Hilarious, NW. Every time I walk past Central Park, I know that line will pop into my head.

A mailbag!

*rubs hands in anticipation*

Sharon, you first.

The girl he was kissing was his 19 year old girlfriend, which none of you could have dreamed of having at his age.

No offense to my fine lesbian friends, but I never wanted a 19-year-old girlfriend, at 16 or any age since. But man, since you say I should have been dreaming of 19-year-old chicks at the age of 16, sounds like I musta had a pretty warped childhood! I liked guys. But I guess I can try to make up for lost time...

He is a sixteen year old kid, who has dreams and aspirations like alot of us did at his age.

Burnt out much?

I have to say, that I chalked up his success to 12 and 13 year old girls voting for him, but you people are so sick.

Oh...I get it!!! You're the president of the fan club! So if I sign up as "Chelsea" and say, "OMG I LUV JAYD" and show you pictures of his initials on my hamster, THAT'S okay -- I get a "pass" -- but "sick" people (indeed, anybody YOU don't personally approve of) aren't welcome. Well, I can certainly do my very best tweentard impersonation, although I've never been to a fan website where the maximum age was 13!!! I don't know how the rest of the "sickies" will feel, tho...

I know that my opinion will not mean anything to people like you that are the type that we watch on the news at night, doing sick things to other human beings.

Look, let's get one thing straight. The people who end up on the news? STOO-PID. That's why they ended up on the news. You have to be sneaky-smart about these things. All my bodies are buried in Texas. Did I say that?

Just remember, that what you do will affect alot of people, but it's only the only person that you have to spend the rest of your life with is yourself.

Not 100% sure what you were trying to say here (trying to translate, squinting) but is this an obscure Bill Gates reference? *puzzled* Give me a clue!

I pity your poor families. What a horrible embarrassement.

You know that's a good one, really inspiring. Tack it up on your mirror and read it aloud when you look at yourself!

All the rest:

Lady Kerns -- cardboard is really good with tabasco sauce.

Kathryne Ann -- I hope all_sabrina is right and you DID text that in. 'Cause your thumbs were probably ready to fall off from all those "FUCK YOU"s. You might want to consider getting them whittled. If you used a computer, we are all heartened to see you know how to use the "copy/paste" function. But that was boring. Try adding color or bolding. Exclamation marks always add drama. In time, you have the potential to be a really good troll! Keep working at it!

Erin -- We only do this in a desperate attempt to prevent mass apophallation.

Jacob -- I love your attitude.

John -- and I'll be one of the millions of people laughing at my computer screen at your retarded website when your princess Elvis wannabe goes home

Dave, did you hear that? MILLIONS of people will be laughing at us! Better raise your ad rates, quick! I mean, John KNOWS!!

Later, 'tards.

Well I think that this is all a little stupid. Do you guys have any idea how many people haven't heard of you? Everyone is saying "Every single Canadian is a dum fuck". Same with Americans. Don't get me wrong, I think were smart. I just think that its lame that you guys take every single person who disapproves and make fun of them. Like that typo somebody made. Who gives two fucks? Why can't you guys just leave these people alone? Remember Season 2 of Canadian Idol? Look it up on youtube. Our top 6 did an awesome medley. They all came out with there instruments and started playing and singing. It was amazing! And remember Kelly Clarkson? Amazing singer, and she's still on Much Music. I'm just saying, the only reason Canadian Idol and American Idol sucks now is because of you guys. Greg Neufeld could have won that thing. Liam Styles Chang was great. Weird but great. I don't really care about how many of you guys on this site hate me, I'm just pointing out how big of a deal your making out of these shows.

Oh Jake,

You dangle your red "meat" in front of us and wonder if we will resist the primal urge to bite it off? I have one word for you...castration.

"Do you guys have any idea how many people haven't heard of you?"

And yet, here you are on this site trolling like a pro. Well, not really a pro, maybe like a rank amateur but you bothered to come here to tell us that you don't know us? I think you may want to seek some medical help for that head bump you incurred while slamming the car door repeatedly on your neck.

"Like that typo somebody made. Who gives two fucks? Why can't you guys just leave these people alone?"

Weeeeellllll, I don't give two fucks, but I maybe give half a fuck. Again, I want to point out to you ( because that double vision you have from the head slam is clouding your vision) that THEY CAME HERE TO TROLL. We did not travel to their myspace page and misspell words like "destorying" to amuse them. But that idea has merit.... *Magooish runs over to myspace to find Jake's lameassed web page to troll*

*Magooish comes back to report Jake's myspace page is so lame that it was not worth the effort to post a comment*

Face it Jake, you came here to get your butt kicked and your nose bloodied. I now turn you over to my dear friend Nightwing for further punishment. You can pull your pants down now and assume the position....let the hazing begin!

Magooish

We don't call every Canadian a "dum (sic) fuck"; nor every American during AI season. It's just the ones who write letters full of piss and vinegar, especially those including the seeming requisite "fuck you"'s in solid caps.

As far as taking every single person who disapproves and making fun of them, remember they came here in the first place and were....

Well, I was going to say making fun of us, but most, if not all, of them are deadly serious. They leave themselves open to ridicule. At least we know it's all a joke, the Idol programs included. We're not the ones who take these shows too serious, as you so incorrectly surmise. If you can't figure that out from the tone of this board, then you're as clueless as the letter writers.

Dear Jake:

My, my, my...

You think "this" is all a little stupid? Cupcake, YOU are a little stupid...

Dude...while I don't doubt at all that there are indeed many, many "smart" Canadians and Americans, you, bro, are not amongst them. You see, you haven't made mere typos...like the vast majority of VFTW Haters (a/k/a "Trolls"), you've made a number of grammatical, spelling, usage and punctuation errors.

Typos are one thing; consistently fucking up the English language is another.

How can you come to a site and talk about being smart when you're not smart AT ALL? Dumbass, is your common sense sharing space with your colon?

Now, Achy Breaky Jakey, I can't answer your question as to how many people don't know about this site; I do know though, fucktard, that it is APPARENT that YOU know about this site. DOI-DUH-DOI-DOI!!!

"Why can't you guys just leave these these people alone?" Now, this is the precise moment when your brains started sploshing out from your bunghole. Sigh...once and for all (yeah, RIGHT...), if these Trolls didn't come here to OUR HOUSE with such weak-assed, moronic and bullshit-filled pathetic posts, we wouldn't have to SPANK THEIR COLLECTIVE FUCKTARD ASSES!!!

Take a look at earlier posts regarding AI. There are those who disagree with us in a sensible, understandable and civil manner...and then there's the 99% who are brain-dead, tweentard hillbillies. Hmmmm...in what category do you fit, Jake? Worster responses, quite naturally, are commensurate with the (generally offending) posts' quality...

Now, Baby, the absolute HOWLER was you saying that AI and CI suck because of us...here's a little hint, Princess...THEY SUCK BECAUSE THEY SUCK. Like a hoover...like a ho extracting a pea from a coke bottle...like Bush/Cheney. THEY SUCK BECAUSE THEY SUCK.

Finally, Jake, we don't hate you, Sunshine. In fact, as I've posted here before, if you're a hillbilly, pretty and dumb, you and I need to have some off-line time to make a date.

We don't hate you, Baby...you're just a tasty tidbit we're snacking on before your inbred fucktard hilliblly relatives (a/k/a AI Fans) start traipsing through this site...and we make a Value Sized Meal of them.

Now...don't you feel better, Sugar?

Hoping to Help You Lick Your Wounds,

M-Dawg