Carly Already Knows Mariah Carey

Psychic... powers... kicking in... Here's how the meeting will go:

Carly: [walking into room where Mariah is seated at the piano] Hello, Miss Carey! It's so wonderful to meet you for the very first time ever before in the history of my life. I'm a huge fan!

Mariah: Hmm, are you sure we've never met before? Your voice sounds familiar, and you look vaguely like a girl I met a few years ago, except fatter and more tattooed.

Carly: Ha ha ha! No, no, we've never met before. Ever. It didn't happen. That must have been someone else.

Mariah: Well, okay. You do seem familiar though.

Carly. No, I don't. Did I mention I'm Irish? I work in an Irish bar. And I serve Guinness to people, which is from Ireland. Irish!

Mariah: But I could've sworn you were the same girl. She was Irish, had a record deal and curly, poodle dog hair...

Carly: Not me! My hair is straight! You know, I did have a record deal once, but my label exploded in a terrorist attack on 9/11, so nobody could buy my record. But yeah, the girl you are talking about is totally different than me.

Mariah: Whatever. So whcih one of my songs have you decided to sing?

Carly: I picked "My Heart Will Go On."

Mariah: But... that's a Celine Dion song.

Carly: No it isn't! You sang that one.

Mariah: Umm, I'm pretty sure that I didn't.

Carly: Yes you did. I'm Irish!

Mariah: [looking at the camera] Am I getting Punk'd or something? I thought I was supposed to be the crazy one, but this girl is obviously some kind of compulsive liar and maybe even a psychopath. I know I've met her before. Now that I think about it, aren't you that girl who only sold like 400 albums and lost $2 million for her record label? I knew I'd seen you before----

Carly: [flying across the room at Mariah] GAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Mariah: [clutching her throat] My god, you bit me with your huge beaver teeth! I'm bleeding! I think you severed my jugular!

Carly: [with blood dripping down her chin] No I didn't. It was the terrorists' fault. I'm Irish!

[Mariah Carey passes out from blood loss and eventually dies. Carly dances a merry jig around her pot of gold.]

She does share a strong resemblance to a vampire, maybe we should start flinging garlic and crosses on the stage when she comes out, she'll be racing back to her coffin.

Please let this happen. For realz, dawg. Then, in future seasons, when someone sings a Mariah song, Randy can say "Yo yo yo, I know Mariah! She's like my BFF. Dude!" Then the new 4th judge, incarcerated Carly (who sits in a cage on the other side of Randy) can say "Yo yo yo, faith and begorah! I know Mariah! I ripped out her lucky charms with me bare hands! Leprechaun in the hood!"

Scott, that was hilarious and they need to post that for everyone to see on here immediately... oh wait, they already did, but here's hoping everyone reads it.

To add to what you've already said, here is how Fox will edit down the exact same meeting:

Carly: [walking into room where Mariah is seated at the piano] Hello, Miss Carey! It's so wonderful to meet you...

(camera cuts to Mariah smiling and nodding for a second)

Carly: ...I'm a huge fan!

(cut to random piano keys shot)

Mariah: So which one of my songs have you decided to sing?

Carly: I picked...

(suddenly, her voice slightly changes to a male producer's voice and the camera shot switches to Mariah smiling and nodding)

Carly (as male producer voiceover): ...VISION OF LOVE.

(cut to random shot of piano keys being played by a professional, but you only see the hands so you think it's Mariah)

Mariah: (in bland voiced pretaped voiceover with obvious cuts in from male producer's voice) < VISION OF LOVE > is one of my favorite songs from my < FIRST > album and I've always loved it. < CARLY > has chosen the perfect song and I'm sure < S >he'll do well.

fortunately, Carly is in the final "pimp" spot and Mariah's death goes unnoticed until Wednesday's live performance. Fortunately, MARIAHBOT 3000 was ready to go, as well 200 screaming and jumping TEENIE BOT-ERS 2000's to applaud at the MARIAHBOT 3000's performance. However, Simon's stand-in INSULT-A-CONTESTANT BOT 1000 was not ready and the camera caught several angry annoyed glares from the real Simon. Idol has an all-time low ratings once again and the show declares "best final 5 ever!" after last non-plant David Cook gets sent home.

So I think it's safe to say that Carly will be "safe" this round? Mariah is guest judging too, I thought I read, I can't wait to hear the praises...

Maybe next week, the contestants can do track from Carly's album. Then after that, Carly can just pick the songs for everyone else to do.

The show is becoming more and more of a joke with each week. That's almost impossible at this point.

She's singing "Without You" today

Hmmm - can you guys give details on the proof that they've already met?

It will probably go like this:

Carly: "Hi! Good to see you! I'm a fan!"

::hugs Mariah::

show a clip of her singing

Mariah: she's got an amazing voice!

"Without You?" Sheesh. Another cover of a cover. Let me guess...Syesha will be singing "I'll Be There?" And David Cook will emo up her ridiculous version of Prince's "The Beautiful Ones."

I would pay to see David Archuleta sing "Honey."

I wonder if Mariah will always stand in profile and just tilt her head to the right to look at the camera?

Ah ha ha ha....after I left my last comment, I checked MJ's Big Blog for song spoilers and saw this picture of Mariah with the Top 7.

http://media.mjsbigblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/AITop7a.jpg

Turn to side, tilt head to right. Damn, I'm good.

I wish you had saved this for tomorrow. You know that the retarts at AI follow the site. Now they will do the proper edits. Oh well.

Flash forward 10 years: Carly McSmellyGash graces the cover of Penthouse magazine "American Idol Losers where are they now"

By Losers it is meant to describe them, not if they won or not.

I hope her version of "Ken Lee" is as good as this one.

God bless Bulgaria!