Vote for the Worst Presents: The 10 Worst Songs of 2002

Each week, we'll be featuring the worst songs from each year this decade. We'll be counting down the absolute worst songs to come out each year from 2000 to 2009, and we'll be bringing back all of the songs you wish you'd forgotten. These are the songs that people just can't seem to believe exist, because they're just so terrible. There is a good mixture of guilty pleasures (the awfully funny) and complete crapfests (the awful with no merit). At the end of the 10 weeks, you'll have an opportunity to vote on the worst song of the decade.

2002 was a year for terrible songs with good intentions, pointless remakes, and songs about the joys of interacting with the female anatomy. So without further ado, here's a recap of the songs that made you contemplate throwing your car radio out the window in 2002.

10. Kelly Osbourne - Papa Don't Preach

The success of the TV show The Osbournes afforded the whole family some success. Sharon got an embarrassingly short lived talk show that was canceled almost immediately. Jack got a stint in rehab for his drug addictions. But the biggest shame was Kelly's recording career. Her first single was a cover of Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach", which was ironic because there's no way any man was looking to impregnate Kelly. Ever. For those of you who think her next song "Shut Up" was worse, you are correct. But it didn't come out until 2003 *cue creepy foreshadowing music*

9. Kelly Rowland - Stole

Attempting to bank off the success of her duet with Nelly, Kelly Rowland quickly released an album with lead single "Stole". Nevermind the fact that the chorus is grammatically incorrect, the histrionic lyrics come across as more laughable than serious. It's a song with all the best intentions to bring teenage violence to light, but it's just so sappy and ridiculous that you can't help but roll your eyes. Nice try, Kelly, but no dice.

8. Good Charlotte - Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Good Charlotte had always been a no talent pop-punk band, but they finally became laughably bad with this song about how celebrities complain too much about being famous. Brothers Joel and Benji Madden then went on to date Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, making this awful song look even more ridiculous. Joel Madden complained to newspapers this year that he had to cover up his tattoos to get on a flight. The irony is now off the charts.

7. Creed - One Last Breath

Creed littered the 2000s with terrible Adult Contemporary rock, making their sad excuse for music completely unavoidable on the radio. One of the worst offenders was their song "One Last Breath". The video isn't subtle about using terrible special effects and pathetic acting from lead douchenozzle Scott Stapp. The lyrics "Hold me now, I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinkin', maybe six feet ain't so far down" don't even make any sense. Creed broke up when the band members realized Scott Stapp was a chode, and they formed another band with everyone but Scott. Sadly, the entire band reunited in 2009 for some reason. At least it qualifies them to keep appearing on these lists.

6. Jennifer Lopez (featuring Styles and Jadakiss) - Jenny From the Block

Jennifer Lopez wants you to understand that no matter how much money you give her, she's going to stay real. Seriously, guys. In case you don't agree, she sings "I stay real, to me it's like breathing." Well then, Jenny, you can't argue with that. Ben Affleck sites being in this cheesy video as the one big regret of his career (seriously). Jennifer has still not cited this song as one of her biggest regrets. Give her time and maybe she'll come around.

5. Tweet featuring Missy Elliott - Oops (Oh My)

The first of two Missy Elliott appearances on this countdown (why, Missy, why? you're so much better than this) is this guilty pleasure song about female masturbation. Tweet continually asserted that the song is "not about masturbation" in every interview that she did. Indubitably, she is correct. The lyrics "I was looking so good I couldn't reject myself" and "I was looking so good I had to touch myself" prove Tweet's point with certainty. She's merely showing off her disappearing finger trick. You go on girl, scrape that cheese off the taco with yo bad self and tip toe through the two lips.

4. Brandy - What about Us

Bowing down to the trend of the minute, Brandy made her voice sound as robotic and generic as possible, yielding one of the most obnoxious songs of the year. It takes Brandy about 50 seconds to actually change up the tuneless monotony that the song starts out with, but it doesn't get better from there. Instead, the song barely deviates from the same lack of melody for almost 4 minutes. What about the time I just wasted listening to that? What about it, Brandy?

3. Janet Jackson featuring Missy Elliott and Carly Simon - Son Of a Gun (I Betcha Think This Song Is About You) (The Original Flyte Tyme Remix featuring Missy Elliott)

That's a mouthful of a title. Janet takes a classic Carly Simon song and gives it the awful update it never needed. Janet uses a monotone whisper to intimidate the man who just cheated on her, but he's probably too busy laughing at her to be scared. The over the top video with creepy women crawling out of toilets just makes it even more of a joke.

2. Toby Keith - Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American)

If anyone has ever wondered why Americans have a bad reputation in other countries, you need look no further than this horrible redneck anthem. Replacing the Statue of Liberty's "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses" with "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way", one moron offended the entire world with a rash song about how America wants to kick your ass. It was another song with the possibility of good intentions, as 9/11 was a terrible event in the history of our country... but the song was written and sung by a man with an IQ smaller than a peanut, so the results were not so prolific. Think of it as Redneck Shakespeare. "I am a redneck. Hath not a redneck eyes? Hath not a redneck hands? Hath not a redneck guns?"

1. Khia - My Neck, My Back (Lick It)

There is absolutely no competition for the worst song of the year. "My Neck, My Back" is masterpiece of awesomely bad lyrics and rapping that deserves recognition. Like "Stole" and "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue", Khia has good intentions. She merely wants to bring to the attention of the masses the joys of cunnilingus and anilingus. Thus, she points her man in the right direction so he licks her neck, her back, her pussy, and her crack. The clean edit of the video is still funny, but for maximum awesomeness you need to listen to the original version to learn how "the best head comes from a thug" and "a bitch like me moans and screams, thug misses know what I mean." Khia resurfaced in 2008 on the TV show Miss Rap Supreme, but was disqualified for stealing her own music when asked to write an original verse. Oh, Khia. You'll never top "My Neck, My Back", and no one can top you for the worst song of 2002. At least you can accept your award with a happy crack.

Leave a comment with your choice for the worst song of 2002, and check back for the worst songs of 2003 next week.