Constantine Maroulis Greases Up the Stage With "Crap of Ages"

Posted by thefunnystone on Monday, October 13, 2008 at 1:17 PM EDT
Share:

Poser Constantcrap and talks to Fox News about his new musical, "Rock of Ages". Cumstainedteeth still hasn't changed, complaining and looking as greasy and pathetic as ever. Wonder when this musical will be canceled?


1 2 next › last »
Smartie
Posted: 10/13/2008 at 1:47 PM Reply with quote
Anorexia Face Location: are they ceiling Lauren fat?? :O

<p>

He's getting paid a whopping $998 a week for this shitfest!

</p>

<p>

&;nbsp;

</p>

<p>

FAIL 

</p>

Back to top
azurebird
Posted: 10/13/2008 at 3:12 PM Reply with quote
Location: Where I'm supposed to be

Should have taken the role for "Grease" Constantcrap. This looks like a b-grade mess on stage.

Who created this anyway?

Back to top
Scott Baio
Posted: 10/13/2008 at 4:11 PM Reply with quote

Reporter Girl: And let me tell you, if you like Journey, Bon Jovi, Poison and Pat Benatar...

Me: Shoot yourself in the head?

Reporter Girl: ...this show truly rocks! This show stars Constantine Maroulis as Drew, an aspiring rock star...

Me: Who shoots himself in the head?

Reporter Girl: Constantine is a sex symbol!

Me: Can I shoot you in the head?

Reporter Girl: Dust off those spandex pants and come check out the show!

Me: Perhaps I'll just shoot myself in the head. *BANG* Sweet release of death, take me from this hell which engulfs me.

Reporter Girl: Oh my god, he shot himself! He's dying! Somebody help!

Constantine: Hey, reporter girl, you wanna make out with me?

Reporter Girl: Do I ever!

Me: God dammit! How am I not dead yet? *BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG* That should do the trick.

Reporter Girl: Ew, I think some of his blood just got on me.

Constantine: That's not blood, it's olive oil. I use it as a moisturizer.

Me: God must hate me. Anyone have any spare bullets? This is going to be a long night.
Back to top
guinnyd
Posted: 10/13/2008 at 5:05 PM Reply with quote
Location: Co

The clips they played of the show were terrible, I definately would NOT go see this show. Off broadway on not it should still be better quality then this. Constantine looked lost in every scene they showed with him, like he was a couple lines behind or something. Kinda looked like a preview of upcoming group performance for next season maybe, on 80's hairband night, it could happen.
Back to top
Kristy Lees Horse
Posted: 10/13/2008 at 5:19 PM Reply with quote
Location: A nice, quiet pasture far, far away from Kristy.

Scott,

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!! (Giving all spare bullets to Scott) ;o)
Back to top
theit52
Posted: 10/13/2008 at 6:50 PM Reply with quote
Location: NY

Smartie--- How do you know how much he is getting paid a week?

Yea this show does look terrible. How does crap like this ever get made in the first place?

Back to top
Fallen Angel Gabriel
Posted: 10/13/2008 at 7:05 PM Reply with quote
Moderator Location: Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!, Québec

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Back to top
Smartie
Posted: 10/14/2008 at 1:09 AM Reply with quote
Anorexia Face Location: are they ceiling Lauren fat?? :O

Because that's what everyone is getting. It was advertised when they were looking for cast members.

Back to top
idletime
Posted: 10/14/2008 at 5:42 AM Reply with quote
Location: Hell on Earth, Michigan

I like how Constantine said all of the "hot chicks" in the cast are either married or taken.

Yeah, that's what they told you, Constantine.
Back to top
alexkymann
Posted: 10/16/2008 at 10:43 AM Reply with quote
Location: Hollywood, CA

What a complete douche bag!! He passed up what? "GREASE!" I seriously doubt it. Can you put any more emphasis on that?

"Sex Symbol"??????? WHAT? Since when is he considered a SEX SYMBOL? OF WHAT?

MAUGH!!!! I just threw up in my mouth!
Back to top
1 2 next › last »

Subscribe