There's a lot of buzz going around that American Idol desperately wants a girl to win this season. And who could blame them after the tweentards and fat housewives have completely taken over this show, turning the past two seasons into a massive sausage fest. And if they truly do want a girl to win, they've cleared the path by casting the ugliest group of male contestants we've ever seen on this show, and that's saying a lot. Read on to meet this motley crew but be forewarned...you may not want to do this on a full stomach.

 

Police Officer Bryan Walker has a nice Everyman story. The only problem is he looks like he learned how to use his police baton by practicing on his own face...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You've heard of a Police Mugshot. Well this is a Fugshot. Now I know why they call them pigs.

 

 

 

VFTW fell in love with Amadeo Diricco the moment we met him as it's easy to tell he has a heart of gold. But unfortunately he looks like something Tony Soprano pooped out the morning after a huge Italian Wedding...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While Amadeo and Bryan may have hinted at a certain trend on this year's show, meeting Top 24 contestant Andrew Garcia made American Idol's attempt to fill this year's cast with hideous looking people ridiculously transparent...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now we know what you get if you cross Danny Gokey with a Bush Baby.

 

 

 

We should've known this season was going to be ugly when we heard that Michael Castro is back...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael cage fights and while I don't know what his ring record is, based on his face, I'd guess his fighting is even worse than his horrendous singing.

 

 

 

There are rumors contestant Michael "Big Mike" Lynch has been eliminated from the show for blabbing about making the Top 24. But I'm wondering if the real reason he was eliminated was because after doing a screen test, his mug cracked the lenses on all their cameras...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There's talk it's going to be a cold winter and in case there's an energy crises, there's enough grease and oil on Top 24 contestant Casey James to keep the nation warm for three months...

 

 

 

And if the oil shortage goes on beyond three months, we can turn to Tyler Grady, who surely will be bringing the grease as he's Joesplace's favorite contestant...

 

 

 

 

 

 

VFTW members are such dog lovers. On the right, you can see a Scottish Terrier. And on the left you see an American Terrier...

 

 

Rumored Top 24 contestant Ben Honeycutt with his half-brother

 

 

 

 

A lot of people (all of them fat) are wondering if Top 24 contestant Alex Lambert has anything in common with Adam Lambert. While it remains to be seen if Alex screeches like a cat, makes out with men or makes an ass of himself at award shows, one thing they do share are pusses only a mother can love...if they're blind...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Contestant Chris Golightly is an orphan and doesn't know who his parents are. We're guessing they're Little Orphan Annie and a morbidly obese Black man, giving us Little Orphan Trannie...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If Chris were my kid, I'd orphan him too.

 

 

 

 

It's not like there hasn't been unattractive contestants in the past; To wit: Danny Gokey. But Danny's not ugly enough for this season. We need someone who looks like him, but fatter, uglier and with more hideous tattoos than him. Someone like Lee DeWyze...

 

 

 

 

 

While this pack of mutts will have America turning to The Olympics by next month, VFTW says the freakier, the better, and I have a sneaking suspicion there's one Top 24 contestants who's beautiful in a VFTW way we'll be watching very closely...Gay Romulan teen Aaron Kelly...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

American Idol has had it with the flop male contestants this show has produced over the past two seasons. They are going to get their next Carrie Underwood or Kelly Clarkson, and to make sure, they're giving us a group of males even the most desperate housewife or raging tweentard couldn't vote for.

So, who's your favorite male FUG?

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