All You Need to Know About New Idol Judge Kara DioGuardi

Posted by thefunnystone on Monday, January 12, 2009 at 5:12 AM EST
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Just joining us for American Idol season 8? Just hearing about new judge Kara DioGuardi? Well, don't hold your breath hoping for an amazing songwriter to give opinions. While we're excited that we'll now have another judge with a coherent opinion (Paula and Randy clearly do not), Kara will be judging the Idol singers after having written songs such as:

Katharine McPhee - "Open Toes"

Almost every awful Ashlee Simpson song

Most of Kelly Osbourne's album

Lindsay Lohan - "Confessions of a Broken Heart" (and 15 other songs by her)

Paris Hilton - "I Want You", "Jealousy", "Screwed"

Pussycat Dolls - "Beep", "I Don't Need a Man"

Hilary Duff - "With Love", "Come Clean"

Gwen Stefani - "Rich Girl"

Britney Spears - "Ooh Ooh Baby", "Heaven on Earth"

Bo Bice - "The Real Thing"

Clay Aiken - "The Way"

David Archuleta - "To Be With You"

Ali Lohan's upcoming album

Simply terrible! So this woman is one of the reasons pop radio is unlistenable. Blame accordingly. She is also the co-owner of Arthouse Entertainment, which was produced crap like Jim Jones's "We Fly High", Nick Lachey's "What's Left of Me", and David Archuleta's "Crush". Why in the world would you pay her, knowing that she's been involved with so much awfulness?


RyansCloset
Posted: 1/12/2009 at 9:05 AM Reply with quote
Joined: March 2008 Location:

because This

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is American Idol

DhaniCauldwell
Posted: 1/12/2009 at 9:53 AM Reply with quote
Joined: March 2007 Location: Convincing Anthony Bourdain to be a mentor on American Idol

Wow...that's just sad. No wonder she ended up on American Idol.

redey11
Posted: 1/12/2009 at 10:19 AM Reply with quote
Joined: November 2008 Location: Colorado

i hate all those songs so i bet ill hate her

WarzonePrez
Posted: 1/12/2009 at 11:19 AM Reply with quote
Joined: May 2008 Location:

I was going to post that Hilary Duff's "With Love" wasn't all that bad...

...then I looked at her career as a whole again and realized, yeah, they all sucked.

I think I'm going to record the entire season to DVD, if only to catch another golden moment like Brooke dodging the bullet yet again, or Jason Castro forgetting the words to the song and "thinkin Bob Marley!" Can it be topped?

Another moronic judge just might do it.

Weenrocks
Posted: 1/12/2009 at 11:52 AM Reply with quote
Joined: February 2008 Location: Buckingham Green

I would have thought it impossible for one person to be responsible for all of that crap. Although that does make her perfectly suited to have a role on Idol.

Lint_Licker
Posted: 1/12/2009 at 3:47 PM Reply with quote
Joined: March 2008 Location: Somewhere throwing tomatoes at little kids.

I like "Rich Girl" but the rest of the songs are just godawful. The worst turd out of that pile of excrement is that "Beep" p.o.s song by the Trannycat Dolls.

That being said if she's willing to be an opinionated bitch rather than a monosyllabic moron like Randy or an incoherent mess like Paula (well, thats not a bad thing actually) I'll give her a shot.

Thatswhatshesaid
Posted: 1/12/2009 at 4:18 PM Reply with quote
Joined: January 2009 Location: United States

I never heard that McPhee song, so out of morbid curiosity, I listened to it online. My computer will never be the same.

On the other hand, she's perfect for the show, since she sure knows terrible music.

Smartie
Posted: 1/12/2009 at 10:06 PM Reply with quote
I Run This Joint! Joined: April 2007 Location: Tarding for Normund & Jackie

*yawn* such tedious shit....how can one person generate so much crap?

standalone
Posted: 1/13/2009 at 12:56 AM Reply with quote
Joined: May 2006 Location: Dudu's tude

WHAT!... Bo doesn't write his own songs?!

I don't follow him, but I thought he was at least an authentic musician.

I knew DioGuardi writes shit. "Open Toes" bwahaha!

Bibulus
Posted: 1/13/2009 at 8:33 AM Reply with quote
VFTW's Gardener Joined: February 2007 Location: In a Van down by the River

...in Idol's defense, Bob Dylan is touring this year and was unavailable.

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