Taylor Hicks is Reduced to Signing Albums at Walmart

Posted by thefunnystone on Saturday, May 30, 2009 at 5:32 PM EDT
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Wow, Taylor Hicks has fallen from grace and into a muddy swamp of frauen. Poor guy. He went from winning American Idol (thanks to VFTW) to now signing albums at Walmart in the Women's Plus Sizes Department (that's not a joke... we wish it was). Idletard of course has all of the info, including pictures like the one on the left. A large crowd showed up for Taylor. And by large, we don't mean in numbers, we mean in the size of each person. They're heifers. The frauen usually are.

Analog_Kid
Posted: 5/30/2009 at 5:50 PM Reply with quote
Location: Middletown

Dave, I have to disagree. The frauen are not heifers-- heifers have longer tails.

Boogerr
Posted: 5/30/2009 at 5:54 PM Reply with quote

I remember when the Walmart people announced just a few weeks ago that "celebrity" Taylor Hicks was coming to Walmart.

I was like, Oh how pathetic. xD

Sunfyre
Posted: 5/30/2009 at 6:48 PM Reply with quote
Location: Finding an axe

The frauen always gives me the creeps

standalone
Posted: 5/30/2009 at 8:24 PM Reply with quote
Location: in a pile of chocolate chip cookies

Why do I feel bad for Taylor Hicks?!

*reminding self* Never have empathy for a reality show contestant.

Thelonious
Posted: 5/31/2009 at 4:44 AM Reply with quote

Calling Taylor Hicks a celebrity is like calling a hot dog a tube steak.

clint_taurus
Posted: 5/31/2009 at 6:44 AM Reply with quote
Location: location, location

ATTN Danny Gokey:

this is your future

(substitute Lenscrafters for Wal-Mart...or wait, aren't some Lenscrafters inside Wal-Marts? that would be perfect for him)

clint_taurus
Posted: 5/31/2009 at 7:26 AM Reply with quote
Location: location, location

and LOL @ the fattie in the Hoveround...

Hoverounds are the white trash version of Seg-ways...

nothingtoadd
Posted: 5/31/2009 at 8:58 AM Reply with quote
Location: everywhere

I think I'd kill myself if I went from having a recording deal with a major label to signing autographs at Wal Mart. I realize he probably makes more money now than he did before American Idol, but can he look at himself in the mirror? Wal Mart? That's just the most depressing thing ever.

Lambert FTW
Posted: 5/31/2009 at 3:41 PM Reply with quote
Location: Sanjayaland

i can't believe i finally made it onto the site! i don't appreciate you guys making fun of me though. the yellow shirt wasn't fitting and this picture catches me at a bad angle.

TAYLOR HICKS IS THE REAL ROCK GOD!!!!1

Pieces_Of_Trash
Posted: 5/31/2009 at 7:00 PM Reply with quote
Pimps Up, Hoes Down Location: holed up in the compound

Why is there always a fat bitch in a Hoveround - Lil'Rascal at Wal-Mart?

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