Chris Golightly - American Idol Top 24 Contestant

Posted by thefunnystone on Saturday, January 16, 2010 at 5:16 PM EST
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What is with Idol's affinity for curly haired, transgendered looking contestants this year? Chris Golightly is from Orange County, California. So far, this dude seems like a total douche. His music MySpace lists his name as "Orphan" where he goes into his sob story about how he was an orphan as a child. Direct quote:

Hello, My name is Orphan. I was born in San Pedro, CA. Now here is where it begins, when I was three years old I was placed in the system. Growing up without my parents by my side is what I had to accept. As a child it was very rough and I had to stand up on my own two feet. Every holiday was harsh because my parents and my family were never there. Every year was becoming more and more stressful, the older I got the angrier I became. Running away from foster homes etc... every five months made me come to realize I had stories to tell... Ever since I was three to the present day that you are reading this, I am still an Orphan ready and dedicated to my music.

OK, this guy is seriously pathetic. Looks like an early front runner for Sob Story Douche of the Year. And why is it that the contestants that Idol previewed with commercials back in December are all suddenly in the top 24 that was selected this week? Pre-selected much?

SAQUISHA-MISHA
Posted: 1/16/2010 at 5:42 PM Reply with quote
Location: IMMA BLOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER UP!

oh he was an orphan! lets all vote for him. -_- I hate sob stories.

Smartie
Posted: 1/16/2010 at 5:45 PM Reply with quote
Anorexia Face Location: are they ceiling Lauren fat?? :O

Sideshow Whiny.

TheDancingCookie
Posted: 1/16/2010 at 5:52 PM Reply with quote
Location: The Isle of Hate

Not sure what I hate more, his hair or his over-affected singing. No, I'm sure - it's the hair.

joeyharmonic
Posted: 1/16/2010 at 7:04 PM Reply with quote
Laconic Bastard Location: Purrfect's catnip stash

Its been obvious for a long time that at least some of the finalists are chosen even before auditions start. All of the plants for sure (I'm looking at you, Carly) and then some of those who went far in the competition (cough, Jordin). I don't think they pre-fill all of the top 24 (I'm sure most of the fodder comes through the audition stages) , but I should think it's been a significant number in previous years. It's a reality show OF a star-search competition, so they don't have to take anyone who actually auditioned or went to Hollywood, but then, that would look pretty bad.

jedweber
Posted: 1/17/2010 at 5:05 AM Reply with quote
Location: Pia's Clam Bar

Jesus Christ, I'm losing track of all the sob stories already...

What do we have so far?

Cancer Boy...

Down's Syndrome Brother...

Senile Granny...

Spina bifida Mom...

Am I forgetting any?

Craptastic
Posted: 1/17/2010 at 5:31 AM Reply with quote

According to the guy whose mom has a spine problem, she's got "spinal bifida". Pretty lame when you don't even know the real name of the birth defect your mom suffers from.

jedweber
Posted: 1/17/2010 at 5:51 AM Reply with quote
Location: Pia's Clam Bar

I wonder what the Ultimate Sob Story would be? We've already had a dead wife, and sick/ handicapped relatives are a dime a dozen.

How about a single mom, from a horribly disadvantaged background, with a cute child who happens to be terminally ill. The kid's dying wish is for Mom to win Idol. And the kid dies durng the season. On camera! Oh, and the kid's dad died on 9/11, while rescuing people from the WTC. And the grandparents all died in the Haitian earthquake.

Now that would be awesome.

thefunnystone
Posted: 1/17/2010 at 6:17 AM Reply with quote
Administrator

Jed, that's almost Angela Martin's story.

Disadvantaged background.

Kid with disease.

Father dead.

Mother missing.

But she was cut apparently

jedweber
Posted: 1/17/2010 at 6:40 AM Reply with quote
Location: Pia's Clam Bar

Too bad. Maybe she couldn't actually sing too well? It might be a little helpful to have that skill, along with a sob story...

Moxie
Posted: 1/17/2010 at 7:29 AM Reply with quote
Location: In the icebox.

I smell something funny here. He claims he's an "orphan" yet in his description he says "when I was three years old I was placed in the system." That doesn't sound to me like his parents died, but like they didn't want him/couldn't take care of him. And what about the rest of his family? Where were they? I'm thinking this story will either be blown to pieces as a ruse, or will be shown to be worse than it looks now...i.e., an even bigger sob story. AI will drop him if it's the former, or over hype the tragedy if it's the latter.

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