Howard as judge? Wouldn't be the first time a judge tried to hump a contestant. But any and all package artists would require a boob job and at least be in one porno.

Howard Stern as an Idol judge is the best idea TPTB has ever had. It will generate watercooler conversations and give the show a degree of edge that it has never had since its inception. It also will never happen in a million fucking years. For one, I just don't see Stern being either willing or able to tone down his radio show act to fit a PG-rated show. That's just not likely to happen. You also have to remember that a chunk of the Idol fanbase was aghast at Ellen DeGeneres being added to the show (because of, you know, teh ghey), and her humor is about as colorful and outrageous as an unseasoned rice cake. What do you think the fundies would say about Howard fucking Stern? As cool as this would be, it's never going to happen, so we might as well just brace ourselves for the disappointment.

He'd try to play anal ring toss with Lil Rounds...

This is a worster's wet dream Best Stern moment for me was when he had Richard Simmons in the studio and wouldn't let him leave without giving Stern a hug. Never heard Simmons swear until that day ^_^

I know this is a minority opinion, but...

I used to listen to Stern every day until he moved to satellite (for lack of anything better to listen to). I found him to be a depraved degenerate and emotionally damaged/mentally ill. And he's not nearly as funny as people say he is. If he becomes a judge, I become an ex-viewer, VFTW or not.

Stern would be a brilliant choice. He's brutally honest and funny, always has been, so you know he'd deliver the goods. And how great would it be to see him be just as brutally honest in confronting the other judges and Seacrest and the band as he would be towards the contestants?

Stern would hold 'em all accountable and keep it honest, he'd be fair, calling out any BS if he saw it happening, and he's really funny, especially when he goofs on people. And since he has a reputation for creating controversy, he'd create so much buzz that would lead so many to tune in just in anticipation of what he might say or do that will generate constant news coverage and keep the ratings high.

No one would have the balls to goof on Seacrest or Ellen like he would, and it would make for some CLASSIC tv. Based on the way he's been talking about it on his radio show lately, it's starting to sound like Stern not only would take the job but he's almost campaigning for it...aah, it would be so great if this could happen.

Some comments I could see him making:

"Ellen, enough already with your boring opinions; no one cares and you don't know anything about the music industry. Instead, start talking about things you actually do know and would care to hear more about...like the body on that hot wife of yours. That's what America wants to hear you yap about!"

"Kara, I don't know what you just said and you probably have 30 million people out there scratching their heads confused because they can't pinpoint why they find you so unbearable, but I do remember liking you in that bikini you wore during the finale last year. So how about wearing it from now on so we can hit the mute button when you're talking and at least be able to enjoy watching you talk?"

"Ryan, can I pay you $15 million a year for the next three years to NOT host this show anymore, you big phony!"

"America, let me just tell you, I've only been working with Randy, Kara, Ryan, and these producers for a week and I now completely understand why Paula was always so loaded when she was on the show. These people will drive you absolutely insane! And I'd rather be drunk if I have to keep listening to Ellen over here always trying to be funny."

"Who came up with that song arrangement? Horrible, just horrible. Will someone please just fire this moron music director already? Why are you all so afraid of admitting he's an idiot? Hey band guy, Ricky, whatever your name is, you suck! There, producers, I just told him to his face, so can we be done with him once and for all?"

I'm sure he could be tempted re: the California issue, as the show would only require him to be in LA for about 3 months, and only 2 nights/wk at that, and I'm sure they're offering to fly him back and forth to NYC on a private jet each week immediately after the tapings finish (early Wed evening), so he could really just fly out on Tues AM and have to spend just one night away from home. If it were a year-round gig like "Price Is Right" host, then I agree the move to CA would be a dealbreaker.

to Alexis Grace: Single mom, huh? Wow, I bet you've f***ed alot of black guys.

to Megan Joy: Your singing was weird or whatever, but why don't you come sit in the tickle chair and take your shoes off?

To the person who said Howard Stern would be brutally honest -- he's not. He's gratuitously mean, which evidently passes for honesty to some people. Simon was/is more or less honest, sometimes, but not often, mean, although the British accent makes him sound meaner than he really is. If Howard Stern were put on AI I would never watch it, or look at VTFW, and thus lose my funniest viewing and reading of the week

^^ Yup-- we're totally simpatico. And I don't get why people think he'd be this paragon of candor and forthrightness. I've caught him being deceptive and dishonest on his radio show countless times. He's no less of a liar than everybody else, and would not be the thorn in the producers' side or fly in the ointment that people think he will be. He'd just be another wage slave accountable to his bosses, albeit a highly paid one. He would not do anything to jeopardize his salary-- he loves money too much.