews are now "blogs" and not columns. Does that make me a shut-in, cave-dwelling nerd? I hope not.
If you were with us from last year, you will notice I'm not using my patented "A-B-C Grading system" for the terrible singing shows. I'm saving that for the Finals... but with a new super-secret twist. Now on with the show...
