Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride

Let's see...it's about twice what Pocket Tool had sold his first week out, but I think about half of Penis With Ears' debut week. He probably won't flop until the second CD.

He was almost the 'flower girl' instead of the bride's maid. The compliation "Now 29" was nipping at his heels.

Maybe if he catches the bouquet he might have a number one cd next time around.

Who knows if he is lucky he might 'date' one of the Jonas brothers like Taylor Swift and write a great 'break-up' song and sell millions.

Love that photo...lol

180,260 more than Cunty...not bad for a first week! I think his album is the worst of the three that have released a CD from S7, but he'll probably do the best.

Finally I made a chop front page worthy.

Wow there are 180,000+ tards out there. Be glad that you are not one of them.

Let's see, Jorbacca's CD sold 119,000 it's first week out. So it did better than that.

Then again, that guy who won Season Two, uh...oh yeah Ruben Studdard's debut 416,000 during it's first week and then he was a has-been a week later. Runner up Claymation sold 613,000 in his first week out, came out of the closet ive years later and had a baby causing a few of the Claymates to commit hari kari.

McPeepee's CD sold 116,000 in it's debut but Bo Bice, who prayed he wouldn't win, sold 227,000. McPee went on to do a bit part in an instantly forgettable movie. Bo Bice went on to try to reclaim his musical integrity.

Pickle's CD sold 79,000 in its first week and she just released her second atrocity which with 49,000 sales debuted at number one on the country charts. So what does this all mean? Can we stir these figures and come up with a meaningful analysis?

Yes, we can do that. It means sooner rather later there will be no more CD sales as it takes less and less to make the charts. Next year's winner may sell 20,000 and finish at number one. Oh, you meant how does this pertain to Idol and Gaspy?

What it means is that first week sales don't mean squat and is no predicator of what will happen next week or next year. In other words it's a total crapshoot having absolutely nothing to do with talent, which is appropriate considering that according to Guinness, this show is the world's biggest known weekly crapfest. So what do I predict for Gaspy?

Thirteen year olds grow up in a hurry. Bye Bye Mr. American Pie.

Millions of $$ in free publicity, a lot of Prime Time exposure, and only 180,000 sold?

FAIL.

If Gaspy had been a come from nowhere, new to the scene, player then yes this would be a resounding success. But he's not and it's not.

Double FAIL.

Whose bright idea was it to photoshop Gaspy with that bitch Katy Perry. Seriously....

i listened to parts of his album on Itunes and it sucks. I think the tweens will eat this up though but by the time his second CD comes out everyone will have forgotten about him

RaptorJesus69 - I doubt there are 180,000 Gaspytards. Some tween or frauen probably bought multiple copies.

mastersnap101 - It was Dave's idea to chop Gaspy as a bridesmaid. It was my idea to chop Gaspy as the tranny bridesmaid that was supposed to be played by Danny Noriega in Katy Perry's Hot N Cold video.