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Simon: Are you the next American Idol? Maddy: I guess, it's just a job really, a way to keep me moving. My real passion is my hobby. Simon: What's that? Maddy: I work with retards. Simon: I beg your pardon? Maddy: You know, the guys who ride the short bus. Simon: Isn't that a little politically incorrect? Maddy: The hell with that! No one's gonna tell me who I can and can't work with. Simon: No, I mean... Maddy: One of my brothers, we call him Mongo on account of he's a mongoloid. He got out of his cage once and... Simon: He's in a cage?! Maddy: Well it's more of an enclosure really. Simon: You keep him confined? That's bullshit! Maddy: That's what I said! So I went out and got him a leash, you know, one of those clothesline runners for the backyard. He's got plenty of room out there to dig. The kid's really blossomed. Now I can take him to ball games, movies, you know, happy stuff. Simon: That sounds like fun. Maddy: Yeah, it's fun for them, but it's heaven for me. Those goofy bastards are just about the best thing I have in this crazy old world.
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