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dafeedil
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Posted: 11/18/2009 at 4:41 AM
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Joined: March 2008
Location: Meh
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Cow and the one bull meltdown in 5...4...3...2...1.. 
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SayNoToPaula
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Posted: 11/18/2009 at 5:13 AM
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Trying to become comfortably numb
Joined: February 2008
Location: Fleet Street
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Why don't you just say it Dave. OK, I'll take the liberty. It's just one big pile of shit.
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thefunnystone
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Posted: 11/18/2009 at 5:21 AM
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I Run This Joint!
Joined: May 2006
Location: Wearing Your Favorite Chicken McNuggets in a Mariachi Band Pin
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As you can see, I attempted to be fair. But yes, the album is shit. I genuinely liked "Pick U Up" until it got to that bridge. Why ruin a song like that?
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screaminmeammies
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Posted: 11/18/2009 at 5:32 AM
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Joined: April 2008
Location: Wandering around aimlessly
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I'm kinda confused. Isn't the problem for Idol contestants is that they're tied into contracts where they have no control over the music they're to record post Idol? Are we busting Adams' balls for something he has no say in? I haven't listened to any of Adam's stuff since Idol so I'm going on my faith in Dave's opinion about the debut album. I can't imagine anyone singing/recording something Karathehag wrote of his or her own free will. ugh.
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vftwkim
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Posted: 11/18/2009 at 5:34 AM
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Joined: July 2009
Location: behind you
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I'm listening to it now. Oh Adam, I hope you invested the money you earned on the Idols tour.
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kakoforever
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Posted: 11/18/2009 at 5:35 AM
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Joined: March 2007
Location:
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I'm a fan, but definitely not a sparkle cow, and I agree with most of your review. I actually expected more edge, not mediocre radio pop. I sort of liked his "glorified Broadway" songs, I think it works for him. Fever is my favorite. Soaked is very nice. But I really did get bored halfway through many of the others. He keeps saying Glam is Back. Is this album glam? 70's and 80's music remixed with a 2009 synth production....it averages to somewhere in the 90's. I played FYE for a gay friend who didn't know who it was, and he thought it was the Backstreet Boys.
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vftwkim
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Posted: 11/18/2009 at 5:39 AM
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Joined: July 2009
Location: behind you
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"I'm kinda confused. Isn't the problem for Idol contestants is that they're tied into contracts where they have no control over the music they're to record post Idol? Are we busting Adams' balls for something he has no say in? I haven't listened to any of Adam's stuff since Idol so I'm going on my faith in Dave's opinion about the debut album." Over the summer I spoke to Adam during a press hour. He said the label really gave him artistic freedom on the album, that he was already co-writing some of the songs, and he wasn't forced in to doing what they wanted.
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thefunnystone
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Posted: 11/18/2009 at 5:44 AM
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I Run This Joint!
Joined: May 2006
Location: Wearing Your Favorite Chicken McNuggets in a Mariachi Band Pin
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You can tell by listening to the album that Adam is loving it. Which is truly sad.
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LuckyBlackCat
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Posted: 11/18/2009 at 5:48 AM
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VFTW Band Member
Joined: June 2007
Location: Feh
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But, but, wasn't this album supposed to be the second coming of 70's rock, 80's glam, current pop and the ghosts of Elvis and Freddie?
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supedupX
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Posted: 11/18/2009 at 6:02 AM
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Joined: March 2008
Location: New York
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I agree with most of what Dave said. The biggest disappointment in the album is that it really is just a bunch of throwaways from already established singers. When I listen to Soaked I picture Muse singing it better, Whatya Want I picture Pink singing it better, Pick U Up, etc... Its alot of just recycled rejects, nothing fun or inspiring. Though the one shameful secret is I do enjoy Fever and If I Had You. Only, because I feel Adam's true calling is ridiculously bad but fun gay club techno/dance. He can even do the songs in drag in the future at some random gay club in the midwest!
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Adam’s album is a sharp departure from his time on American Idol. Back then, he was playing it safe and barely experimented with style except in very protected, calculated ways. But now he’s letting his freak flag fly on this album. The only thing is, I didn’t think it would be so boring and formulaic. Songs like “Broken Open” beg me to ask the question why Kris Allen was considered the boring contestant on Idol if Adam can release dreck like this. And after learning Kara DioGuardi wrote a song called “Strut” for the album, I was expecting an unabashed, gaudy anthem. The song starts with the line, “I want to start a revolution”, but it never really launches. It seems that Adam should be asked why he should bother with a revolution when he can sing songs that Pink, Lady Gaga, and others were smart enough to reject from their own albums? I’m sure it sounded like a good idea to sing a Linda Perry song after she’s had success with many pop artists, but “A Loaded Smile” is just terribly tedious. It’s amazing to see someone who seems so preoccupied with appearing edgy singing dreck like this, because there’s absolutely nothing interesting or edgy about the song. I would normally excuse some bad songwriting due to the fact that the Idols have to turn these albums around quickly, but Adam got his pick of working with some very popular songwriters, so there really isn't any excuse.
The biggest problem with the album is that Adam views himself as a sex symbol and wants to brag about it on songs like “Sure Fire Winners”, “If I Had You”, and “For Your Entertainment”. “Sure Fire Winners”, possibly the worst song on the album, includes lyrics where Adam brags about his big gun shattering your scene and how everyone wants to ride on his rocket ship. And “For Your Entertainment” is just a Britney Spears reject that sounds ridiculous being sung by a male. If Adam is so comfortable with his sexuality, why does he insist on singing “lover” and “baby” rather than use male pronouns? It’s a contradiction that makes the album seem self-conscious. If you’re so open with your sexuality, why take the effort to gloss over it? It’s almost embarrassing being a gay man listening to this album and hearing the moments of discomfort, especially since he seems obsessed with selling himself as seductive.
To be fair, the album has some decent moments. The only problem is that the songs with real potential are usually ruined by Adam’s incessant cat-in-heat howling. “Pick U Up” is a definite standout that I actually enjoyed until the laughably horrible Broadway-style bridge and inevitable wailing. “Sleepwalker” is typical Ryan Tedder faux fanfare fodder that might blend in on the radio if it weren’t for the over the top chorus and inevitable wailing. And while “Music Again” is an incredibly flamboyant piece theatrical gelatin, it’s kind of fun in the vein of The Darkness… until, you guessed it, the inevitable wailing. Thus, there really isn’t one song that could really make it as a hit unless you like that sort of thing. I don’t, and I’d wager to guess most people won’t, because it sounds painful and forced. The screaming is incredibly polarizing and not really going to pick up any new fans, because it doesn’t fit into the pop bubble in which he has immersed himself.
So who is Adam Lambert? Apparently he’s not the rocker he tried to be on Idol, and he’s not the Broadway baby that helped him attain his pre-Idol success (although “Soaked” and a few other album tracks are nothing but glorified Broadway soundtrack songs). He’s a pop diva, which isn’t really a surprise. It’s just too bad he didn’t have the cajones to do this type of music on Idol, because then at least the record buying public would have had an idea what they were getting into. Adam wouldn’t have finished as high as second place in that case, but he might have had a career. “For Your Entertainment” is essentially ensuring that he’ll be regulated to being a Trivial Pursuit Entertainment Category question by 2012, and it's "Time for Miracles" (aka payola) to save him if at all possible. This album is just a collection of songs rejected by other singers, and it's obvious why the songs were rejected in the first place. By the time you hear Adam coo “no no no” in a baby voice during the song “Fever”, you’ll be ready to throw the album out the window unless you’re a Sparkle Cow with blinders on. The only real path to success here would be to release “Sleepwalker” or “Pick U Up”… though it’s a gamble that either would succeed on radio without some massive payola. Then, he should just record a new album. Because this one isn’t going to get Adam any attention, Lisa Frank inspired CD cover notwithstanding.