Vote for the Worst Presents: The Worst Songs of 2011

Every year, Vote for the Worst puts out a list of the worst songs of the year. And this year was a spectacularly bad year for music. So bad that some of the most obvious bad songs didn't even crack the top 10 (I'm looking at you, Jason Derulo). But if you're in the mood to laugh your ass off at some really terrible songs, read on and check out the definitive list of the worst songs of 2011.

10. Beyonce - Run the World (Girls)

If you’d like to see the moment Beyonce’s career jumped the shark, press play. The woman who could crap on a cracker and sell it for millions releases this song and suddenly none of her songs are played on the radio, her album tanks, and she pretends to be pregnant to get away from it all. Way to run the world by singing terrible lyrics over an Afrojack song.

9. Chris Brown featuring Ludacris – Wet the Bed

Chris Brown and Ludacris win the award for the worst oral sex metaphors of the year. You know a song’s going to be bad when the opening line is “Hear the sound of your body drip as I kiss both sets of lips.” Does anything sound more disturbing than relating something a baby does to a woman getting so sexually aroused that she loses control all over her bed? The song just gets more and more, well… ludicrous as it goes on, culminating in Ludacris announcing that his lady’s juices are going to be used to baptize her. At least R. Kelly didn’t write this one or we’d have a completely different story on our hands here (because he likes when people pee on him).

8. LMFAO – Sexy and I Know It

Take anything redeemable about “Party Rock Anthem” and remove any catchiness until all you get is “Sexy and I Know It.” There’s really no need to explain why this one is so bad, just listen and enjoy.

7. will.i.am featuring Jennifer Lopez and Mick Jagger – T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)

It seemed like T-Pain would become a permanent fixture on my worst music lists, but then Soulja Boy came along to take his place. And now that Soulja Boy is too busy insulting American troops to make music, someone else has to keep producing terrible  crap year after year to take his place. Enter will.i.am. Sure, he’s been around for a while, but it seems like every song he produces is worse than the prior one. By next year, he’ll be releasing a track of nothing but grunts and screams, and by 2013, he’ll just record himself taking a crap. Though honestly, that may end up being an improvement. will.i.am’s rapping is idiotic (I woke up in the morning/hard like morning wood in the morning), Mick Jagger really should know better, and like fadedyouthtube says on this video's YouTube page, “Jennifer Lopez has the singing talents of a bleeding chicken.”

6. Cher Lloyd – Swagger Jagger

Cher Lloyd, a product of the UK X Factor, looked up to the Rolling Stone at #7 and had to one up him on this list. Cher released her debut single and made Oh My Darling Clementine, an annoying song in its own right, even more obnoxious. I learned from this song that apparently people can’t stop talking about Cher, but it’s probably because they’re laughing at her for releasing songs like this. And can we please just retire the word “swagger” from our vocabulary already? It hasn’t been cool since 2008, and even then, it was iffy. I guess England is at least 4 years behind America in what’s hot, which also explains Cher’s tacky hair extensions, awful outfits, and Amy Winehouse wannabe makeup. Also, can someone explain why she’s carrying around a boombox since she’s playing her song on an iPod?

5. Mr. Ghetto – Walmart

This fine piece of cinematic brilliance perfectly articulates the type of clientele that inspire PeopleOfWalmart.com. Mr. Ghetto’s booty popping dancers get a real workout at “Wally Wally Wally Wally Wally Wally World” while picking up some lingerie and douches (no seriously, they’re buying Summer’s Eve) with their governmental assistance debit cards. You can’t make this stuff up.

4. Toby Keith – Red Solo Cup

I haven’t gotten a chance to put Toby Keith on this list since he tried to put a boot in someone’s ass, so it’s nice to see an old friend coming back with an even stupider song. Some songs are funny because they’re bad. This one is just sad because it’s pathetic to see a middle aged man pretend to be cool due to the fact that he’s hanging out with some inebriated college kids. And if it wasn’t bad enough already, Glee decided to do a version of this monstrosity – the telltale sign that your song has jumped the shark.

3. Big Sean featuring Nicki Minaj – Dance (A$$) Remix

Songs about asses are always a good bet to be hilariously bad, but this one is the gold standard of booty bangers. Besides getting to learn how to say ass in about a dozen different languages, the sample of U Can’t Touch This is just crazy enough to work. The highlight though is Nicki Minaj’s verse, where she raps about analingus and then holds out the word Waikiki for an inordinate amount of time. By the way, make sure you kiss her “ass” AND her “anus.” Bonus points for the red solo cup appearances in this video, making that plastic cup the worst prop of the year.

2.  Brian McFadden – Just the Way You Are (Drunk at the Bar)

It is an age old tradition to have a WTF moment on these lists. So enjoy your rapping, country, dance, folk, pop Irish dude who glorifies sexual assault.

1. Rebecca Black – Friday

Sure, it’s predictable to put Rebecca Black at the #1 spot, but come on. Can you name one song that came out this year that was worse than this one? I am officially obsessed with this song because it’s the perfect storm of bad music. Yahoo! Music called it the worst song ever, The Week called it the worst music video ever, and it’s the most disliked video ever on YouTube. There’s no need to explain further, just rewatch this video and fall in love with the overall terrible tune all over again. There’s no contest – Friday is the worst song of the year, maybe even the century.

So what do you think? Did I miss anything? Do you agree with the list? Leave a comment!

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