Sparkle Cows Threaten to Murder a Guy Because Adam Lambert's Song Didn't Premiere

Posted by thefunnystone on Friday, October 02, 2009 at 3:05 PM EDT
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Ryan Seacrest's producer Sadao Turner had tweeted that Adam Lambert's upcoming song "Time For Miracles" was going to be in the preview for the movie 2012 that premiered last night. Well, wisely, the song was left out of the preview. But this made the Sparkle Cows (Adam's fat, glitter wearing fans) angry. Some of the angry frauen took to Twitter to entertain us:

BabyLambSkank OMG @adamlambert his song was NOT on there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so MAD!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

LiveLoveLambert @adamlambert im in tears right now adam! i was looking forward to your music. omg..i have such a bad stomache now. but ik its not your fault

TuMadre4Real @SadaoTurner you just crushed my hopes and dreams, EVERYTHING IS A LIE. fuck you 2012 preview, FUCK YOU! #IWANTMYTFM 

Then, it turns to death threats:

Richelle177 @SadaoTurner dont think U will live till the end of this year,better start packin ur shit! 

HotStickiBunz82 IF THIS SHIT DOES NOT GO DOWN WITH ADAM LAMBERT SINGING THERE WILL BE HYMN SINGING AND FLOWER BRINGING AT SONY STUDIOS!!!  

cherylagogo LOL POOR DUDE, A GLAMBERT JUST TWEETED THIS TO THE SADAOTURNER GUY: "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU IF I WERE YOU I WOUDN'T SLEEP. :D" 

Really, people? The song is going to be awful. Save yourself the embarrassment and go on a diet.


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SPOON
Posted: 10/2/2009 at 4:59 PM Reply with quote
Location: Location: Location:

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You would think that these morons would understand that no Venue would want to book Adam Lambert if they found out that he would only attract ass-holes like this to their place of business.

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Tsk-tsk glitter-cows.  You should have gotten a clue when Kris Allen won over Adam at the finale.  Ruiners!  Laugh

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Smartie
Posted: 10/2/2009 at 5:33 PM Reply with quote
Anorexia Face Location: are they ceiling Lauren fat?? :O

*waits for fat frauen to waddle in to claim they were only kidding with the death threats*
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Codez
Posted: 10/2/2009 at 5:49 PM Reply with quote
Location: Canada

I actually went to the second to last twitterer's account and everything on there is so ridiculously over the top that its hilarious. PEOPLE THAT TALK IN CAPS SOUND ANGRY ABOUT EVERYTHING ESPECIALLY ADAM LAMBERT.

case in point:

" I AM GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWALS...I AM WANTING TO F5....AND THERE IS NO MAIN PAGE THERE!!!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT A FUKK KRUMP IS...AND I DON'T WANT TO EAT IT"

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joeyharmonic
Posted: 10/2/2009 at 8:03 PM Reply with quote
Laconic Bastard Location: Purrfect's catnip stash

Sony were smart not to include the song in the trailer, they know the Sparkle-heffers will now pay to watch the movie and then leave right after his song. If Sony want to play along with us, they should put Glambert's song in the final credits, which will force them to sit through the whole movie without leaving to take a pee.

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magicrob75
Posted: 10/2/2009 at 8:14 PM Reply with quote
Location: Shreveport, LA

see now thats funny STONE!

Nice post!
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sarahinAZ
Posted: 10/3/2009 at 5:34 AM Reply with quote
Location: Tempe, AZ

Wow, is this serious? How many people in the world are that delusional? I keep thinking this is a joke.

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Crash
Posted: 10/3/2009 at 8:20 AM Reply with quote
Location: Frauen amateur night at the strip club

Joeyharmonic, you might just get your wish. Remember Titanic and Screechine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." It didn't play until the credits. All the old people sat in the theatre and listened.

I can see it now: everyone filing out of the theatre while the heifers are holding up glowsticks and swaying.
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SayNoToPaula
Posted: 10/3/2009 at 9:47 AM Reply with quote
Trying to become comfortably numb Location: Fleet Street

Sadaoturner is Gokey's cousin! Let's rile up the glambots even more. Maybe they'll wear themselves out with all the ranting, tarding, threatening, and just general douchebaggery. I doubt it but can only hope. Kiss your career goodbye Madam. They're giving the Claymates a run for their money. Disgusting!
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dafeedil
Posted: 10/3/2009 at 11:00 AM Reply with quote

Yeah, and we're not talking about 14 year old little fangirls who haven't figured out how to control their raging whoremoans, we're talking about 40, 50, 60 something year old women acting like moronic imbeciles over a gay theater singer. Nothing these women do surprises me anymore. As much as I dislike Madam, I wouldn't wish these rabid women on anyone. Welcome to your post Idol life, Madame. Here's a big fat Nelson Muntz HA HA.
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T.J.
Posted: 10/3/2009 at 11:08 AM Reply with quote
VFTW's Lifeguard Location: Doing an Awkward Elbow Dance.

I'd take these threats seriously if I knew the frauen were strong enough to kill someone without having to bring a rascal with them.
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