Vote for the Worst

Vote For Phillip Phillips at 1-866-436-5703 or -5706 or -5709

smarterthanpickler — Wed, 16 May 2012 21:44:44 EDT

Vote for VFTW Pick Phillip Phillips: His dad has a gun!

1-866-436-5703

1-866-436-5706

1-866-436-5709

You can also vote for Phillip online at americanidol.com

We got three doses of Phil tonight, which means three times the contorted faces, three times the grey and three times the WGWG! Everyone in The Phillipines has their dozen computers, phones and fake accounts ready to power vote for Jessica, so we must vote for Phillip extra hard!

Spoilers For Tonight's Show

smarterthanpickler — Wed, 16 May 2012 13:11:47 EDT

The only song confirmed so far is Phillip doing the Matchbox 20 song. It's also confirmed our pick's going to be making faces during it like he's passing a kidney stone!

Phillip Phillips is Saving the Economy

thefunnystone — Tue, 15 May 2012 21:53:12 EDT

If you haven't already jumped on the Phillip Phillips bandwagon, you may be asking yourself, why should I vote for #wgwg5? Well, Phillip is saving the economy, that's why. Fox 31 South Georgia is reporting that Phillip's hometown visit actually made the Albany, Georgia area $550,000. That is astounding. What have Joshua and Jessica done to save the economy? Nothing. We also heard rumblings that Joshua caused the BP oil spill and that Jessica killed a bald eagle and laughed as it bled to death. So you know what to do - vote Phillip Phillips!

Casey Abrams and Jackie Tohn Can't Buy Me Love

thefunnystone — Tue, 15 May 2012 21:27:05 EDT

Two VFTW favorites, Casey Abrams and Jackie Tohn, clone themselves and perform as a fabulous foursome to the tune of "Can't Buy Me Love." Isn't it great how VFTW favorites always get to know each other and then do awesome stuff like this?

Demi Lovato To Be Britney's Bitch On X Factor

smarterthanpickler — Mon, 14 May 2012 17:29:05 EDT

It's official: Demi Lovato has been named as the fourth judge on X Factor. If you're like me, you're asking yourself: Who the fuck is Demi Lovato to be judging a singing contest? All I know is she's a 19-year-old from the Disney machine and she likes to cut herself.

I get what Simon's trying to do but how will contestants like Stacy Francis and Leroy Bell feel about being judged by a 19-year-old? In any case, this is Simon's last chance because if this doesn't work, nothing will.

By the way Simon, next to your two new judges, you're suddenly looking very old.

Make Sure to Bid on the Official VFTW The Voice Caricatures - Auctions End Tonight!

thefunnystone — Sun, 13 May 2012 14:17:41 EDT

In a few hours, the auctions on eBay will end for our The Voice 2012 caricatures. 100% of the money made from these auctions (after eBay's fees) goes directly to Laura Hawbaker for all of the time and effort she put into creating these masterpieces. So don't let them slip through your fingers - keep an eye out and make sure to bid on your favorite one from Chris Mann with Christina Aguilera to Juliet Simms' wings to Tony Lucca's Mickey Mouse ears. The auctions start ending around 7:45 PM Eastern time tonight.

Tony Lucca
Chris Mann & Christina Aguilera
Erin Martin
James Massone
Mathai
Pip
RaeLynn
Juliet Simms

William Balfour is Found Guilty of Murdering Jennifer Hudson's Family

thefunnystone — Fri, 11 May 2012 18:27:04 EDT

As snarky as we are, this website obviously doesn't condone murder. And we like Jennifer Hudson, she's good people. So when Jennifer's mother, brother, and nephew were murdered, we were hoping the bastard who did it would be brought to justice. Today, the jury issued a verdict in the murder trial, and William Balfour, Jennifer's former brother-in-law, was found guilty of murdering Jennifer's family members. He now faces life in prison. May this help the Hudson family have some closure in this horrible tragedy.

Hollie Cavanagh is Toast - #wgwg5 is in the Top 3!

thefunnystone — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:02:46 EDT

So it looks like Hollie Cavanagh is finally toast. Not shocking, she never had any emotion in any of her songs. But we wanted to make sure our #wgwg5 made it into the top 3. As Steven said tonight, Phillip just doesn't care about anything. He half asses his performances. He skips the Ford commercials. He'll be the perfect winner if he can somehow sneak past the predetermined top 2 and get into the finale.

So now, it's up to us. Phillip must knock out either Joshua or Jessica next week. If he can do that, the judges, the producers, and America will be pissed. Get your dialing fingers ready for next week - we'll need to vote our asses off. But we can do it, Worsters. #wgwg5 FTW!

Top 4 Perform: Phillip & Joshua: A Love Story

smarterthanpickler — Wed, 9 May 2012 23:31:19 EDT

It's the Top 4 and you know things are getting serious as the judges shoved extra hard tonight on the contestants they want to throw under the bus. Randy looks like an ice cream vendor, one who ate their entire stock. Round 1 is songs from acts from California, people like Rebecca Black, Willow Smith and Katharine McPhee. Phillip is up first so we won't have to wait long to find out how the show is going to try to sabotage our pick this week. Phil seems to be really getting into the California spirit tonight as he's acting like he's smoked some of the state's finest herb. He's doing a CCR song and even five months into this show I'm still amused by how ridiculous the name Phillip Phillips is. Phil has no guitar for this performance so we get to see the best dancing on TV since Elaine on Seinfeld. Phillip is either trying to add as many Oo-Oo-Oos as possible to this song or he's just passing another one of his kidney stones. And Idol may have found its first star in about 6 years...Random Hot Saxophone Girl!

Keep Phillip Phillips Coming Every Night - 1-866-436-5701 or 1-866-436-5705

thefunnystone — Wed, 9 May 2012 21:59:43 EDT

#wgwg5 is clearly the worst one left. He even knows it. Idol is clearly trying to ditch him by making him sing first so that everyone forgets. But we won't forget. Just like he slayed the Skylar beast last week, he can slay one of the others this week. We can't be complacent though and watch him get eliminated. He needs our votes because one week of fewer votes is what separates him from his hometown visit in the top 3 and a hometown visit out of the competition. If we can get Phillip to the top 3, the hometown visit will help invigorate his fanbase to vote even more. So we must get him over this hump.

1-866-436-5701

And vote at AmericanIdol.com

Don't stop until your fingers bleed. And if you know a fat, Southern woman, remind her it is her duty to vote for Phillip too. Write to all of the lonely older women you know and subtly suggest to them that Phillip will fuck them if he wins the show. That's worth a few votes.