Masternsap101 tried out for Idol this year and made it to the executive producer round. Here, he shares his story with all of us to talk about how terrible the show is this year. Maybe you'll make it next year, dude. Good try! Click "read more" to continue reading the entire story.

It all started on Sunday when I naively followed the directions on

the Idol website to come auditions at 6 AM when stupid fantards were

already lining up at 4 AM. The funny thing is most of them had no shot

of making it past the first round at all. After waiting in line for

three hours, I finally received my number and a ticket securing

me an audition.

After dealing with the stress of keeping the god damned wristband on

for two days, I finally came back Tuesday at 7 AM (keep in mind the

website again lied and said to be their BY 5 AM). After waiting another

two hours, we were led in rather quickly and ushered into our seats to

do the lame crowd songs. Since I am smart, I didn't sing a single note

of any of the songs. However, (worsters keep this in mind), if you want

to even get a consideration by the producers, you should act as crazy

as possible and at least lip sync. That's exactly what I did and that's

what ultimately got me a consideration for the first round.

While waiting in line, I thought I would be dealing with obsessed

divas and plants who would bitch and moan the entire time. Thankfully,

I got to deal with a group of nice girls who were sweet and pleasant.

They were not your fantard-type teenage girls. They were the shy,

reclusive girls who everyone knew had no chance of moving on. There was

one girl I thought would move on though who I was with. Her name was

Kitty (I know, it's hysterical but that's her actual name). She had the

Idol package. She looked and sounded exactly like Kelly Clarkson and

she was New Jersey (who knew there could be such a thing). Sadly, she

got a nasty old man as a judge and did not past the first round.

Auditions actually began relatively quickly (the filming only took

about an hour and a half) but mine didn't come up until 3:00 PM (keep

in mind they started at 11:00 AM). A little frustrated and slightly

nervous, I put on my ditzy, slightly gay game face and proceeded to

table 2 with three other girls at the ushering of the young producers.

One thing fellow worsters need to keep in mind is the best way to make

it past subsequent rounds on talent is to be "extremely" nice to the

young producers. Out of all of the douche bag executive producers, the

young ones work the hardest. They literally did not have a single break

that day, were not given time to eat and drink and were still able to

work hard and stay pleasant. I was utterly surprised and told one of

them I felt sorry for them. It's appalling that Idol could get away

with this and I hope www.truthaboutfremantle.com is able to stop this horrible neglect.

Anyways, as I got to my table, I luckily came to a very nice young

producer named Karen. I started of with a big, loud and super bubbly

"Hello, there." This immediately brought a huge smile to her face and I

knew I had this in the bag. I sang the Idol-pimped "Proud Mary" and,

oddly, I got her attention based on talent and not a gimmick. She then

proceeded to ask a lot of questions about me until she told me step

back. The rest of my group went with no charisma or talent whatsoever

which helped me to stand out. She asked the three of them to come to

her and she told them an up front no. However, she then told me to come

up and asked a lot more questions about me. Finally, she told me she'd

give me a chance to audition for the second round and I was very

excited (that I could potentially be a worster pick). I decided to lay

more golden eggs with this goose and asked her a little about herself.

She said she was from Baldwin, NY and got into the show based on the

suggestion of another producer. That's all I got before I shushed along

to the next round.

After a couple of minutes of furiously calling everyone I knew, I

decided to mingle with potential top 24 contestants. I saw a lot of

people who could make the show (since today is the actual taping at

Chelsea Piers if anyone can make it to piss them off). There was a guy

with dreads who had auditioned last year and told me some "interesting"

stories about worster and non-worster picks. Although he agreed with

VFTW that Carly was a total cunt (take that, Idol!), he suprisingly

said some nasty things about Danny Noriega and Jason Castro. He

explained to me that Danny was a total fame whore like Kellie Pickler

and Katharine Mcphee in that during performances, he kept pointing and

winking at Paula and made silly faces to get them to like him. He also

said he had a serious attitude problem (which I said was why I loved

him). He also told me that Jason Castro "was" a top 12 pimp. He said

that he was walking in the hallway in the Hollywood rounds and came

across Jason being filmed by several cameras playing his guitar acting

like a fame whore. While I'm suprised by this, I can't say I'm

ultimately shocked but no matter.

I talked to a girl from PA who sounded absolutely awful and a black

guy who sounded like Eric Cartman from South Park. I also briefly

talked to two girls who looked like Emma Bunton and Geri Halliwell from

the Spice Girls (one of them had an actual British accent, Simon's

'favorite'). The Geri one, although extremely nice, is going to be

pimped based on her connections which I can't remember at this time. I

didn't really talk to anyone else, although the other appearance

highlights were David Archuleta 2.0, a group of Chris Daughtry's, a

white Flava Flav, two blind guys (gasp!), a guy who looked like Eddie

Van Halen, and a dorky kid with his mom (awww). The funny thing is all

of these contestants at this point were very nice and, shockingly,

secret VFTW fans. All of them were complaining about the show being

total assholes. During our three hour wait for the second audition, we

were not allowed to eat, take a drink of water or use cell phones which

everyone was resenting. This, in my opinion, is absurd.

After waiting this long time, I put on my game face again and

auditioned for a second time in front a panel of Executive producers.

There was a fat white guy, a bitchy and pissed off white woman and a

black guy. I came in and acted as I did before, ditzy and bubbly. They

immediately asked me to sing and so I decided to sing "Island in the

Sun" by Weezer. I knew I did very well and they were not feeling it.

Then they asked me to sing something else, so I sang "My Cherie Amour."

I didn't do as well, but I must have caught their attention as they

kept pointing and talking during my audtion. During this, I was nervous

they knew of my affiliation with this website. They obviously must have

when delivered this verdict.

They just plainly told me, "You need more performing experience. You

have to be as good as Fantasia and David Cook." The rest of it was just

blah blah blah. I thought to myself "Yup, they obviously must have

known." I also find it lame they chose those contestants because, quite

frankly, they suck major balls. Disappointed and trying not to cry, I

got my wristband cut and was able to sneak upstairs on my own private

elevator one of the arena staff let me sneak on. After a little

sadness, I was able to drive home and not be totally upset.

Overall, I have to agree with every point your site has to make. The

show is fickle, the talent pool this year is going to suck, and maybe,

just maybe, this will be it's last season. I think everyone in the

staff is getting utterly sick of the show and can't wait for it to end.

Maybe with this story and help from other affiliates, we can do great

things to stop Idol from being the biggest asshole on the planet. I

hope this story inspires others to either save your soul from Satan or,

if you have to audition, come up with the biggest gimmick ever.

Remember, this is reality television, not an actual singing

competition. This is reflected in every step of the process. When this

ship goes down, I will be the smiling at standby.

 

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